#ocean excerpt

Character Moodboard: BENJIE || Give My Love to the Ocean

The gaunt-faced boy was little more than a ghoul, white knuckles bouncing on his bony knees, sitting diligently in front of my desk. Calling Benjie a boy was misleading--he was pushing 19, had more fake IDs than I did student loan debtors, and undoubtedly had more experience with a gun than I did despite all the hours of hoop-jumping and training my carrying permit required. 

He usually looked like this: sickly and trembling. Benjie had perfected the frightened, trembling composure of a mouse tangled in the lion's jaws. Not to say the mouse was defenseless--just that it did a good job of putting on a show, which is all you can ask of prey. In all the times I saw Benjie over the years, and there were many, I was never certain whether he was actually that pitiable, or if he was one of Hollywood's missing stars.

He mumbled something. Too quiet to make out: barely more than a rasp of breath. It sounded a bit like ‘I fucked up’.