𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟎𝟏 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥
"show don't tell" this. "show don't tell" that. we've all been to english/literature class. we've all seen it. we've all dreaded it, but what exactly is showing and what exactly is telling? i've encountered some teachers that would say the phrase and expect me to automatically know what to do. i had to figure it out myself.
telling is when the writer directly states facts about the character such as their personality, how they're feeling, their relationships with other characters, etc. showing is when the writer describes a scene through sensory details. it's the difference between
I went through a depressive episode.
and
For those weeks, I washed my hair only when the smell of stale oil caused my pillowcase to reek. I worked every day I was scheduled, but I didn't shake fancy cocktails the first. I didn't allow Bobo to touch me, not even in the morning, which was our favorite time to be together. He rested two hopeful fingers on my hip, but I just wiggled myself out of reach. — Kin by Tayari Jones, p. 215
the second excerpt allows the reader to come to their own conclusion about the character's mental state through smell, failure to keep up with hygiene, and anhedonia (loss of interest in things you love to do). trust your readers. they don't need to be told everything. many readers have very active imaginations. telling can kill the imagination.
transitioning from telling to showing is easy. however, like everything else, it requires practice and some patience. the best ways to start showing is through using the five senses and personification. instead of writing
I heard her walking towards me.
you can write
The crescendoing clicks of her heels echoed in the room.
the sentence is simple, and that's the point. sentences don't need to be complicated or complex to effectively paint a scene. don't think too hard about it.
in that one sentence, i used sound, onomatopoeia, and personification. "clicks" is the sound heels make on a hard surface; it's also the thing doing the action instead of the person. "crescendoing" indicates that the sound is coming closer. "echoed" indicates that the room is empty and large.
for showing emotions, the easiest way to do it is by incorporating physiological responses with a metaphor/simile or two sprinkled in. this website has an emotions and emotion amplifiers thesaurus that give you physical signs, internal sensations, and mental responses as a result of a certain emotion. please be advised that a lot of these are, unfortunately, hidden behind a paywall. there is a 2-week free trial, and it's $11 for a one month subscription.
you can also use certain actions to indicate a character's mood. in that case, verb choice is important. verbs can tell you if an action is soft or rough, violent or gentle, and quick or slow. choose a strong verb or a verb that doesn't need an adverb to modify it.
if i wanted to a show a reader that the character is nervous, i would write
She fidgeted with her fingers, using her thumb to rub over her nails. Her eyes flitted from side to side. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. The sound grew louder in her ears. She sucked in a breath almost to the point of her lungs bursting.
if i were to give any more advice it would be to read, read, read. there is a reason why literacy includes the ability to read and write. if you cannot read, you cannot write. read great writers. read bad writers. read novels. read short stories. read, especially, poetry. you can get a lot out of poetry because there is a huge reliance on figurative language and literary devices. poets are also masters at painting scenes in so few words.
happy writing!
