#ocf2020

Sharon felt the earth move from under her feet, her body dropping through the crack as she continued to scroll through the news sites. The baristas and patrons around her were either crying or gasping in shock as they realized what had happened. 

A massive crash on the high-way into the city. A pile-up due to the ice roads. Many were already presumed dead. 

Feeling her stomach turning, Sharon packed up her things and fled the coffee shop. Her fingers flew to her phone, trying to call the person she was about to meet. Almost falling over from hitting the door on her way out, Sharon felt how bile was rose in her throat. 

No answer. 

She ended the call and tried again, the device vibrating as text messages kept coming in from concerned friends and family, asking her where she was. But replying to them was far from Sharon’s mind. 

“Come on, Tarja. Please pick up.” Sharon whispered as once again her call kept being unanswered. 

Tarja was only in the Netherlands for a couple of days for a vacation, having extended it many times due to Sharon’s insistent puppy eyes. They had rented a car and gone all around the Netherlands, enjoying the sights and each other’s company. She said that she would take the same car to the city…

Sharon heard the police and ambulance sirens in the distance, the urge to throw her phone to the ground growing stronger by the second as her panic grew. 

Today was supposed to be the day, the day that Sharon told Tarja that she loved her. She had been denying it for so long, but having Tarja so close for so many days had made the longing for her grow. All she wanted was to feel her body under her fingertips, to feel the warmth of her body as she kissed her. 

People passed by Sharon in a quick pace, either towards or away from the crash site. But Sharon was rooted in place, not even realizing that she was crying. 

“Hey, Sharon!”

Her mind was unfocused as her heart kept pounding in her ears, the words barely reaching her distraught mind.

“Sharon.. hey… are you okay?”

The voice had turned a bit concerned as Sharon turned her head and through the blur in her vision she spotted a familiar face. Head clad in soft looking hat and a scarf placed around her neck. Snowflakes in her hair, a stark contrast to her nearly black strands. And those eyes. Tarja’s eyes. 

“My phone ran out of battery so I’m sorry that I didn’t answer your texts if you sent any. And I’m sorry that I’m late but I just wanted to find the perfect christmas gift for you. And I don’t know why but people started freaking out around me as I walked here and they were shouting things that I didn’t understand and it w-”

Sharon’s lips upon Tarja’s own took them both by surprise, Tarja’s words getting stuck in her throat as she sighed into the kiss. Sharon felt her knees and stomach drop with relief, Tarja being wise enough to drop the bags that were in her hands to catch Sharon as she felt her tremble. Acting on her earlier urge, Sharon brought up her hands to cup Tarja’s cheeks and ran her thumbs across her cheekbones. 

Pulling back and resting their foreheads together, Sharon felt how her worries left her, only to be filled with love for the woman in her arms. 

“There was an accident on the road and I thought you had been in it.” Sharon whispered, biting her swollen lips to force the tears away. 

“I’ve been in the city for hours and the car is parked close to here.”

Sharon leaned back and released her lips to kiss Tarja again. 

“I thought I had lost you without telling you that I love you.”

Sharon heard the intake of breath coming from the other woman, her body ready itself for rejection. Instead she saw how warmth began filling Tarja’s hazel orbs, the same eyes Sharon wanted to drown in forever. 

“I love you too.” came out of Tara’s mouth without hesitation, sealing it with a kiss that made Sharon’s toes curl.

Folder, folder, Christmas card from grandma, electricity bill, Christmas card from her parents… One by one Charlotte checked the mail she found while climbing the stairs to her apartment. There was nothing unusual, and the package she’d ordered over two weeks ago still hadn’t arrived. It had been a disappointment when opening the mailbox, but it couldn’t ruin her good mood. A fresh batch of Christmas cookies were waiting for her in her oven, and nothing would be able to break her holiday spirit. Not even the mountain of dishes that were also waiting for her.

