#nyxathe

Oh look a question I can easily answer if I just rant. I really want to rant, but I'll try not to.

I can't say I don't take any inspiration from existing media because I'm not some font of infinite creativity disconnected from the world. Neat as that might be. But I can say I don't really take from anywhere specifically.

I consume a lot less media then I once did. Don't read as much, watch fewer shows. Actually what do I do? Mmm something to think about. Lots of video games I guess.

So media is a thing and pressured I could probably point at things? But more I think it tropes and themes I pull from. But getting more specific to Nyxathe, and maybe Nexa.

So Nyxathe's one big thing is Apotheosis. I can hardly tell you were I got caught up on that from specifically but I've found myself increasingly annoyed by the near constant portrayal as godhood as a bad thing. Which isn't to say I don't understand, I do very much. Still I've like to see the other side of it, if it exists.

So much so I started building a little, not so little, world where I can create stories for the very topic. Yay world building, but that's mildly off topic.

Maybe I should talk about that someday, but for now back on topic.

So there's different motivations behind wanting to be a god. Nyxathe isn't so emotionally devoid that it is purely part of just wanting to understand. Part yes, not completely. Instead Nyxathe is a deeply traumatized individual that saw a god being and got in to the thought that maybe with that kind of power things could have been different. If nothing else she could do better.

Is she right? Probably not. Who knows if she can even succeed. Still she'll peruse personal power until someone or something stops her.

That drags us to another topic. Corruption/Monsters. In Nyxathe case ties heavily in to her humanity. How far can she take her core goal without becoming a monster? To this point in time I don't think anyone could call Nyxathe more then obsessed, certainly not a monster. But Nyx is definitely corrupted by her obsession. The further she takes her research the more she starts to find the limits of ethical research. It would be really nice if she could just take an animal and do a few things to test a few theories. Or better yet a person.

But in spite of where her thoughts take her she hasn't crossed that line. Yet. Considering her personality I think it's nearly inevitable she crosses that line. Like taking our dear Angel's character Anna. Have I mentioned I love Anna? Anyway Nyx's horror about Anna would last all of a few minutes till she realized how convenient Anna's way of doing things are, and how much more power comes from that route. Given Anna would almost certainly just murder her before she got that far, so not a meeting to be I think.

Still that's lots about dark talk about a character who is otherwise pretty nice to be around. Who's pretty ethical despite how much advantage is her not being. With the right influence she could even solidify her moral stance on research.

That I think displays my real interest in the theme/idea of corruption. Least the mental side of it. The lack of inevitably in it. Few characters/people are doomed from the start. It's a life time of situation and events that lead them. Exploration of that is pretty interesting.

Of course we have the physical side of that. That was decidedly not something I was thinking about when I made Yrys. That's much more a new thing thanks to a few things I played and had a very big 'huh, that's pretty interesting' in such a strong way I needed to explore it. So I came back and start looking at how it could apply to Yrys turned Nyxathe.

Which, very easy. Super easy. Nyxathe's whole manipulation of corporeal aether, particularly her own, was such an obvious avenue to physical corruption. Yay body horror?

Okay. Well this turned in to lots of rambling. Less ranting though so that's good. I don't really want to get in to real world stuff on here no matter how much It shapes my thoughts. I didn't touch on Nexa at all. Rip but this was getting long. One day I'll sit down and do stuff for my catgirl. Also I tied Corruption and Monsters together, and I think that's a mistake, or limiting anyway. But if I go back and rewrite all of it will end up twice as long. Plus I need to sit and really think about that now. Another post maybe.

Tagged by: @riftdancing and @gatheredfates

Quiz here!

Nyxathe Voss

Nicknames: Nyx

Age: Mid to Late 30’s, she isn’t entirely sure.

Nameday: 26th Sun of the Third Astral Moon

Race: Viera, Veena

Gender: Cis Female

Orientation: Pansexual, but complicated. Romantically she really only interested that people that can keep up with her intellectually. Particularly people with heavy magical experience. With a slight lean toward women, or maybe it would be better to say she has a wider attraction to woman romantically.

Sexually she’ll sleep with just about anyone she finds physically attractive if there isn’t an emotional component to it. The only body type she’s outright likely to not find attractive is one of a body builder. Her youth was filled with mostly lithe women so extreme bulk muscle is just off putting to her.

