#ojl

Against my side and he’s Shaking My fist curled on his back And my knees buried in our chests Silence falls heavier than my Breathing, I’m sucking In water and my eyes are drier than my Tongue Hand to my heart and away as My body comes to life, The tremors in flesh and blood And my clothes are big enough to swallow Now, like I did then Dim fire-hazard light from the next room And an ambulance siren outside the Window, again I’m Clinging, releasing, fearing, calming, He’s alive and dead again He’s himself and then not He’s so still and flat to me Lifeless as a boat dock plank, Afraid of what will bring the next quake, But he’s there But he’s not But he’s there

I got a tattoo today momma,

Of a hickey from my childhood, A horizontal red blotch stretched Across my collarbones. Mostly straight, curved for convenience, If I kept it all that night I must have been destined to keep it For the rest of my life. The hinge on the toilet lid Was busted that week and I closed myself in Because I was too weak.

Symptom of burn victims, My dad said from the kitchen, Dancing in perfect circles Unison Around crowded table tops And footless floors below. I took my shirt off and you laughed Because I seemed to be Perforated from the waist up, The scissors rusted in the shower and I can’t use them anymore. Dew drops, dew drops, Sign of a new day, apparently, and I agree.

I like the color red Splashed across my fingers. Being thrown down the interstate Like a bowling ball, Holding my glasses at my temple. River rocks that I can Sneak into church, Praying stones for when I’m praying you’ll stop staring at me. I’m not mumbling for you.

I like bones and You told me that deer shed their antlers, But I couldn’t find any. Beaded and strung and carved, Definitely in that order, I think.

I like the idea of mechanical rain, Oily, grease-hail, Industry of Cain. Do piercings with the gun, not the needle, That’s what they told me When I was a calf. So, what did I do? Blade of grass through the left ear lobe, Lubed and bleeding and congealed, Out of love and greed. No diamond ring shall pierce me, Only onyx and your birthstone, Sea-stone, right? Or an unholy river rock.