So I received a news just 30 minutes ago. To one who has the same field like what I have right now, it truly is unbearable. I don't know how one could handle such news to believe that you are on the verge of losing your job in a few months time. 

I never reckon this would happen to me. Though I am aware that I have been some kind of neglecting some stuffs at the office, and that I am clearly aware as well that it might lead to this. 

Maybe it's easier for me because I acknowledge my faults; too bad it came too quick. Honestly, I don't know how to react. If I would cry or what but the only thing that's on my mind is the quote; "When a door closes, another will open." True as it may be, the feeling of doubt is still there.

I can't help but question myself, 'Do I really deserve this?' or 'Do I really accept this?' or maybe 'Is this really what I want to do in life? To just take in calls and let these foreign people yell at me all they want because I am paid to do so?' If yes, will I just let my pride eat me up? Will I just let these people have the control over what I really want to do? Or, will I just be contented because I am paid well but I am working less and most of the time not enjoying what I do? 

Some people would pity me, some would laugh, some would even ask me what I did and how I'm holding up to this kind of scenario. But one thing I am sure of, whatever happens, will happen for a reason. I believe that God placed me in this kind of situation to make me learn something. Also, I am grateful this happened because I have more time to do the things I haven't done for a while, just like blogging or writing and other stuffs.  

I am also in the state of shock, though, given as it may seem, I should not be. Still, this is life, we do have our own ups and downs. Mine just came a little too early and this is the reason why I think I may need a little makeover, a little reflection over what I REALLY WANT in my life. 

After graduation, I told myself, I don't want to go back to the BPO world, since I really can't bear the stress it gave me way back when I was still studying. But here I am, 6 months and maybe more.

With this, I realized, not everything is going to go your way. In the end we all have to learn to put our feet on the ground and give back whatever we had to our creator. I am not really good in writing but maybe with the time that this will give me, this will help me improve.

Sooner or later I will be given the decision as to whether I will be taking calls again or be terminated from work. Tip of advice for myself, not to be too comfortable in anything. Things do have it's own ending and maybe, though I'm keeping my fingers crossed it won't, this might be mine.