#observerseries

This has got me thinking about how we can be more expressive with each other. Or more focused interaction. If we’re going to live with this for some time i want to figure out how to change it to resemble the old normal or to keep ppl connected. I also can‘t let my Observer Series just die like this lol. Making a note so i can see how we’ll change in the future.

I love moments of hearing something a stranger mutters under their breath or to the general public but sometimes no one reacts or maybe they didn’t hear them. I always turn and let them know that i heard them and give them a reaction. Its like a nice moment of connection just btwn the two of us; a secret btwn strangers that disappears as soon as we part.

I didn’t know at the time but those were really rough but happy years for our family. Seeing these families in that apartment complex made me wonder what story they will end up telling their kids in 5, 10 years? Will they look back on their years of studying in frustration or will they feel accomplished and proud of how far they’ve come? Will they reminisce like i do thinking of how simple and joyful these moments were?

I started laughing out loud and the woman next time me was cracking up as well. We ended up talking about how refreshing this guy was and how maybe he was a frustrated musician. Whoever he was, he had made our day.

My heart softened hearing his apology again. By him coming to me to apologize twice made me see my students in a different light. They’re truly kids. They’re barely beginning to understand who they are as a person and learning how to properly interact with others. They will say and do things that they don’t actually mean or intend negatively and the thing is, sometimes they don’t know why they do some of the things they do. I’m glad that day I didn’t respond with something sassy in return to his bcos who knows what he wouldve thought of teachers in the future? How much respect would he have lost knowing that adults don’t handle problems any different than kids do?

The other day i saw a man get on a train, then shortly after, a couple stops later, a girl gets on the train and then i realize the two were a couple. It was cute how they must’ve planned to get on at different stops but the same train. They got off together of course.

One night when it was raining, i saw a boy handing a bag full of bread to a homeless man living on an abandoned step. The man was thanking him, trying to show him how grateful he was for all the bread but the boy looked like he didnt want to be thanked and ran off quickly holding his skateboard. I ended up walking the same way as him and he just looked so free spirited— running every now and then, switching btwn cruising along his skateboard and sliding across the rain covered road. i was smiling so hard bc i was this proud stranger who knew the good deed that he did. That day my heart softened a lot more for this city. I nvr liked the ppl bcos it was too messy to know them. The how in finding themselves on these streets, the why in living their life in this state, the what for what do you do about it? My heart was so tired of trying to know them that for some time i refused to acknowledge them for fear of them creeping into my heart and tugging at my feelings. Fear of being exhausted of my emotions. But nowadays my heart pangs when i see even one person being ignored. Im still not good at acting upon how i feel but im getting there. I feel myself growing up.

- Sitting at the back of the classroom is a powerful position. You see everything the teacher sees— and more. You see every computer’s screen, who’s doing online shopping, who’s messaging their friends, who’s got their phone out under the desk. The kid in front of me picks off a piece of lint from the shoulder of the girl in front of him and looks caringly at her. The guy near the window takes a puff of something from his pocket when the professors not looking, breathes out the smoke and starts answering questions like he’s not high.