Charlotte was aware of the melody she was humming by the time she reached the third floor. Christmas songs had always been one of her guilty pleasures, no matter what time of the year it was. There was something about them, something hopeful that always filled her heart with warmth. As did the scent of freshly baked cookies that filled the hallway. Just another minute or so, and they would be done.

The humming continued when Charlotte slid her hand in the pocket of her hoodie and took out her key. It was then, when she looked down at the key in her hand, that the humming fell silent. The joy running through Charlotte’s veins turned into panic as soon as the realization set in. She made a mistake. A big one. And her holiday spirit wasn’t as unbreakable as she thought.

She kept staring at the key in her hand. The spare key she usually gave to her neighbor to empty Charlotte’s mailbox when she was out of town. The key that opened her mailbox, but not the door to her apartment. She was locked out, and her cookies were locked in.

Possible solutions flashed through her mind. Who had a key of her apartment? Her parents, but it would take them over half an hour for them to get there. By then the building was probably already evacuated because of the fire alarm her cookies would set off. The landlord, but god knows when he would show up. The man didn’t really seem to like Charlotte after the leak she had in her bathroom a few months earlier.

None of her friends had a key. None of her neighbors had a key.

Wait…

Charlotte looked at her left, at the door of the one neighbor that might be able to help her. They’d never spoken before, but they had exchanged friendly smiles while passing in the hallways. Despite that, Charlotte still knew a few things about her neighbor.

Her name was Floor, according to the mailbox in the entrance hall. Floor had at least one cat, a grey one that had managed to escape into the hallway on several occasions. Floor was an exceptionally beautiful woman, but most important of all, Floor was a strong woman. Literally. Charlotte had seen the boxes her neighbor dragged towards her apartment when she moved in 2 months earlier, and those had looked anything but light.

Yes, Floor would be able to help her.

Charlotte knocked on her neighbor’s door, praying to any god that was willing to listen that Floor was home. Her cookies were running out of time, and this would turn into a live or burn situation if she didn’t act fast. She stared down at the door while she waited for an answer, as if it would speed things up.

It wasn’t long after her knock that Charlotte heard footsteps approaching the door. She heard the door being unlocked from the inside before it opened and Charlotte was greeted by Floor. Or rather, Floor’s breasts that were just below her eye level. Had she forgotten how tall her neighbor was?

‘Ehm, hi?’

Charlotte snapped out of her haze and looked up. For a second she just looked at the beautiful woman in front of her, then she remembered her emergency.

‘You need to save my boobies.’ Charlotte blurted out. ‘My cookies, I mean my cookies. You need to save my cookies?’

‘O-kay…’

‘I was baking Christmas cookies, but I locked myself out of my apartment and if I don’t get in there soon they will burn. So… I kinda need you to break down my door.’

‘You want me to break down your door for cookies?’ Floor asked amused.

‘I just really need to get in there.’

A chuckle sounded as Floor disappeared into her apartment, reappearing again half a minute later with something in her hand. Charlotte didn’t question it. She guided Floor to the door of her own apartment and frowned at what happened next.

Floor sank through her knees, kneeling in front of the door and examining the lock. She stuck whatever it was she was holding into the keyhole, rumbled around with another something in the lock, and pushed open the door just a few seconds later. Charlotte looked at her neighbor in awe while Floor got up again.

‘Did you just…?’

‘Save your cookies? Yeah, I think so.’

Her cookies! Without another word Charlotte stormed into her apartment and rushed over towards the oven. She yanked open the door and let out a big sigh of relief. There was no smoke to be seen yet, and her cookies had a beautiful golden color. Carefully she took them out of the oven and only then remembered Floor was still standing at the door.

‘Oh! Thank you so much! You saved them! I would offer you a cookie but they really need to cool down first.’ Charlotte said. ‘I can bring some over later?’

‘I would like that.’ Floor smiled ‘Oh and, Charlotte?’

‘Hmm?’

‘If your boobies ever need saving, I think I can also help with that.’

