Alana wars with two natures of self constantly when it comes to Hannibal. She is not above the basic humanity of rage and what it so loudly means. She is not above the desire to get even. It embeds purely in her mind that she wants to hurt Hannibal Lecter very badly, if not kill him, and itโs this nature that causes her to suffer most. She does not want to be so vicious, and itโs not in her to want to hurt someone, but heโs sunk his claws so far in itโs twisted what her true self is. She wants to destroy everything he loves (and how it would sicken her, to know that would also mean to destroy herself), but more than anything she wants to understand him, to make sense out of him. More than anything, she wants him to be quantifiable. Saying there isnโt a word for what he is burns her mouth. She is Alana Bloom and she can understand anything. Half of her wants to make him a test subject, and the other half, the half that is his, the one he has forged of dark fire she didnโt know she had, wants to hurt him until all he can do is scream.