Top Posts Tagged with #not ts

I'm sorry I use this blog as a ventblog sometimes truthfully I only do it because ppl acknowledge me and that's reassuring (I love you guys🩷)

#i would get 2 likes nowhere else #lmfaooo #not ts #🩷

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more venting lol

father's day weekend and i get this at work

then I get home and she asks me again and I said no I'm not mad about anything and she said "you know I'm sensitive"

1. I'm not "mad at" you. it's not abt you. you hurt my feelings. you made me cry for like 2 hours. i'm hurt. 2. being "mad at" someone is for 6 year olds 3. I'm way more sensitive I promise and that's proven by this entire interaction bc I'm too concerned abt your thoughts & feelings that i can't bring up when you hurt me 4. why don't I get the "sensitive" treatment why didn't you consider how I might feel last night when you told me I pissed you off and you had so many better things to do rather than deal with me (which you listed later when we were home) just because you were stressed about a date and took it out on me. why am i walking on eggshells for you when you so easily take a wrecking ball to me

eat my butt (i will dwell on this for the rest of my life)

#not ts #tw vent #i don't rmr what my vent tags even were I haven't been on here in so long I just have nowhere else to put this nonsense #🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍#I'm taking showering and taking sleeping meds bc I'm going today all over again tomorrow x1000 #might jump off the mountain #might jump off the bridge into oncoming traffic #but just know that if I do any of that it will be for the dramatics and I will bounce right back up insisting I'm fine #just to not burden other people #<- metaphor or smth idk #i have headache #i burned 4000 cal and only ate 400 #don't do that #i plan to eat a good breakfast tomorrow idk #thank u love u

she also told me i should charge money for the touchstarved fanfic network bc "think of all the people wanting to read that, and you've made it so easy" like i was a tech bro cornering the market i've never cringed that hard at someone I'm close to b4 okay so maybe I'm the only properly adjusted human being in this house

#i took sleeping meds I'll knock out eventually #I just rmred this #not ts

the constant battle of "I'm way too nice I need to be as mean as people are to me" and "the world is already too mean and it needs as much kindness as i can give therefore i'm obligated to be a constantly kind person" guess who always wins.

#not ts #vent #tw vent #anyway now that I've gotten that out of my system maybe I should take my shoes off #I'm so. blank rn #i just would never treat someone the way people who love me treat me #and that fucks me up bc then what even is love. is it really this #bc the love i feel for people is so different than the love people feel for me #and then what does that say. that I'm not deserving of love? oh no isn't that what it always comes back to lmfaoooooo #<- guy who has something intrinsically wrong with them and everyone else can tell #i hope this doesn't sound too nice guy-ish (“i am so nice and full of love why does everyone hate me”) i really do mean i would #break myself for everyone around me #and that's not healthy but also I don't understand why everyone else doesn't work that way too #what even is love bro #update: told my sister the full story and she said it wasn't okay to say that to me like that okay okay maybe I'm not crazy

ALSO ALSO i moved mod applications away from google. they're now here on typeform to make it super super easy :)

#not ts #wwn

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#i'll get the wwn tag page up first ❤️#not ts

i havent slept in 2 days despite a very busy weekend at work and the air mattress I've been sleeping on for the past 4 months just popped

#my actual bed is still at my ex's house with literally all my belongings #my friend was riling up the dogs and jumping on the air mattress to just like. be silly and bother me while I was laying down? idk.#idk what happened but I sat down just now ready to finally HOPEFULLY get some sleep and it's totally deflated #i kinda. just wanna cry #not ts #tw vent #last time this happened to me I slept on the floor and it made my chronic pain debilitating #im already at a point rn sleeping on an air mattress for so long that I have to take painkillers everyday just to. exist #the pain is constant #so this is not ideal or fun #yayyyy

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