One major catch to all this is someone that wants to have a child with her. Only Viera need apply. She’s not interested in children that life half as long as her at best and likely much less.

Of course this is born from a fear of loss so really it bleeds in to any relationship eventually. Though not to outright rejection beyond children.

Profession: Aetheric researcher, Tutor, Accountant. The later two are simply was to make money to fund the first. The former being her real passion/obsession.

PHYSICAL ASPECTS

Hair: Stark White. Wavy tending toward big curls with minimal effort. Extremely long, well past her waist, though she often keep it pulled up so it appears shorter then it actually is.

Eyes: Pale pink right eye that is slightly clouded. Very light blue left eye. The left eye is her natural color with the right being a byproduct of damage from when she was a child. Sometimes is seen wearing glasses.

Skin: Pale white, extremely smooth. In almost any light she looks like a ghost or at least someone that never sees the sun. Unfortunately for her she honestly just can’t tan at all. A best she gets a slight pink to her tone but then promptly burns with a minute more exposure. Living in Ul'dah is a bit of hell for a number of reasons the sun being one.

Reading all that does she have Albinism?

Tattoos/Scars: None to notice and she’s not exactly shy about her body. Notably not having any scars is a product of magic, in no way natural. Same with the smoothness of her skin.

FAMILY

Parents: Astrid (F) [Deceased] Malcolm Voss (M) [Alive]/ Maria Voss (F) [Alive]

Astrid, Nyxathe’s birth mother. Given birth to Nyxathe in the forests of the Skytay range. Several years later being forced to flee due to a massive fire that presumably killed the rest of the tribe. From there she took Nyxathe south in to Dalmasca and found her self joining the resistance until Nyx was badly injured. With that she took the still child Nyx and fled to Kugane where she found Nyx a magic teach to hone the child’s budding talent and then found herself work suit to her status as a Viera and skills a spy. Leading to meeting Malcolm who eventually brought her and Nyx to Eorzea. Unfortunately a run in with the Amalj'aa lead to her death by Nyxathe’s hands.

Malcolm Voss and Maria Voss, Nyxathe’s adoptive family. Malcolm met Astrid in Kugane during his trading missions from Eorzea eventually hiring her and then building a more personal relationship with the Viera. Eventually he offered to bring the two back to Eorzea with him. Once on Eorzea he introduced Astrid to his wife and officially hired her on a permanent basis. Alas one fateful caravan ride they were ambushed by Amalj'aa and taken captive. Malcolm and Nyxathe survived but Astrid did not. He’d grown close to the teenage Viera, so as a way of thanking her mother he offered to adopt her.

Siblings: Saewara Voss (F) [Alive] Andrea Voss (F) [Alive] Magnus (M) [Alive]

Saewara, Andrea, and Magnus. Oldest to youngest. All the children of Malcolm and Maria born after Nyx had already moved to Ul’dah. Largely she see’s them as siblings but siblings that she has more then a decade on. She was heavily involved in their early educations and are a large part of why she eventually started taking jobs as a tutor for other merchant families.

Grandparents: None living that she’s aware of.

Others: Aside from the family that took her in she doesn’t have any particularly strong relationships with other people. She works with a number of merchant that hire her to tutor their children, but those are all personal relationship. She’s has friends, or is at least friendly, with a few people but no one she’s claim on particular tie to. Part in due to her aversion to loss, but mostly just because she’s so obsessively focused on her research.

Not to say she’s unapproachable, just if you want to make friends you probably need to be able to hold a conversation and not be boring. That and be willing to listen when she start rambling out her latest project.

SKILLS

Abilities: First and foremost Nyxathe is a student of arcanima. In moments of pride she well might even claim to be a master of the art. Pride or not though this isn’t far from the truth. Manipulation of aether has always come easy to her, so much so her mother had her in training at a young age to prevent accidents. Thanks to that field of training she also displays a talent for mathematics, particularly geometry. No surprise considering the importance of geometry to arcanima.

