#oafishness

I am a Minor Oaf for an unfortunate chair incident in college, so I just need one more oafish act to go the distance, such as

walking into a very clean window pane

falling down an elevator shaft

hitting your thumb with a hammer

knocking down something precarious by sneezing (house of cards, for instance)

being crushed by a falling anvil, safe, or piano

tripping head first into a garbage can

being hit in the face with a pie (caveat: pie must not have been thrown with humorous intent)

having a window fall on your fingers

being dragged along by a car after getting an article of clothing caught in the door

mistaking a lit stick of dynamite for a birthday candle or cigar