#ogssj

/tears up loudly

walked around downtown to look for a hotel to stay at the day before the concert

my friends and i were like, "oh hey, what if infinite's staying here" and we walked around the restaurant area around 10am the day prior to the concert and i saw a group of another fangirls near the lobby. holy fuck okay this is where things get real.

i C A N'T EVEN BULLET POINT THIS HOW- SO.. WE WALKED TOWARDS THE RESTAURANT.. and like i noticed there were 2 guys coming this way too and thought it was just some random people that booked a hotel here.. and then the 2nd group of girls started following being so i was thinking "why are they following us, do they think we know where they are or something l0l" and then we stopped at the door and just stared at the menu cause we were scared to go in. 

and then the 2 guys walked into the restaurant and i heard one of them speaking in korean when they walked in so i thought it was their dancers or something o mg fml AND THEN WE ENDED UP TALKING TO THE GIRLS BEHIND US AND THEY WERE ALL LIKE, INFINITE'S IN THIS HOTEL, SUNGGYU JUST WALKED PASSED YOU-

I'M SO B YE I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH. wow but how could you recognize an idol when he's literally covered up.. Sunggyu was in hoodies, his sweats and his favorite black boots ide- and his hood was up i believe..? i couldn't even see his face that well or i would've noticed those chinky eyes okay cr IES  MO OO O OoooM

so after that we just waited around the lobby.. and the other group was telling us how they got autographs and how dongwoo was really nice.. and woohyun seemed to have been in a bad mood and had a nose bleed or something; no really sure.

minutes later they came out from eating breakfast fuk ok uHM. so i went up to sunggyu and tried to hand him my gift for him but he was like gesturing that he couldn't take gifts or anything and i was just like ))))))))))))))))))))))':..... and then DONGWOO COMES TO THE RESCUE YAS. so they're going to the elevator back to their rooms and we just followed them to the hallway (don't worry, we didn't go in lmao, we were just at the hallway before where all the elevators were) and i just kept calling sunggyu's name idek why o mg i hate him ): and then I SUDDENLY WENT LIKE "DONGWOO DONGWOOOOOOO" and he fking turns to me i- m om- and he looks at me straight in the eyes okay, he was literally like less than a foot away from my face (i think he lowered himself to my height too look at me face to face.. or i think he's just that short uhm but he looked like he moved his face near mine to hear me cries) and then he's  just like "sunggyu? sunggyu?" and i'm like "YEAAAH SOBS" and he takes my gift and yeah i- o god my kokoro someone hel p.. yeah.. o woohyun was there but he didn't really.. do anything?

omg i found out like a month later that sunggyu went through my bag at the elevator area and he took out my card (and didn't even look at it) and i think my first present was for myungsoo and it was on top.. and he was all like "what is this.. it's for myungsoo" LMAO IM SORRY- cries

THENNNNNNNN.... a think like an hour later hoya came down stairs, holy fk he was wearing his glasses, he's so cute i- apparently he went biking with his manager? (i wasn't there but my friends with him) hoya was sort of playing with them too.. like from far away, teasing them ha.. it's cute though cause they told me hoya and his manager didn't know how to use the bike things (we have these public rental bike things on the streets so yeah, gotta pay a machine and stuff) they talked to this guy that was there too and was asking how to unlock it i guess... and HOY A WAS SPEAKING IN ENGRISH HOW CUTE I- he was all like "green lighteu? ah~" b ye, why am i not hoya bias wow o

hours later, we were just tired and just decided to walk outside for fresh air.. it was like 5-6pm around? I don't remember but we were starting to see more fangirls.. and i always saw some of the fansite unnies around lmao.. so we were walking and we were gonna go back into the hotel.. when we saw camera crew right next to the hotel.. idk why, but it slipped my mind that probably one of the members were there.. i just thought they were taking pictures.. of the hotel or something uhm.. but then yeah.. we walked pass and.. I DIDN'T EVEN LOOK IN THAT DIRECTION, WHY? CAUSE I WAS AFRAID SOMEONE /WAS/ THERE and i would probably go insane.. and then one of our friends were like "OMG IT'S SUNGYEOL.." and it ended up being woohyun......uhM? they were shooting something..? i'm not really sure what but he looked like he was in his destiny concert clothing er..

anyways day of the concert, there's really not much to talk about here, i got eye contact with like hoya, sungyeol, dongwoo..? don't remember o.. and woohyun grabbed my phone... didn't take a selca (asshole).. woohyun and sunggyu hitting on this sunggyu fan next to me (she has some bright led banner)

friends got airplanes, stuff toys they threw out

here i am, listening to Sunggyu sing Only Tears with Beats.. and I'm just really super deep... hm..

SJSU is just a special place. A place of memories and smiles. 

It was the place that held my first Korean concert - JYJ. 

It was the place where my team won regionals for robotics. 

It was the place where Infinite grabbed my heart, my soul, and my life. 

I didn't think it was possible for a place to have such an impact, but every time i walk by, I remember the crying moment when I went up to the judges to get my gold medal with my team. That was one of my proudest moments. It was one of those moments where I finally felt accomplished. I was just so elated and overjoyed. 

Fast forward 7 months. Infinite... oh Infinite.. 

I can't even begin to describe the whole experience. If I had to use one word, it would by surreal. It was like God's will. I hadn't even planned to attend until 2 days before. Hell I'll be honest, I didn't even care about Infinite until 2 days before. I was literally cramming and making playlists of the OGS set list 2 days before and replaying the hell out of it while doing homework. The only members I recognized was Sunggyu (bc my friend stanned him and spammed me) and Dongwoo (bc he just stood out). I knew I wanted to support them since no kpop artists came to SJ, but I couldnt afford to spend $ on a band I didn't like with college apps and tons of school work to focus on. It was God's will that one of my friends (thank you so much) gave me a floor seat for FREE. And then getting separated during the stampede into the area but eventually finding my way to my friends up in ROW ONE... still surreal. Did that actually happen to me? Especially now that Infinite has climbed up to #3 on my top bias groups... was that actually reality? If i hadnt taken pictures, i probably would have thought I dreamt the whole thing up. How was it that it was a 3 day weekend, first row, pit seated, eyecontact filled night could be so perfect? 

After OGS, I can literally feel the change. I've somehow become more emotional, kinder, and more self confident. Was it all the eyecontact I got from Sunggyu, Dongwoo, Sungyeol and Hoya? Somehow, 7 boys I didnt even know before 11/11 managed to change me. Even my friends noticed.... I wouldn't give up my memories of that day for anything. 

This is probably really childish and I'm going to reread this 10 years later and call myself a fool..but I wanted to write this to capture my memories and feelings before it fades. 

I'm usually not the person to cry, but why am I tearing right now? Speaking of tears, why was Sunggyu the first person EVER to bring me to tears while singing live? EXO is my top bias group..and even when they had their 1st win, I didn't even batt an eyelash. So why am I feeling this way right now? 

...

maybe I need some sleep... i dont know anymore...