#numbinside

I didn’t go cold— the world did. I just stopped trying to burn for people who never thanked me.

I long for love even though it hurts every time. Maybe it’s all just for a moment—fleeting, cruel. I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore, just moving aimlessly through it all. And yet, I’d do it over and over, without hesitation, because I just need you in my life. You say it's over, but you can’t just end this love on your own. It’s not that easy. I’m nothing without this pain—maybe that’s the scariest part. Love was a drug I told myself I quit, but the thrill… it always comes back when the ache fades. That rush, that silence after the storm, it makes me feel alive. I think I’m happy with this pain. Isn’t that pathetic? You pity me, but I pity you more for thinking I need to be saved. Everyone eventually leaves anyway. I’ve cried so much it doesn’t even feel real anymore. I’m just numb now. Hurt over and over again, still lovesick, still searching—like that’s all I was made for. Why am I still looking for love?