#ofdd

Chapter 8

       I awoke with a start the next morning.  I was bewildered for a few moments, confused in my groggy state.  I finally realized it was the front door banging open and wondered if I would ever get used to living with two boys.

        When I heard muffled voices coming from down the hall, I realized that it wasn’t just Harry ad Louis and slowly rolled out of bed.  I padded barefoot down the hall, but bottoms of my too big pajama pants dragging on the hardwood floor.

        I recognized Liam’s voice and it seemed calm, but when I heard Zayn snap at someone I stopped in place, leaning against the wall.

        I couldn’t make out what they were saying, so I finally came into the living room and saw Niall, Zayn, and Liam.  Louis, who had also clearly just been woken up, was sitting on the couch, looking slightly confused.

        I was going to speak when Harry also entered the room.  “What’s going on?” he said, scratching his head and yawning.  I tried to avert my eyes but found it hard.  He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, and they were slung so low on his square hips that I would tell he wasn’t wearing underwear.  I finally forced myself to look away before my eyes could follow his V down.

        “There’s been...a picture,” Liam said carefully.

        “You really fucked it now,” Zayn spat angrily at Harry.

        “What are you talking about?” Harry replied, too tired to parry with Zayn’s attitude.

        “Give me a computer,” Liam said.  Louis left the room and quickly came back carrying his MacBook Pro.  He handed it to Liam, who sat down on the couch.  Harry and Louis sat on either side of him while Zayn and Niall circled behind the couch to get a view of the screen.

        Liam typed into the computer for a second, and then Louis and Harry’s faces dropped.  “Try explaining that one to everyone,” Zayn said, stepping back from the couch and pacing.

        “It’s pretty bad,” Niall said timidly.  That made me a little nervous.  Wasn’t he supposed to be the positive one?

        I went and stood in front of Liam, who met my eyes and slowly turned the computer around while Louis leaned back into the couch, throwing his arms across his eyes.

        I had to bend down to see the picture.  It looked like a tabloid website, all bright color fonts and pictures of celebrities running down the sidebar with ridiculous article titles.  And there I was.  Standing in the airport, Harry and Louis wrapped around me.  It was a fuzzy picture, but I could clearly tell that I was crying.

  One Direction’s Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson were seen embracing a mystery girl at Heathrow Airport.  Later, the three were seen leaving the airport with many suitcases in tow.  Could this be a new love interest for one of our favorite boy band members?

        I tried to swallow but my throat was completely dry.  I didn’t know exactly what it entailed for the other two boys, but judging by the tension in the room, it wasn’t ideal.  I also didn’t want my face plastered across any gossip sites.

        “It’ll be fine,” Louis finally said after agonizing minutes of silence.

        “How?” Zayn barked.

        “Zayn, please calm down,” Liam said, exasperated.

        “No, this is really bad,” Zayn said, emphasizing every word.

        I noticed Louis on his phone, concentrating while Liam and Zayn went back and forth.  I hoped for his sake that he was trying to get in touch with someone who could fix this and not asking his friend to go to the next soccer game.

        “I know it’s bad,” Liam said.  “But we don’t have to start fighting about it.”

        “I don’t want to fight!  But this was careless!”  Zayn cried, throwing his arms up in the air.  I wanted to tell him he should change his tone if he was trying to avoid a fight, but I figured I’d keep that one to myself  for the moment.

        “There,” Louis said, holding up his phone for everyone to see.  “Check Twitter,” he said.  I watched as all of the boys took their phones out and logged on.  Louis handed me his phone since I didn’t have a Twitter.  Or a phone.

        When I took the phone, I saw the picture, which he must have copied off the site, along with a short caption.  Underneath the picture of us hugging, Louis wrote:

  Just a good friend we’ve known for ages.  That’s all xx

        Zayn rolled his eyes and turned and left the apartment without another word.

        “It could work,” Niall said, his voice a little shaky.

        “I know, mate,” Liam said, standing and patting Niall on the back.  “It could.”  His voice sounded more defeated than Niall’s, but he still sounded more optimistic than Zayn.  I was just now realizing that this entire thing would be much more complicated and stressful than it seemed.

        Later that night, no one had heard any more speculation about the picture.  Of course there were rude or bored fans commenting terrible things on Louis’ twitter, but I couldn’t read them anyway and most of the fans seemed to believe him.

        Harry went to Zayn’s to try to speak to him.  Their personalities were fairly close and if Louis tried to talk to Zayn, they would just end up bumping heads.

        “I’m sorry,” I blurted out as I sat at the table with Louis, slowly eating dinner.

        “For what?” he asked, taking in a huge forkful of the pasta dish I had made.  “This is good.”

        “Not about the pasta,” I said, looking down at my plate and pushing the food around with my fork.  After that day, I didn’t really have an appetite.  “Messing up your whole life.  And Harry’s.  And the rest of the band’s.”

        “Sasha,” Louis said, putting his fork down and reaching over to me.  His voice was gentle and he lifted my chin up so that I had no choice but to look into his eyes.  “I don’t want you to ever say that again.  You didn’t mess up our lives.  It was all of our bad judgment and now there’s no turning back.  Yeah, it was unexpected but we’ll be able to work everything out.”

        “But what if we can’t?” I asked.  I wished I had control of my movements because I could barely stand to look at him.  “What if everyone finds out and thinks the three of us are just big whores and no one wants to buy your music anymore?  And then they don’t want to listen to just the other three and One Direction is actually done forever-”

        “Stop,” Louis said, cutting off my rant.  His face softened after, as if he didn’t mean to say it as harshly as he did.  “Even if other people do find out, it’s not going to be the end of the band.  I have more faith in our fans than that.  I know some are a little – extreme – but most are understanding.  I promise – I won’t let this be the end.”

        I thought about what he said, but I just couldn’t picture it being okay.  This wasn’t like a random girl dating one of the boys, where fans would either love her or hate her and that was that.  It was completely different.

        “This conversation is over,” Louis said, picking up his fork again and stabbing at his pasta.  “You are not to be sorry anymore.”