#not valued

Is someone really a friend if they actively ignore you? 

Is someone really a friend if they only actually stay in contact when they need something from you?

Is someone really a friend if they are “too busy” to see/talk to you, but are on their phone all the time? 

There is a famous quote by Mandy Hale “”Too Busy” is a myth. People make time for things that are really important to them”. This leads me to the conclusion that actually 90% of the people I have in my life - don’t actually want me in theirs. 

I have several “friends” who fit the description above. Friends who I consistently try to contact. Who consistently ignore my attempts. Friends who only actually contact me in their time of need, because actually, I will bend over backwards to help those whom I love or are important to me. 

There was a discussion had between myself and someone close to me at the weekend about the meme which went round “if you had to call someone to save your life and if they answer you die, if they don’t you live - who would you call?” The harsh reality is - Only maybe 2 of the people I call “friends” would answer. 

I can tell you right now my “best friend” wouldn’t. I have supported her through having a child. Held her whilst she cried over boys. Held her hand at her grand parents wake. Comforted her whilst she had to tell her siblings that their grand father had passed away. And yet, I know she wouldn’t be there if I called. 

Someone I have helped on numerous occasions, supported through a mental breakdown & forgiven when shes slandered my name. Dropped dates for, cancelled plans for and sat cold at a lake side whilst she spoke her truth and poured out her heart. We spent so much time together and the minute she starts dating someone I don’t here from her for months and she ignores virtually every message I sent - she DEFINITELY wouldn’t answer. 

Another who I have held whilst she has sobbed, supported when her whole world felt like it was upside down, consoled at the memory of a child she couldn’t keep, uplifted when all her exams were a fail - she wouldn’t answer.