(cross-posting/pasting from discord. we were talking about why our YWs killed Uldren/how they felt about it)
under cut for the sake of others' dashes. some bits about Nayia Siqem and how she specifically was fucked up during Forsaken
anyways. personal canon is that Nayia pulled the trigger so Petra wouldn't have to live with killing her prince. headshot, guaranteed death, as painless as she could make it
as much as it started out as revenge by the time she killed him it was. very much a mercy killing
(at least in her eyes)
k hold on {pasting note, i swapped from a general crow/uldren chatter channel to the channel for my characters at this point}
re: Nayia not wanting to be the Young Wolf
Cayde let her get away from all of that, because he *got* it
so after Uldren killed him, she's pissed for multiple reasons, mad with grief, and she realizes that Uldren is a *threat*
but by the time she has him beaten, layed out on the floor of an alter, his mind broken and body already failing him? she's long realized that there's things at play far beyond two grieving people's own vendettas
and he *is* dying. nearly incoherent, obviously manipulated by *something*, half-blinded and chasing after something claiming to be his sister. he's got obvious corruption from the Darkness, and he barely seems able to *stand* on his own
so she gives him the only help she can, at that point. she kills him. and she shoots before Petra, because she *knows* that living with her Prince's death on her hands would break something in Petra
and she also. *knew* Uldren, to some extent. both in her first life (and she will *never* forget how shocked/betrayed he seemed, that she was Awoken, the first time she spoke, the first time he learned her name), and in dealing with him as the YW. He was cocky and arrogant and acted like he knew better than you, yes, but to let his people die -to *kill* his people- that wasn't him
i know i don't always keep it in mind but Nayia is very much a reluctant hero. she was a *medic*. her focus in the light is on supporting her team. she doesn't want to be the one spearheading all of these campaigns, and she doesn't want the fate of humanity resting on her shoulders
the 'thin line' lore is. ough. with Nayia. because she *has* support. she has her ghost, and her wife, and her clan. but she can tell that she's walking that thin line, and she feels like she can't *tell* anyone about it. because she's supposed to be the paragon of a Guardian. and if she falls to darkness? what will that tell the rest of them?
she's even closing off from her fireteams, around this point, despite *knowing* it's a bad idea. and most of these people have known Cayde for longer than she's even been alive! shouldn't she be talking to them about this?
but she can't bring herself to. and the shame just drives her further back in to her shell






