π΅οΈββοΈπΆπͺ !
learn more about your favourite shield gorl! π©΅
π΅οΈββοΈ - how often does your muse think about death?
regularly enough; more so in the sense that she's going into situations with caution in mind bc it could very well lead to her death. as guildsworn, while her line of work isn't as dangerous as some others, there's assumed risk involved. she's very aware that the people she protects probably have an abundance of wealth people like herself are trying to get ahold of, and by association, she may become a target herself. after being infected by the tadpole, she thinks about her own death more frequently than she had before simply bc of what illithid tadpole infection means: ceremorphosis. she's treading on unknown ground, and everyone's fear of transformation and death definitely impact her. she's also struggling with mental health and recent traumas, so that doesn't really help her from constantly thinking about death! lastly, her encounter with the tyrrans adds another log to the fire, and the encounter affirms that capture by the church spells her death. she isn't going to allow that to happen! however, as laera's quest progresses, along with her abundance of luck and bettering mental health, she comes to not focus so much on dying, except for when reasonably dangerous situations.
πΆ - what lie do they tell themselves to survive?
survival is at the centre of what keeps laera moving, fighting. while it may not entirely be a lie, as much as it is senseless, she will tell herself the murder of the priests from her abbey was necessary to regain her freedom. when she's confronted by this, she justifies her actions as somsone who was, essentially, held prisoner by the local clergy. only does she think about this when it's relevant, such as when she encounters the tyrrans at the tollhouse, or in act iii. otherwise, it hardly, if ever, crosses her mind. it's interesting to see her confronted with this information, that what she did was senseless and cruel, bc in her mind, laera really does believe her actions were required. her resentment for the people that she views stripped her of her personhood extends to everyone from the abbey, even if they had no direct involvement. is she wrong? yes! but the way she sees it, their deaths were the gateway to reclaiming what was stolen from her.
πͺ- who would they abandon if forced to choose?
she wouldn't. if it ever comes to a point where she's forced to choose between the people she cares about, she would honestly rather face those consequences than make that choice. it violates one her strongest core principles: her loyalty. laera is loyal to a fault; the people she loves will always have her protection, support and love. she holds the people she cherishes close. from having no one for a majority of her life, to people that she's gone through adversity with, fallen in love with, grown with, she is going to ensure their safety and well-being, full stop. clarification though: maybe the singular exception is if she's forced to choose between parties where their morals and values are in direct conflict with her own.
