Sep 16, 2014
26
#i’m so tired#of panic attacks#of crying myself to sleep#of avoiding people#of sulking in the library or in vargas#of feeling like i’m not good enough#f making every single fucking thing people say may pinaghugutan#of feeling like i don’t deserve affection from anyone#of avoiding gazes#of pretending i'm okay#of making my laughter sound louder or more hearty than i actually intend it to be#f standing on my roof and making a snap decision not to mess#it has not stopped. not even for a day.#day after fucking day is a goddamn chore to get through. and i’m tired#because you are not the fucking standard yet somehow i’ve managed to build my whole world around you and is it worth it really#but you know me: i forgive too soon too easily#was it really worth it? is it really worth it?#congratulations: i think this is what i wanted. being left alone. not getting people all worked up and worried#but if you don't already know: i'm fucking miserable#now let's just play the blame game and pass the fault around#(although i don't think you're keeping tabs on me anymore which means you shouldn't be feeling guilty anymore)#that's good i guess#you win#enjoy the birds and virgins i don't fucking know#this can't keep going on forever but i can't tell who'll give in first#maybe me#but before giving in i might just end up giving up#good fucking night