The 21st of December was awfully late for a tour to still be going. While everyone was getting ready for Christmas and buying last-minute presents, the members of Delain were more focused on playing their last shows of the year. Just 2 more shows, then they could go home.

Some musicians were having a harder time than others these days. Martijn and Otto missed their children, while Timo and Merel claimed to not really care about Christmas. Claimed. Until Floor and Elize had marched into the backstage with boxes of Christmas decorations and cookies. Charlotte swore she saw Merel’s eyes light up instantly.

Delain’s second to last show happened to be in Gothenburg. The two other singers, who both happened to live in the area, had made it their mission to cheer up their friends while they were away from their families. Elize had baked cheerful cookies, and they both collected their spare seasonal decorations. Floor even managed to bring an entire Christmas tree.

Everyone was caught up in friendly conversations except Merel, who seemed to have found a personal mission. Charlotte watched her from the corner of her eye while she and Otto were trying to catch up with Floor. The tree, like most, towered over Merel once it was set up. Fake snow already adorned the branches, but it was still a sad sight without other decorations. Merel started rummaging through the boxes Floor had brought, dragging the right box over to the table next to the tree once she found what she was looking for. One by one Merel hung the decorations in the tree, quickly transforming it into a real Christmas tree. The decorations were mostly black and silver, with a stray pink ball here and there. It was a pleasing image, but not nearly as pleasing as what Charlotte saw happen next.

Charlotte bit her lip, trying her best to not start laughing at what was happening in the corner of the dressing room. Floor noticed something got her friend’s attention and turned around to see what was going on. A snort sounded, and she too did her best not to laugh when she saw Merel struggling to get decorations on branches that were just outside her reach. The guitarist stood on the tip of her toes, trying to hold on to the wall for balance, and even jumped to reach the branches. She never reached them.

‘Maybe you should go and help her.’ Charlotte suggested.

‘Why me?’

‘Because if you don’t go, Merel will start using her puppy-eyes and I won’t be able to say no. But I still have a show to play and you don’t, so go.’

Floor rolled her eyes, but still made her way towards the struggling guitarist. Without a word she grabbed Merel’s waist and lifted her just enough to reach the branch she was aiming for. Merel squealed at the unexpected movement, but eventually smiled when she could finally get the decoration in place.

‘Do you need help with the rest as well?’ Floor asked after putting Merel down again.

‘Maaaaybe?’

Floor smiled and turned around while bending her knees, signing for Merel to hop on. Merel got the hint and placed her hands on Floor’s shoulders before jumping. It took several attempts, but eventually she got settled. This was the perfect height, as she now could reach both the remaining decorations in the box, and the empty branches of the tree.

It was only 10 minutes later that Merel was able to place the star on top of the tree. She climbed down from Floor’s back and looked up at her masterpiece.

‘Perfect!’ Merel smiled. ‘That deserves another Christmas cookie!’

‘Agreed, I haven’t gotten one yet.’

The pair turned their attention to the container with cookies, their smiles disappearing as they found a nearly empty box. Charlotte sheepishly looked at them, a few stray crumbles still visible on her shirt.

‘I didn’t know you hadn’t had one yet, Floor.’ Charlotte apologized. ‘But I swear I didn’t eat all of them!’

‘There’s only one left!’ Merel said as she pulled the box towards her. She reached in to grab the last cookie, but Floor was faster. Merel wasn’t having it, not this time. She grabbed Floor’s wrist inside the container and locked eyes with the singer. ‘I’ll fight you for it.’

Floor looked at her with a risen eyebrow. For a second she seemed to consider it, then she shrugged and let go of the cookie.

‘How do you want to do this?’

‘Rock, paper, scissors?’

Floor didn’t answer. She just balled her fist in front of her and looked at Merel while waiting for her to do the same. This was going to be fun.

In the first round Floor’s Rock beat Merel’s Scissors, making the guitarist that bit more frustrated and determined. Merel won the second round, her Paper beating Floor’s Rock. A tie, with only one round left, and two players who were very determined to win. By now they had also attracted the attention of the other musicians in the room, all curious as to who would get the last cookie.

