#occulteaism

I recently realized that i have, without realizing it at first, kind of been undergoing the process of Nigredo! That is to say, the alchemical, self-transforming process of identifying and understanding one’s own flaws. I’ve been trying to draw my negative emotions to the surface to come to terms with them, and look at what I can let go of and what I can refine.

A couple of things I’ve found out recently have helped with that! I’ve found that my elemental affinity seems to be Water, which has helped me put a lot of things in perspective. I’ve been trying to not only embrace my primary attribute more by using water in my spells (like submerging my sigils in water to activate them), but also to find how to balance Water with the other elements that my life seems to lack, like Fire.

To keep with the Water element, I’ve also been researching some water elemental animal spirits I can channel to help me with my magic! The otter was the first one I looked at, but I’ve found myself identifying most strongly with the octopus. The octopus is an immensely complex spirit representing attributes as diverse as will, reason, focus, strategy, mystery, illusion, defense, and magic. The octopus also comes with general water attributes like psyche, emotions, and I believe also healing!

In addition, the octopus — with its ability to detach limbs to distract predators — represents something like the discernment of what to let go and what to keep, which I think will be very helpful for undergoing Nigredo. I’m going to analyze what of myself needs to stay and what needs to go, and try to cope with it by remembering that the octopus regrows the limbs it detaches: things that I let go of are still a part of me, and can be re-integrated later.