#nowbutneveragain

Here I am,

holding my quick-witted, dark-eyed lover.

Days spent hundreds of miles from any known faces—

upon the sea, above the creek,

wrapped up in me—

but never again just like this.

Here I am, looking at you.

Searching, memorizing,

remembering every wish spoken aloud or kept shaded.

I pull them back

and give them to you

in gestures and gifts

so you might know you are loved.

Conscious of the temperature,

conscious of your fears

and the commitments that bind you.

Ease is all I wish to bring to you—

and in this moment, I do—

but never again just like this.

I am quick to grow angry with time,

but if we are rich in anything

it certainly would be in hours and days,

months and years,

a decade, a lifetime.

But still, with you, it is never enough.

When we are apart,

I am recalling and documenting every moment.

I am sure I will take refuge in these pages one day—

and I hope you might too.

Of course, it will never again be just like this—

but maybe I am giving us

a fighting chance

by bottling up this present fold of life

in such intricacy.

At the very least…

something to return to,

something to find down the line and rejoice in.

Something of our youth.