#notinthislifetime

WHAT?! 😱 A crush on Glorfindel?! 😤 How dare you even suggest such a thing? Me? Have a crush on that radiant beacon of overconfidence?? Absolutely not!! I would rather set myself on fire than entertain the thought. 🔥

I mean, let’s be real. Do you really think I, Lindir—master of precision, the epitome of order, and lover of quiet, tasteful beauty—would ever fall for that glittering disaster? Please. 🙄

The man spends half his time shining like a golden sunbeam and the other half reminding everyone about his "legendary" heroics.

No thank you. I can barely stand the sound of his voice echoing through Rivendell as he tells yet another tale of his "glorious past" with an ego the size of the Entire Undying Lands. 🌍✨

And don't even get me started on his hair. I swear it’s a magic trick—no elf's hair should be that shiny unless they’ve sold their soul to a hair enchantress. 💇‍♂️ It’s unnatural. I’m telling you, he spends more time on his looks than I do on my entire musical compositions. Ridiculous.

Ah, his "charms," you say? Please. If Glorfindel could charm a squirrel, I'd eat my lute. 🎸 Honestly, the only thing he’s good at is walking around like the sun’s been set in his hair and acting as if the entire world revolves around his golden glow and glorious past. 🌟Really*—I swear, if I had a silver coin for every time he’s mentioned some heroic “feat” or “glorious battle,” I’d be so wealthy I could retire in the peace and quiet of a small cave in the mountains. 🏔️

And, truly, I'd much rather spend my days patiently dusting Elrond’s scrolls, listening to the whispers of parchment and the occasional mutterings of Rivendell’s ancient tomes than be trapped anywhere near his golden, glimmering presence for more than five minutes. It's exhausting. Just trying to avoid accidentally stumbling into him at dinner takes more effort than an entire symphony. 🎶

But let's be honest here—his charm? It's about as genuine as a leaf that’s been dipped in glitter. 🌿✨ And as for his looks? Well, I've seen far more elegant elves wandering Rivendell who don't feel the need to blind everyone with their radiance at every turn. I mean, have you seen Glorfindel's “competition”? There’s Erestor, for instance, *a true sight for sore eyes. You want sharp intellect and looks that could cut glass? That’s your elf right there.

Lothlórien elves. Now there’s a group of true beauty that doesn’t feel the need to shout about it at every turn. The way they move, so graceful, like they’ve never had a hair out of place. 🌿 They don’t need golden light to tell you they’re striking, because their presence is the beauty, so much more refined than that blinding sunbeam we’re all subjected to with Glorfindel. 🌞 Honestly, the Lothlórien elves don’t even try to look perfect—it just happens. Elegance, subtlety, mystery. If you ask me, that’s the kind of charm you can’t fake, like Glorfindel does with his constant need for attention.

Now, let’s get one thing straight here—not to be overly blunt... but, honestly, Lord Elrond and even High King Gil-galad are far more handsome than Glorfindel will ever be. 😏

There, I said it.

I could spend a thousand words explaining, but honestly, it’s quite simple. Lord Elrond doesn’t have to try to be regal or attractive—it’s simply his essence that commands attention. That incredible intellect, that understated elegance that flows through him like the waters of Rivendell itself. 🌊 And High King Gil-galad—I mean, come on. Have you seen that dark-haired marvel? He has a strength to him that Glorfindel could only dream of. There’s a depth, a presence about him, that even Glorfindel can’t hold a candle to. 🔥

Not to mention, the way they carry themselves—so calm, so assured. No need for loud entrances or flashing smiles (and don’t even get me started on how Glorfindel’s smile could light up the entire valley... whether anyone wants it or not). 🙄 But with Lord Elrond and High King Gil-galad? They don’t need to light up a room—they just do. It’s effortless. They are the true definition of handsome in a world that often confuses flamboyance with substance.

Do either of them run around swooning over their own reflection every time they walk past a mirror? Oh no. They leave that to Glorfindel, who probably needs a whole army of mirror-polishers to keep his glow intact.✨

So, while Glorfindel continues to flash his golden radiance around like it’s the only thing that matters, I’ll be over here enjoying the quiet, steady presence of elves who don’t need to scream for attention. Elrond and Gil-galad are the real deal. 🌟 And they don’t need to be repeatedly reminded of their charm. It just is. 💅

So no, anonymous, I do not have a crush on Glorfindel.