That said her understanding of magic isn’t entirely limited to the one discipline. After all she lives in Ul’dah home of Thaumaturgy. She’d be remiss not to at least learn the basics there. And well Gridania is just over there. The point more or less being that she has a working knowledge of the basics of the other systems. After all her goal isn’t mastery of of one path but instead a holistic understanding of Aether and the manipulation of it. Still she has thirty plus years of study in arcanima, compared to the few years of sporadic study in to the others.

From a practical point this just means Nyxathe could be called a generalist. Healing or hurting are both things she can do in effective measure. That said she isn’t a healer, not in the traditional sense anyway, or even a generalist. Instead she’s hyper specialized in manipulating corporeal aether. Why doesn’t she have scars in spite of her relatively violent life? Unfortunately manipulating a living beings aether can be remarkably deadly if the utmost care isn’t taken and only the most minor changes effected.

Alchemy is another skill she’s invested time in to. At first simply to make her own grimoire and inks. She was constantly experimenting with new designs that it was finally suggested to her to just learn how to make them on her own. She can save money that way. But really that only made the skill a hobby until a few years past when she started to invest more effort in to learning alchemy. She was never particularly open about what she was trying to learn, but like all things that catch her attention she turned to it with pure obsession for over a year before she abruptly stopped and went back to her old research.

Nyxathe can also see aether. Her research would be infinitely harder if she couldn’t. This allows her to check aspecting at a glance, something she very accurate about. In the same it lets her look at other living beings aether, not just her own.

Something Nyxathe doesn't make public, compared to the most of the rest of this information, is that after he encounter so many years ago she discovered she had the echo. Not that she had a name for what she was experiencing, only that she didn’t die and everyone else did. A second effect of that same encounter is that she can summon Ifrit, or well the Egi of him. Though learning to do that was a years long effort later in life.

Hobbies: Research, though calling that a hobby feels a bit like a lie. Still she does so other kinds of research out of pure interest rather then some goal at times.

Swimming, She’s been pretty much obsessed with the ocean since the first time she was on a ship.

She enjoys travel and reading.

She draws on occasion, often trying out new pattern ideas for her spells but other times just geometric shapes or perspective style drawing of whatever she sees.

Cooking. It wasn’t until she lived alone that she realized she was good at cooking and enjoyed it. Of course its often a misused skill considering her obsessive distraction, and at other times just the lack of money.

TRAITS

Most positive trait: Her obsessive drive. It lets her achieve goals that would be nearly unthinkable to someone else in a time frame that is inimical to life. Goals ranging from building a room sized 3D magic circle in her apartment with out any kind of rest over three days. To the goal of simply surviving. The ability to push aside anything that doesn't matter in that specific moment, everything that does not push toward that single goal. Of course once she’s like that struggles to stop and it very much can lead to dangerous side effects, like not resting or eating for three days leading to immediate collapse upon finishing her work.

Worst negative trait: Nyxathe is always a bit emotional, but as her aetheric balance degrades Nyxathe become increasing emotionally unstable. At first simply seeming overly moody. Then beginning to drift to more extreme in to ecstatic bliss that shifts to a frenzy of rage at the drop of a pin. At the start the reactions seem extreme but logical. Eventually though even her logic breaks down. Of course this only happens as her corporeal aether attempts to assert her natural state, something that she manages daily.

Or if magical emotional volatility isn’t a negative trait then I point back to her obsessive drive.

LIKES

Colors: Really all colors, the richer the better. But reds in all forms, a number of her dresses come in rich reds. But since she lacks any real pigment she can pull over wearing nearly any color. She likes gold as an accent color. Purple and gold can be quiet attractive too. She’s not unknown to wear blacks or browns if she traveling or doing other wise dirty work.

Purely for looking though she likes greens and blues. She finds deep greens in particular to be rather soothing to look at.

Smells: She has a complex relationship with the smell of fire and ash. It’s the smell most likely to get an emotional reaction in any case, good or bad. The smell after rain. Vanilla. The ocean, though that is heavily tied to the sound as well.

Textures: The waxy smooth skin of an orange. The smoothness of silk. Cold rough stone.

Drinks: Anything sweet really. Subtle sweetness before cloying taste, but she’s not overly picky. Orange juice is a favorite. Tea, though typically whites teas. She not found of the bitterness of black teas in particular. Given some drinks mitigate that adding additions to mitigate. Fresh water, often times there is nothing more precious then a simple cup of clean, cool water.

