#notstpd

" ELEVEN puh-please ." feet found himself in front of the fort. her fort. the sanctuary they built together in his room. midst the cold. scarlet river having run its course down pale lips, long since wiped away. however that was of little note. what mattered was her. & she was always worth fighting for. " l-l-let me in. it-it-it wasn't y-y-yuh-your f-f-fault ."

let me gush about people | @notstpd

❛          IT  DOESN’T  FEEL  LIKE  A  YEAR.          ❜          they’d  gone  through  the  motions  in  the  same  way  as  they  had  done  for  will’s  disappearance,   but  this  time,   lucas  had  believed  just  as  adamantly  that  she  was  still  here,   perhaps  even  with  them  to  some  unspoken  degree.          it  was  by  all  stretch  of  the  imagination  an  impossible  feat,   but  logic  had  permitted  the  shred  of  hope  to  expand,   and  return  she  had.          ❛          hell,   it  feels  like  just  yesterday  we  were——          ❜          fighting  for  our  young  and  free  lives.          saving  the  world.          ❛          well.          it’s  jus’  good  to  have  you  back.          ❜

        ❛ It’s day 315. I…I-I had a bad dream, ❜ Mike said, dredging up the words from his throat. His knuckles clenched around the electronic device, turning white. ❛ I couldn’t go back to sleep because I kept thinking about it. ❜ He added quietly, ❛ Thinking about you. ❜ A wave of feelings passed through him. The weight of the walkie talkie solidified the reality he was living in. It remained strange and surreal to be sitting here again day after day, just him and the blanket fort he built and kept up down in the basement. Speaking to crackling strains of static seemed ridiculous, but then, there weren’t many things he had done this past month alone that didn’t fall into that category. His disapproving mother and father could attest to that. Not that Mike cared about their approval. He didn’t care, period. Except...

         The truth was, Mike knew nothing worse in his life than the tragedy that had taken El away from him; nothing WORSE than the guilt that wracked his heart and mind in her absence. Somehow, he suspended the belief that she was dead, holding onto the remnants of fleeting moments that he believed he glimpsed an image of her, really saw her. It helped get him through the day, and to the next, and the next. And yet, a question was forming in his head, more and more frequently, always disappearing before logic could respond. How pathetic was he for continually doing this? None of his friends were even aware of his repeated attempts to make contact with her, the daily routine he had fallen into. How stupid did it make him? When everyone ELSE had moved on. Just when Mike was convinced his body had run out of tears, a light mist coated his dark eyes. Staring down at his lap, he confessed in a huff of breath, ❛ It takes all my efforts just not to drown. ❜

         After he uttered those words, Mike heard a murmur, the sound of it stirring him. Shock swiftly doused and suffused his frame. It was faint but there, like a soft echo, winding its way through a long, dark tunnel, which Mike was seated at the far end of.

          Head tilting, he hastily pressed the walkie talkie closer against the shell of his ear. A need for confirmation surged up, pushing past his parted lips. ❛ El?? ❜ In the hush that followed, a push-pull of HOPE escalated and choked Mike into a pitiable silence. Anxiously, he awaited an answer back from her, instead of there being just --- just nothing!

" IT'S okay, jus-just a sn-sn-snowball ." smile fades. joke mistook. should of been a bit more considerate. another new experience for her. boots travel over white fluff to where she stands. bill stoops down, gloved hands picking up another handful of snow. the projectile is crafted, small & round. the perfect ammo. " see ." he holds it out to her. " yuh-you th-throw it at one another. a game ."

RIGHT

& just like that he's at ease. tension releases allowing shoulders to relax. a victory. however small a victory nonetheless. one that would hopefully move them forward. put the past behind them. 

he had learned his lesson. 

a small smile graces his features, one to reflect his relief. however bill remains put. does not dare to draw near just yet. unsure if it would help or undo what was done. instead smile remains in place & reassurances is provided. it's okay, like i said i'm not mad.