Floor already knew who would win. She wasn’t just going to let luck get between her and the cookie, that was for sure. Merel started the countdown, and it was then that Floor used her height-advantage against Merel.

‘Rock, Pap- Hey! What- No!! You cheater!!’

Floor leaned down and easily picked up the guitarist again, gently throwing her over her shoulder. The room was filled with laughter as Floor moved towards the container again and grabbed the last cookie before taking a bite.

Starting a christmas party with her head in a toilet seat wasn’t the proudest of Sharon’s moments. Neither was the fact that some of the vomit had gotten on her very expensive shoes aaand that she had done it at her best friend’s place. 

She really should have been eating something before she got here. 

Wiping her face and shoes with candy cane covered toilet paper, Sharon flushed down her mess and got up to check her face in the mirror. 

Makeup was simple and light, a far cry from the dramatic look she would need. The one that had drawn the reason for her distress in the first place. 

“Sharon, did you die in there?” came the words followed by a knock on the bathroom door. 

Floor, always the concerned and kind one.

“It’s open!”

Trying to sneak in as quietly as possible and closing the door, Floor scanned Sharon from top to bottom to make sure she was okay.

“Appetizers, Sharon! They’re there for a reason!”

Leaning her forehead against the mirror, Sharon let out a breath as she let the chill of the glass calm her 

“Did you know that she was coming?”

Leaning back, she saw how Floor’s face fell.

“I did not. She must have heard it from someone.”

“Ugh, can you just kick her out?”

Placing her hand on Sharon’s shoulder, Floor gave it a squeeze and caught her eyes in a sympathetic look.

“It’s been 6 months, Sharon.”

“6 months of not banging Tarja! You know how long that is… is…. is… long!”

Sighing while opening a cupboard to reach for the mouth wash, Floor measured the right amount before giving it to Sharon. 

“You broke up for a reason.”

“But fuck, she’s hot though.” Sharon said before tilting her head back and letting the mouth wash swirl in her mouth and spitting it out when she was done. 

“I’m gonna go out there and get her back!”

“Sharon, no!”

Sharon, with her head buzzed and heart fuzzed, only hit her head twice on the door as she made her way out of the bathroom, her feet on a mission. 

“Taaaaaarja!”

Sharon swore that she lost her tongue trying to roll that sexy r in Tarja’s name. Or maybe it was just the vodka shots numbing her face. 

Walking down the narrow corridor, Sharon could feel how determination filled her. It would be romantic as hell to get your girl back on christmas, she would spoil Tarja with presents and kisses and orgasms. Preferably all at once. 

“This is not gonna go well.” Floor said between clenched teeth, gently guiding Sharon so that she didn’t destroy her christmas decorations. 

“Watch me Xena!”

Sharon had entered the living room, eyes taking in the blurry decorations, food, and drinks. Was that Tarja on the couch? There were too many people in here and they were all staring at her. Elize, Charlotte, Tarja, and Merel all looked concerned and amused. Especially Merel. That one always appreciated drunken shenanigans. 

“Sharon, you okay? You’ve been standing in the doorway for a while.”

Sharon tried to zoom in on Tarja but just keeping her eyes open was an achievement. She knew who was sitting on the couch, just not where. When she knew where Tarja was she would dive into her lap. 

“She’s pretty out of it though.”

“Merel!” Charlotte said shockingly and hit the laughing blonde gently on the arm. 

What Sharon failed to see though was how angry Tarja became with each minute that passed, how her hands clenched together until they were turning white.

“Tarja! I have come to take you back!” Sharon yelled a little too loudly, causing Floor to step in front of her and trying to shush her. 

“Oh don’t shush me, go back to Charlotte and flirt with her until you get into her pants!”

Turning as red as tomatoes, Floor and Charlotte looked at anything but each other as Tarja put down her drink and got up and stormed towards Sharon, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway.