OTHER DETAILS

Smokes: Never. She doesn’t see the point. All smoke makes her cough badly and really any burning puts her mind in places she rather not be. It’s less an issue as the years pass but really she’s just not interested in pushing the point.

Drinks: Occasionally, mostly as a social thing. She enjoys clarity of mind. She never really goes out to buy her own alcohol, though she has been given gifts from time to time that she keep at home. She finds the taste of pure alcohol particularly unpleasant so almost anything she drinks is heavily masked if she can help it.

Drugs: Nothing recreational. As with alcohol she enjoys clarity of mind so the mind altering properties aren’t really appealing. Plus she doesn’t really need the risks that come with use. She might be convinced but it’s not something she’d seek out alone.

Mount Issuance: No, not personally. Though she can borrow a chocobo form her families company if she needs one. She’s a trained rider but she finds she enjoys travel by foot if she not in any kind of rush. So more often then not she travels by foot or ship.

Been Arrested: No

Tagged by: @thefreelanceangel and @gatheredfates

A very basic picture for reference.

Nyxathe is pretty aware she is generally attractive and she makes effort to enhance that where she can. She uses makeup rather often, partly to draw attention to certain features but also to add a bit of color to her otherwise extremely pale skin. She's a bit of an oddity for someone that lives in Ul'dah though.

Very tall for a woman in Ul'dah considering most are Lalafel or Hyur. She also doesn't tan at all. She just burns if she spend to much time in the sun. Her eyes are pretty, if mismatched. Full lips, often painted in a pale red to add more color.

But without getting in to more detail as we trail down past her shoulders, yes she's proud. Though she might not admit it. Bragging isn't really her thing. But even without the admission it's easy enough to see that she spends time on her appearance, picks out clothes that flatter her shape rather then hide it. All that leads the suggestion of pride.

Of course few people are entirely narcissistic about their appearance. Does she really find her eyes attractive? After all the right is rather odd. That's closer to something she's learned to accept then outright have pride in. It's a unique aspect if nothing else though.

A small hit to her pride though is her memory of her mother. A small part of her thinks she doesn't quite live up to her beauty. While Nyx knows she's nothing to be ashamed off she does wish she was a bit more. Nyx forgets though that she hasn't actually seen her mother in more then half her life. Her memory is less reality and more a figment. Plus, just maybe, if she ate more she'd get what she wants. Put a little weight on girl. Stop hyperfocusing on experiments and enjoy a cupcake or something.

As for the second question, Not really. One she likes her stark white hair. Not that she doesn't look good in other colors and styles. Plus the white makes taking on any color extremely easy.

But have you ear tired to dye your foot plus long ears without getting the dye in them? It's something of a nightmare. She can do it but it's extremely time consuming. Plus she has another problem. Thanks to her messed up aether her hair grows at rapid rate. So any dye job would be obvious if she didn't reapply almost daily. Which also means long hair styles are a must if she doesn't want questions.

So dying her hair is largely off the table. The ears present another problem though. They are extremely sensitive. She does not like random people touching them. She really doesn't like the degree of pain they experience. So ear piercings aren't really her thing.

The rest of her body is untouched too though not for any particular reason beyond she's content with her appearance. She could probably be convinced to try some piercing elsewhere. Or one day she'll find a piece of jewelry she'd really like to wear.

Tattoo are another topic entirely though. Nyxathe has some skill in Alchemy so she can make her own grimoire. But this has put the thought in her head of applying magical symbols to her skin. She knows some tradition of magic go that route and she's curious of the benefits. She's been considering a nontoxic, but highly conductive ink she could use. A lot of grimoire ink isn't really appropriate for the body though all of it is Aetherically conductive.

So one day she'll turn herself in to a canvas. One that she gets someone to stain with geometric patterns.

But no, not shy. She's comfortable up to just straight up striping down in front of people if it's more expedient, the situation is more important then modesty. They can look if they want, just no touching without asking.

Nyxathe so rarely got to see snow anymore. Ever since mother had died and she'd come to live with the Voss family in Ul'dah. For years she hadn't seen it, instead spending all her time learning and sneaking out to practice. Learn to socialize again, rather then brood in her room.

