#nottexactly

I didn’t look hard enough. I should have been able to find something. I mean, I’m not as dumb as they all think. I thought back then that she might be there somewhere a...a...I’m sorry, I just needed a second. I thought she might still be alive. I was hoping. I don’t think I can forgive that Malfoy guy for dragging me out of that hall. I don’t think I’ll forgive myself for going with him. He’s a twig. Even I could summon a stiff enough breeze to knock him away. I could have fought more. And I didn’t and...another reason not to want to live in reality. I’m not as dumb as they think. I know she’s dead. I know Lawrence Frisk killed her and I know I could never dream of doing the hero thing so I don’t say it. I’m not going to avenge you sweetheart. I’m sorry. You should still be here. You should still be reading to those kids....hell, have one of those kids. Being a mom isn’t as tragic as being a young dad and it doesn’t count if you adopt anyway. That’s cool. Or, I don’t know....you should be in Bali or Peru, having adventures. You should just be, You should be because you were so young and I know people die every day, but they aren’t supposed to be people I like. It’s not supposed to happen,you know? I don’t live a charmed life anymore, Claire-lette. It’s all your fault. 

We go so way back it’s further than time itself, you know? I don’t think we have ever been to Portugal together, you know that? I figured that one out. But you know, it doesn’t matter. It’s just reality. Who wants to live in that? He understands me like....like I don’t even have a comparison because that’s how well he gets me. He never ever judges me either, even when I judge me. Only good vibes. Man, I love Lisbon....the Colin not the city. The city is alright. 

So sad he’d a dad.....wait, but if he’s glad with this...um...fad....there’s still fun to be had...with this glad dad. NAILED IT.

It really does suck though, the whole kid thing. He’s too young to get got like that.

A half written poem I keep forgetting to write the rest of. One day I’ll wrap his hands around my neck and tell him to press a little harder so I remember how it’s supposed to go. 

..Oh, oh that sounded good. I sound so great right now.  I should write that down. ... I can’t find a quill and ....How did that go again? We are a poem and...fuck it. He was a little gone when I first met him. Probably pickled. Missed a few beats of conversation but there was something interesting about him... in that he’s a new face and he was an auror so he was automatically intriguing. Power or mystery or something. But then the Gala--and that was all about my Simon saving me in my hour of need. But then the Hale ball. Being swept away by the man who almost killed me and could do so again, who would throw me in jail if he knew who I was? How could that not do it for you? Especially since Simon has been so disappointing to my memories of him. Of course, I don’t need to play damsel. I could be Luca’s  death...though I’d rather be his downfall--that sounds much better. 

Yes, I’d like to be his downfall....but that does seem like a lot of work for someone who was only half interesting before he pointing his wand at me.

He is the real thing. Anything I could have painted him as, he’s already there and that. He’d be a good...good anything. Too real though. Real enough....it’s annoying. That’s just what it is, with him with everyone. I’m up there in the air, balloon on a string I’m talking, barely tethered....and there they all are, feet on the ground. I could do that. I could be that. I was that, but it was only lead shoes. That’s deep or poetic or something. It’s not. I know it’s not. But Lawrence, here’s the thing. He sees the romance of it--of life and...and the whole journey-- and he sees the holy light mission from on high and he really believes that shit soo much that you can’t see that and not absolutely want to  cut your chest open, rip out your heart, and say, yes, here, use this for some blood magic. That makes me sound fanatical. I’m not and he wouldn’t want me to be. That is...almost the problem. Not quite. There is a problem though and I can’t..I just don’t know what it is. What could fix it. A touch more larceny I think one day but then the next a touch less. More humility or less. More fun. More serious. More something even though he’s got for more somethings than anyone else. It’s just never as right as what you think someone could be.

send 💔 to accidentally tell my muse you hate them during an argument

Teddy couldn’t help but smile, even if the smile was weak. On some level, he knew Victoire was just fucking with him. Or, at least, on some level, he hoped. “I know,” he responded, looking back up at her with a raised brow.

“I never thought that I’d end up like this.”

“Come on, there have got to be worse things than being stuck working for me. You could be working for a complete asshole who doesn’t give you any lunch breaks or time off or anything.”

“I don’t have any friends. All my friends are dead.”

“That’s what happens when you choose the wrong side. I’m surprised you survived all of them.”

“How can anyone sleep?”

“Believe it or not, the sleeping potion market is performing better than ever. Not a bad idea to start investing now. They’re saying dreamless sleep potions are next to be on the rise.”