“What the hell are you doing?!” 

“Hello beautiful.”

“Do not ‘hello beautiful’ me! What was that in there?! You get drunk and scream my name and think I’m gonna take you back just like that?!”

Having some difficulty following what Tarja was saying since she was so close that Sharon could smell her perfume, Sharon had to blink a couple of times before she could process the words being thrown at her. 

“That’s… yeah…”

That was clearly not the right answer as Sharon could see how tears began forming in Tarja’s eyes, sobering her up slightly.

“You broke up with me, remember?”

It all hit Sharon’s chest like a ton of bricks. 

“Said that you weren’t looking for something serious and that we should just end it.”

Sharon felt completely sober and stunned as it all came back to her. She had started to fall for Tarja, so deeply that it scared her to her core. 

“Tarja, I’m so so-”

“Well, it’s too late for that now. Looks like all you needed was alcohol to be able to apologize.” 

Tarja wiped at her eyes, nothing stopping the downpour as she turned away from Sharon.

“I’m leaving.”

“I changed my mind. Tarja, please…I… care so much about you.”

Not even sparing Sharon a glance, Tarja went to grab her coat and purse before putting on her shoes, apologizing to Floor and the others for leaving and wishing them a pleasant evening as she went.

“Tarja…” 

Sharon felt how her chest was being ripped open, air stolen from her lungs as she watched Tarja grabbing the handle on the door, looking back once more at the other woman.

“I did love you.”

The cold air hit Sharon’s tear stained cheeks as she watched Tarja go, the door slamming and knocking Sharon back. 

Building a gingerbread house was all about precision, scale, and patience. A fine hand to measure the right amount of ingredients and put them all together, cut the right shapes, and carefully glue them all together. 

Tarja had made gingerbread house making into a fine art, buying every possible decoration she could find to perfect the tradition. 

Her wife, on the other hand, was only there to eat the dough before it got swept up by the oven. 

As Tarja rolled out the dough she could feel Sharon’s eyes carefully studying the best piece to grab. 

“Sharon!” 

Quickly taking her hands off the counter, Sharon huffed as her eyes met her wife’s.

“Oh come on, I didn’t do anything!”

Grabbing the rolling pin just a bit tighter, Tarja kept her eyes on Sharon until the dough was near the perfect thickness to start putting the stencils on it. She saw how Sharon once again put her hands on the counter in the corner of her eye, fingers pretending to wipe invisible dirt off the surface. 

“Can’t you check on the ov-”

“Oven is ready!”

“What about-”

“Honey, you’ve been at this for hours. Me and the baby are getting impatient.”

Looking down at the very prominent baby bump that poked out of the shirt Sharon was wearing, Tarja smiled brightly and put the rolling pin to the side, grabbing a stencil and putting it on the dough before grabbing a knife. She was going to start with a traditional house and then move on to a christmas tree, santa’s sleigh, and finally some candy canes. The thought of doing all of this with her own children made her chest swell. 

So distracted by her thoughts, Tarja failed to notice how half of a wall disappeared, followed by the chimney. 

The front of the house had been carved out, carefully placed on the baking sheet and waiting to be baked. That’s when Tarja noticed how one of her piles were missing, her wife frantically chewing away next to her. 

“Sharon!”

Trying to look as innocent as possible, Sharon gave her best smile and dipped her finger into the bowl of royal icing instead. 

“Can you not?!”

“Oh come on, it’s the cravings and I can’t help it!”

Slowly inserting her finger into her mouth while never leaving Tarja’s face, Sharon sucked the digit clean as Tarja felt her entire face flushed hot red. 

No, she was on a mission. And that was to complete her house… and sleigh… and whatever else she had planned. And not focus on that one finger going in and out between soft lips.

“We aren’t going to have anything left to build the house with if you keep eating all the gingerbread.” Tarja managed to get out in her flushed state, a look of disappointment crossing Sharon’s face as she leaned back against the counter behind them. 