Eventually she grew older. Taller. Fact she grew over the height of her adopted family rather quickly once she hit her spurt. Plus the with the ears that were rather long even among Viera she found she was bumping in to the chandelier regularly.

Still this new inconvenience came with a benefit. Taller, older. Maybe just old enough to go with her 'new' father on his trips. Often to Limsa, she loved every trip on the boat. The salt spray in her face and her hair whipping back in the wind.

This time though to Gridania. That primordial forest. It certainly pulled memories from before she truly remember. A forest. a mountain. But unlike that place that was home this one was more hostile. Rules. Rules. Rules.

Years later she'd avoid the place as much as she could. Till after the Calamity at least. But for now, for today, she'd enjoy the forest and it's wonders. The snow it brought in particular.

The early morning, the sun not up yet. That chill hanging in the air, the only thing keeping her breath from showing the fire going all night. Still lightly tended by one of the house keepers. Said keeper was likely in the kitchen preparing for breakfast. So Nyx had to sneak.

When she first grew sneaking was hard. Her longer legs made it awkward. She bumped in to this constantly. But a few years or change and the same time to get used to it let her much more capable. She had experience sneaking after all.

Tiptoeing down the hall as quiet as she could. Walking really only on the balls of her feet, something she found more comfortable then one might expect.

If her father caught her there would be questions. Worries. Honestly she just wanted to see the snow. But for some reason she feels a bit of shame at that. Nothing she's willing to long to spend time on at the moment.

She froze a moment at hear movement. Her long ears twitching to hone in on the sound. Just the keeper doing morning chores moving about the kitchen.

She waited a longer moment to make sure, then started moving toward the back door of the building they were staying in. The door creaked slightly, probably from the chill, but she opened it quietly but quickly so no one would have time to even look before it was closed again. A figment of their imagination, if they even bothered to look.

SNOW!

Her bare feet sunk in the white power a chill spreading up her body in an instant. Perhaps she should have dressed more warmly but still it didn't seem to bother her. Instead she sprung forward, half diving in to the increasing pile of snow.

Later she'd get a mouthful from her father about the danger of being alone. Though honestly he wasn't that upset, he understood even if Nyxathe wouldn't explain it to him. He knew that some part of her still sung for the forests of her birth, those snow covered mountains. He had no idea if she'd ever be able to go back, if she'd want to. Neither did she. But for now he'd see if he could makes a bit of time in the snow with his daughter just to soothe her longing for a place she barely remembered.

((Just a little drabble about some moment from her past. Tiptoe made me think of sneaking first. Lots of sneaking in her life. I had a couple ideas with other means but this one appeals most. I hadn't written much about the Voss family, figure this was a good place to poke at it.

Thank you @thefreelanceangel for letting me use her house to play around with gpose. Just a couple of picture I was okay with in my playing around. The blush might be a problem though? I thought it was subtle enough but it really shows up once you start playing with lighting. If anyone has thoughts or comments I could use the help. I have so much to learn about gpose. Like how do I get carbuncle to point in the right direction!? I wanted to take a cute picture with it but it would not cooperate.

I should probably look up guides. Or mods. But boy do mods intimidate me.

TW // Body horror

I have have no idea if this is good. I have so little experience with body horror and I'm not really sure about my writing. But the trigger warning is there for a reason. This is much, much more detailed then what I did earlier. Honestly it could be even more so but I'm only just getting in to writing again.

Everything will be below the cut for obvious reasons. Plus it's 2800ish words so it's modestly long. I want to say I'm proud of it? Maybe? Ask me in the morning.

I don't know if this gets it out of my system though. It was incredible easy to write. I'm not really sure what that says about me. Go look at my previous post if you want something nicer. This is not that.

This is in no way cannon. This is just me thinking through what Nyxathe loosing herself to her aether looks like. It's not even that easy to trigger so I doubt it will really come up to this degree in rp. But it's probably good to have a general idea.

Also @thefreelanceangel. You seemed to want to see something like this. So tagging you so you can make that decision.

Anyway I hope anyone that reads it likes it. Let me know what you think. If you don't read it or can't finish it I don't blame you.