#octorocker

"    Hey-----   you're that spy,   right   ??   THE UNDERCOVER SINGER   ??   "   A CONFIDENT VOICE CALLED   over the silence,   firm hands placed at belt---bound hips and legs making long strides over to the Octoling he was informed of.   Giving a grin,   a gloved arm raised to salute the other.   "   MY NAME IS HAMISH CORLTAX,   Elite,   I'm the squad leader of the splatoon assigned as your bodyguards for the time being.   The honour's mine.   "   Arm now lowering,   the Octarian Elite relaxed his stance to something slightly more casual. 

Since his return, Urick had made an effort to remain fairly close to the surface. Food wasn’t much of a concern up here, while the screens and artificial sun offered a fairly different view of the place that his kind had called home for so long. Of course, most of his elite training took place in a similar sector, but he never had the chance to just.. observe until now.

This was something he was far from used to living with; the domes he grew up in were deep in the underturf, mostly hidden away from the makeshift surface of the upper-levels of Octo Valley. They were mostly dark and dank, food was more scarce, and illness was not an uncommon threat for the residents of the lower levels. He could have lived anywhere else, but remained in such a place for personal reasons.

This is a fantastic post, but I felt weird as I read it because I know in my heart that I'll never be able to write anything like this; these types of ideas would simply never occur to me. I was having trouble trying to figure out why this is, but then I realized that the answer is right in the introduction of the essay:

I present to you the second in the Book of Mudora series, so-named because it shall endeavor to present a comprehensive analysis of the Zelda series, which shall be consistent with itself, which shall be consistent with the games, which will explain the games, and which reason does not reject.

Specifically, the bit about "which shall be consistent with itself, which shall be consistent with the games" is the problem. In order for this sort of theorizing to be possible, one has to start with the assumption that everything everyone says in the games is true and correct.