#notscratch

　　she couldn't help but laugh, if only by the sheer bluntness of his line. she hadn't much been thinking about her lips, so much as her hands or nose, but she had been enjoying their walk to say anything about it.

Comforting Words

Employment didn't look too good on Vale Entropy. Throughout their life, they've never been the kind of person to hold a job for exceptionally long. Nothing ever really sat right. Doordashing was okay for a while, but then it was just...not the right thing. Working in a mall? Hopelessly depressing. The brief stint at a burger joint? Vale would rather not talk about that. Jobs came and went and kept changing and nothing ever made Vale feel like they were heard or seen or trusted or even noticed, let alone appreciated. Years of hard knocks lead to this. A job of...assisting a writer!

They didn't exactly assist in the writing thing, they were assisting with plenty of other stuff! They got him coffee! Tried to make him hangover cure after cure! Drove him places! Brought him gifts! Brought him food! All of the allure of doordashing with the added bonus of a hot guy you see every single day!

And sure! Yes! Vale's eyes had bags! They were exhausted! They were late this morning because they had slept in which meant that they weren't able to get Alan's coffee and they had a bunch of missed texts and so then they'd start spiraling and WOW! They could definitely spiral and get that hazy look in their eyes and--

hey… do you want to talk?

@notscratch said: “ Let me love you. ” for beth NOW

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It seemed like at ETERNITY since their relationship began; casual sex, nights of debauchery and drugs and drinking and obsession. But it had progressed into a mutual respect. He was an amazing writer, and her an amazing engineer with a budding writing career. They meshed surprisingly well, but the closer they got, the more defensive she got.

She didn't mean to try and push him away, create issues, or try and disappear from arrangements. She was PANICKING. She was scared. She couldn't quite deal with him leaving, but try as she might, they got even closer still. To the point they practically lived together, cooked together, bought new furniture for his place and set it up.

All it took was one disregard of a date night, the two alone in Alan's flat, candlelight, homecooked food, music, TV, giggles — it had to be that flash of FEAR across her eyes, panic, a deer in headlights, that made Alan grow quiet. His eyes softened, steel as his brows slanted.

Then he spoke.

Beth had to blink, unable to register his words. Her heart began to beat, a jackhammer and loud in her ears as her lungs struggled to keep up. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Her lips parted. Nothing came out for a long moment. Then, finally, a small whisper into the warmly lit living room.