Music was the first effective method of controlling my emotions. In a way that seemed almost magical, I could choose to evoke a response, instead of having responses dragged from me by tormentors (or even loved ones). I could attune myself to be in the space I wanted to be in. Happy. Sad. Angry. It was exhilarating, and it launched a lifetime love-affair with the possibilities of song.
Eventually, I found that I wanted to speak this new emotional dialect to those around me. I wanted others to hear what I heard when I pieced together the sounds, the songs, the albums, in patchworks that could evoke precise thoughts, subtle variances of meaning within the lyrics and choruses. I started with mixtapes, in an era when mixtapes were the lingua franca of friendship, courtship, and group social bonding. That led me to radio, where I spent nearly a decade broadcasting hours of music. I have no idea how many people truly heard me, but I was transmitting a signal, and that is what mattered.
As my life moved forward, I left the town with the radio station, and finding that I missed the ability to transmit the sounds I unearthed, I started podcasting. I built a small audience, and important relationships with a number of artists, and listeners who resonated with what I was doing. It was, I felt, important. However, I found that it was slowly becoming a duty instead of a pleasure. I felt constrained, and that it was time for a change.
Today, as the way we consume music continues to change form, I’ve decided to shed another skin, and in a sense, return to where I began. I will no longer play at being a radio personality, nor will I be limited to a singular theme or musical impulse when I string songs together. I will use my account at Mixcloud to post streaming mixtapes of music that I’m actually listening to, and that I want to share. That said, I think those who loved what I was doing with NUMINOSIS, or A DARKER SHADE OF PAGAN, or even THESKYSGONEOUT, will continue to find much to enjoy. I’m still committed to new music, to ethereal sounds, to mythic impulses within songs, but I want a larger canvas.
So I hope you’ll keep listening. You can find me here:
http://www.mixcloud.com/numinosis/
I’ve already posted three new mixes, and I hope you like them. Thanks for listening.
