#o k.

COOPER CRINGES as the real tears begin to fall, he hadn’t meant to burst into tears at all, but he’d only just realised that this was going to be the first christmas without family. it had only just dawned on him that this was the start of a future that he had to forge for himself, that suddenly at sixteen he had to grow up. that there’d be no more family gatherings, no more holding his breath when mom and dad walked into the room, no more pocket money, no more vacations. no more parents. 

he knows in time that it’ll get BETTER, but right now all it does is hurt. they kicked him out. “they hate me.” it stings ; biting at his heart as if he’d done something gravely wrong to deserve it. “they actually hate me josh, and now i have nothing. i have nowhere anymore – and i’m SCARED. what am i even meant to do?” i’m a burden, a damn burden.

he STANDS still, in the middle of the room, as josh just looks at him, and he wonders just how pathetic he looks. ( if its even half as pathetic as he feels, then he must look godawful ) but a moment passes, and josh is pulling him down to the couch, petting his hair with a tender hand and rambling sweet encouragement into the curls. 

it seems to be working. even if cooper cant hear over the sound of blood rushing in his ears ; eventually he listens, or at the very least tries to.

                                                              he’s got you. he’s got you.

                                    but why do you still feel so alone?

cooper’s soon ENVELOPED in the taller boys arms, spread out across the couch in complete silence as the tv murmurs on ; some dull ADVERTISMENT for cheap christmas candy. 

diet coke. 

health insurance. 

a new car.

painkillers.