#notbeeped

“fuck off,”     the response is harsher than intended, but, in that moment, freddie doesn’t care at all. just wants the other to stop fucking talking as he presses tissues to his nose and hopes to fucking something that it’ll stop bleeding. that the dizzy feeling will subside, because he can’t go back home. won’t. refuses to. he wants to go outside. he wants to be a normal fucking person for longer than an hour and wants to pretend that the moment he steps foot back inside, his mom won’t freak out. won’t scream at him for being careless and reckless and that he needed to take these pills and also these ones and also these ones------  she was overbearing, controlling. only, unlike eddie, his pills actually done something. knocked him for sixth. made him feel sick, dizzy. like a fucking zombie. he can barely think somedays. he breathes, breathes, breathes. lips parted as he gasps in air like he’s dying.     “i don’t wanna fucking go back. i’m not going back.”

glockenspiel song by dog is dead

 𝚆𝙸𝙳𝙴   𝙶𝚁𝙸𝙽   𝚄𝙽𝙼𝙰𝚂𝙺𝚂   𝙰   𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙳'𝚂   𝙼𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷    .      it’s   not   a   suggestion   ,    nor   a   request   .     stay   .    moral   obligation   accepted   without   question    /    with   unwavering   loyalty   .     ❛     𝚊𝚒𝚗'𝚝   𝚗𝚘   𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗   ’   𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝   𝚒𝚝   ,    ❜    &   gingerly   he   reaches   to   tussle   hair   ,      ❛     𝚠𝚎   𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎   𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔   𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛   𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖   𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗   ’    𝙶𝙴𝚃 - 𝙶𝙾 .      ❜

     The thing is he had every intention of leaving, mind already halfway out the door. Only, Eddie was contrary by nature and as soon as Ryan spoke all thoughts of leaving promptly evaporated from his head. “Well, I don’t.” He huffed as though he’d just realized that fact, crossing his arms and plopping down to sit on the floor for good measure. To be fair it’s not like he’d actually wanted to go home, so any excuse, even a childish one is usually welcomed. “I like it here so, I think I’ll stay.” When he looked up it was almost like he was challenging the other boy to make him go, though why this inconsequential hill was the one he was willing to die on he couldn’t begin to tell you.         After a moment, the look melted and he seemed to relax a little into himself. Letting himself lean back on his palms and tilting his head, considering. “Do you want me to leave? You wanna be alone or something?” 

His eyes were focused on the laptop in front of him, just in a casual sweatpants and wife beater. Another great thing of working at home was not having to dress up, and he had been taking advantage of that, but today was laundry day so all his shirts were in the hamper. He was stuck with this for now. Laundry would come once he managed to get a bit of work done.