#notnapping

(Background: He skipped nap. He passed out on me at 5. He awoke grumpy af. He only wanted one thing. To nurse. Yes he is over two. Yes we are trying to wean. Yes he screams the loudest and most piercing shrieks of all time. I nursed him. Knew he was hungry for real food though. Attempted to stop and make him dinner. He became inconsolable to say the least.) I …

Held him.

Offered food.

Offered a balloon.

Offered milk. Like, in a cup from a cow milk.

Offered food.

Played some Grateful Dead.

Rubbed tea tree oil on the back of his neck.

Blew bubbles.

Offered food.

Held him.

Nursed him for like a minute.

Offered Cheerios.

Let him scream as I got some things done in the kitchen.

Dropped a few homeopathic teething tablets in his mouth as he shrieked.

Offered food.

Offered milk.

Held him.

Wondered when, not if but when, the cops would come to the door responding to several complaints.

Held him.

What finally worked? Offered his sister his rejected Cheerios. He screamed mine mine mine!!!!

She sat and munched them. I pour him his own plate of the them.

He sat in his chair.

Ate. Ate! Three bites of sweet potato. Three scoops of buttered elbow macaroni. Several bites of banana. All the Cheerios.

Then he was all done like nothing ever happened.

I fully believe I’m left with irreparable brain damage. Like the NFL players with the brain protein being released, all that screaming and angst is surely calcifying my synapses.

Wine.