“Fiiine, I’ll behave.”

Not exactly convinced by her wife’s words, Tarja turned back to what she was doing, her fingers reaching for the stencil for the roof when to her utter horror, the rolled out part for the roof was nowhere to be seen. 

Turning sharply and seeing her wife already running out of the kitchen, or more like waddling, Tarja rolled her eyes affectionately as she ran after her. 

“So, how did this happen?”

The clicking of the nurse’s pen seemed to echo way too loudly in the small triage room, the woman giving away no emotion as she scanned the very apparent injury of the person in front of her. She must have seen a lot, Merel mused as she began pacing. 

“We… we were putting up christmas lights and… she fell on top of me.”

Acknowledging the words with a small hum, the nurse moved her fingers with ease across her keyboard. She probably handled cases like this daily, two dumbasses just trying to help each other decorating and then suddenly the ladder started to wobble and one of them was afraid of heights so that person froze and lost balance and then the second person who the first person had a massive crush on tried to be a nice ass person and tried catching the person falling and suddenly there was crack and the nice person was screaming on the ground and the dumbass drove to the hospital and tried not to throw up because one of the nice person’s fingers was pointing in the wrong direction.

It was a mess. 

“Okay, I’ll ask you some questions while I put your information into our systems.”

Charlotte, the very nice person, held her injured hand as far away from her as possible so she wouldn’t accidentally look at it. 

“So when your girlfriend fell on top of you, did you hurt anything other than your finger?”

Feeling how the term thrashed her heart around like crazy in her chest, Merel choked on the air she was inhaling as she waited for Charlotte’s reply. 

“Just some pains here and there, but nothing as serious as my finger.”

If Merel’s mind didn’t feel absolutely fucked before, it sure as hell did now! 

------------

After x-ray and a whole lot of waiting and poking and crying, Charlotte was finally resting peacefully on a bed in her own room, an IV pumping morphine into her veins. 

They were waiting for a doctor to come in and reposition the dislocated finger, the x-ray showing no fractures or abnormalities other than the dislocation. That was the ring finger. The middle finger on the same hand had a fracture in it. 

Even after knowing that everything would be fine, Merel could not stop pacing. She could still hear the crack and the scream in her mind. 

“Sit down, you’re giving me a headache.”

Quickly wiping away the tears still pooling in her eyes, Merel grabbed the visitors chair and sat down on Charlotte’s right, not wanting to be close to the mess she had created. 

Charlotte looked tired, the smiles and laughter from earlier now seemingly a distant memory. The lights coming from the many decorations that Charlotte had insisted on putting up had reflected so beautifully in her eyes. Merel couldn’t shake the thought of waking up and seeing those eyes every single day and the nurse’s comment only made her want it even more.

“I’m so-”

“Don’t!”

“Charlotte… just...I… I hurt you.” 

“It was an accident.” Charlotte sat up slowly as her eyes scanned the other woman’s face, filling with warmth and making Merel’s heart rate speed up. 

“I know, but it doesn’t exactly make me feel better.”

Taking Merel’s hand into her own, Charlotte moved her fingers up Merel’s wrist and forearm, creating invisible patterns as she figured out what to say. The feeling was hypnotizing and calming.

“You would have hurt yourself even more if I hadn’t been there to catch you. Besides, I wouldn’t want my new girlfriend getting hurt.”

The knowing smirk along with a wink thrown her way made Merel turn into a deep shade of red. 

Charlotte’s touches grew bolder as her hand made its way up Merel’s biceps, shoulder, and finally settled on her cheek.

Merel felt her skin prickle where Charlotte’s hand had been, breaths coming out ragged and strained.

“Do you mean it?”

Wetting her lips before leaning in, Merel mimicked the other woman and closed the distance between them.

There was a knock on the door, both women springing apart, giggling nervously as the doctor walked into the room.

“Hello Charlotte, time for more painkillers and reposition?”