Feb 20
My mother, re: the Heated Rivalry shower scene: You could bounce a bowling ball off that Russian kid's ass!
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My mother, re: the Heated Rivalry shower scene: You could bounce a bowling ball off that Russian kid's ass!
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Okay so if someone you lived with has been sick, working 9-10 hour days, and has gotten both the flu and COVID vaccines, and today had their first day of winter break, and they've stated, "I think I need to do nothing for today and nap until I feel okay", do you think it's reasonable to, in this order:
Yell at the dog
Do some weird banging cleaning routine in the bathroom outside the tired person's door
Watch TV downstairs at full volume
Tell the dog, at the top of your lungs, "I can't wait any longer. You'll have to wait down here because Sara won't wake up."
Slam the door to the house as you leave.
Note: not once did this person text or ask me, "Hey can you keep an eye on my dog for a little bit?" Nor did they leave a note, or tell me their day plans, or ask for any help.
Tl;Dr I live with a child and that child is my mother who I've been parenting since I was 14.
Me: Hey, we should probably fast forward because we're about half an hour behind, and they've already reported 4.5 million votes.
Mother: Um, no they didn't. It's too early.
Me: They've called Kentucky, Indiana, and Vermont.
Mom: No they haven't! *gets to live results* Oh.
I just survived my husband and my mother making jokes that involved vibrators and lube please clap and also maybe pay for a therapist
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