Owed Karma ă»â„ă»Toji Fushiguro
Dammit. Just when he thought he would never set foot in a hospital againâafter all these yearsâhere he was.
Down on his knees, head pressed into the side of the bed, clutching the hand of a woman who was more than he ever deserved in a world where he was a villain. He hid away from the blinding white lights, blank canvas walls, constant buzz from medical devices that patronized his mind and the disgusting scent of alcohol only a hospital could conjure up so thickly.
He didnât want to see the world. Didnât want to see you lay there, unresponsive to his voice that cracked every time he uttered the nickname he grew to use more than your name.
âCome on, Sweetheart,â Toji muttered into the thin pad of the bed, âyou gotta still be in there somewhere.â
It was torture to himselfâhe knew the truth but he couldnât shake away the guilt of another life, another woman he cared for, passing away just like that. He couldnât go home knowing you were here, knowing the last breaths you took were in the car when he rushed you to the nearest hospital promising over and over again everything would be okay for your sake.
âJiâŠâ your voice fell out like a soft whisper in the wind, but he heard you. âToji, I-I canât b-breatheâŠâ
His rough hand had moved to cradle yours, bringing it up to his lips to kiss at your knuckles. It wasnât obvious to you, however when he did grab your hand, the faint pulse at your wrist was not mistaken.
âShh, I got you. Iâm going to get you help. Weâre almost there, okay?â
Toji didnât want you to panicâcouldnât have the woman who had brought the peace of meadows into his life again stress more than her body could handle. Those precious eyes that used to sparkle like light touching the ocean waves now clouded with a tick, tick, tick, of a clock that marked minimal time left on earth.
âI love you.â Your voice that was so full of life an hour ago, now dimmed down to a hushed secret.
What energy you had left you used to brush his overgrown hair out his face, admiring the man you were blessed to give your love to these last few years. Instead of warmth, your touch held the weather of fall in themâa chill to Tojiâs cheek.
He leaned into your touch regardless, closing his eyes for a split second, soaking up the last bit of affection you had to offer. When his dark eyes met yours again, a weak smile reserved just for him
âI love you too.â He had said. Iâll always preserve a piece of me for you.
There was impending doom in his stomach, a knot too big to ignore itâespecially when Toji had gone through loss several times before. His first wife, the second wife, and his son Megumi who wasnât dead but was very much an old memory from a time where things were a lot easier the first go around. Now, his son was in the care of someone who was a better role model than Toji could ever be.
He couldnât shake the thought that he deserved this. Toji was a walking case of bad luck. The blood on his hands was infinite. It made sense if everything and everyone that made him feel life was taken away.
He wanted to beg, to cry, to yell for another life time, maybe even an exchange for the tables to be turned where he was the one with a heart too weak. Toji prayed even when he wasnât sure God gave him the time of day. It would be no shock if the devil was the one who heard his silent pleas.
You who taught him how to love again even when he lost it twice, even when the memory of all he had before turned into pain and regret.
Three different women. Three different loves with the same ending.
It was all owed karma and he paid the full price.
A/N: Got the idea from the tiktok trend.
