written 9th may 2026.
the back of a downtown ambulance. lungs failing, body convulsing, eyes rolling. nothing but the sounds of apologetic birthday wishes from the paramedics as they attempt to sedate the mania. my brain frantically rewinds the cctv tapes of my life, searching for the perfect memory to go out on. i’ve never been so close to death. i've also never felt more at home. the gurney is my bed, and the paramedic reads my vitals aloud like a fairytale.
but the death is only actualised in my head. as it always was, as it always will be. there are no funerals for psychosomatic casualties, no flowers left on the graves of the living dead, no tears shed for those whose bodies just won't accept the desperate pleas of the brain to let go.
the paramedics tell me i'm free to go. they sign my discharge papers and send me on my way. but i think i’ll be trapped in this ambulance forever.
