#nonbinary time <3

They had stopped by a river and the chain insisted they relax, bathe and splash around- Sky instantly shot the idea down with multiple excuses. It was too cold. They were far too exposed and someone needed to watch.

He sat further away from them all, still wearing a few too many layers as his eyes squeezed shut. It hurt so much. He sat with his eyes squeezed shut for minutes, listening to the others splash around in the water.

He wanted to do that. He just couldn't.

He snuck a glance towards them and he instantly wished he hadn't. He was envious of what he saw.

He hesitated before moving back closer to the chain slowly- trying to be mindful of his body, though not like it mattered as the pain shot through his chest once more.

He took his place next to Legend away from the water.

"Hey Apple." He mumbled, watching Legend glance up from cleaning the swords.

"Hey. You return."

Sky hummed in response as he stared towards the water.

"Just go in. I can tell you want too."

Sky wanted to cry right there and then as he shook his head. He swallowed before he could speak "I wish." He mumbled. "I said I'd keep watch."

A sigh left Legend. "Whatever. Your loss."

The Skyloftian wanted to call Hylia out for this cruel joke. She couldn't have waited a few months to take him, could she?

That night, the Skyloftian didn't bother taking any watches. He just put his bedroll on the outskirts of the camp, close enough that he could still hear them talking at the fire they were setting, but far enough to be alone.

He curled up on the bedroll, his body chest and lungs screaming at him. What a cruel joke.

"So, what were the scars on your chest from Twi?" He heard the sailor ask.

"Oh right! I've never told ya guys?"

"Nope! Kinda why I asked."

"Puttin' it simply, I was born in tha wrong body. This is just 'ow I made it tha right body."

Oh what a cruel joke.

Sky felt the hot tears flow down his cheeks. Oh how he wanted to shout at his beloved goddess for this cruel joke.

"Oh cool! Is there anyone else?"

He could hear a few overlapping voices but Sky couldn't listen. He just tried to force himself to sleep but his body told him otherwise.

He didn't even notice the fact he had started sobbing. His face burned. The sobs got stuck in his chest. He bit down on his hand to try silence the sobs, but it only made it worse.

He hated this.

He didn't hear anyone shuffle to him- he just knew someone had when he felt a hand on his arm and a gentle voice that was usually so sarcastic. "Sky?" It almost sounded wrong. He shouldn't be the one being comforted, he did the comforting. This was so wrong.

He spared a glance to the Vet. Oh, how he hated the look he had in his eyes. Something close to pity.

"What's wrong?"

Sky shot up hearing those words. He knew he'd regret what he'd say but he just couldn't stop himself. "What's wrong?" Sky couldn't stop the venom dripping into his voice. "What's wrong is Hylia is playing a cruel joke."

He could feel everyone's eyes on him.

"I didn't know Hylia could get so cruel. She was cruel to us all but now I know how much of playthings we really are."

"Sky. What's gotten into you?"

"Hylia has no mercy!" He couldn't help but laugh, ripping himself away from Legends hand as he began to pace around the camp.

The chain just stared at Sky. They had never heard his voice have such venom- they had never expected that venom to be directed at Hylia of all things.

"Sky, snap out of it!"

Sky just laughed. "And what? Not tell you how cruel she is? She could've waited a few months to take me. But she didn't." He tore the sailcloth from his shoulders and threw it to his bedroll. He didn't care if it got muddied right now.

The younger members of the chain glanced between each other. Twilight was the first to make a move towards Sky. "Oi, Sky, Chill. Sit down an' breathe."

Those words just set Sky off. Maybe it was who they came from or how cruel it was for him to hear 'just breathe' while he was in so much pain.

"I'll breathe when Hylia stops playing favourites."

The look of hurt almost wanted to make Sky stop. The keyword being almost.

Sky threw his layers off in the mud, on top of his sailcloth until he was left with one. He kept pacing. "Hylia couldn't wait a few damned days to take me! I would've been useless but this is all her fault! Hylia waited for you! Why couldn't she have waited for me?"

"Dad." Legend mumbled.

It worked to stop him, Sky's harsh gaze softening as they met Legends. His son... Oh Goddesses, he'd had his little tantrum in front of his son.

"You're bein' mean. What's wrong?"

Sky's anger towards the goddess bubbled away as he began to cry again, collapsing in the mud. His hands went to his honey blond hair and tugged at it. "This isn't fair- ! She just- I want-" He couldn't form any sentences.

He felt Legend wrap his arms around him and he couldn't take it anymore. He sobbed. He pulled at his own hair. He pulled at the fabric covering his chest.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He coul-

"Honey. Follow my breathing." Legend began to breathe and Sky found himself subconsciously matching the exaggerated breaths.

It went on for a few minutes. Sky had finally calmed down, tears still streaming down his face as guilt made its way into him.

He should've kept it all to himself. He should've at least tried. He should have said nothing was wrong. Why did he snap like that?

"Honey? Can you elaborate?"

"Apple... I'm sorry- I don't know why I just-"

Legend cut him off. "It's fine. It musta been there for a while an' whatever we said musta made you snap."

Sky glanced to the chain, the guilt burrowing itself deeper into him. "I really didn't mean too..." He whispered.

He saw the mismatched tunic of Twilight and the guilt worsened. "We can't 'elp ya if ya don't talk." The kindness in Twilight's voice... Sky didn't deserve it.

"Not even Hylia can help me unless she sends me home." He stated, his eyes looking down at the ground. "We know she won't."

"Why would sending ya back ta Skyloft help?"

Sky looked away, looking to Legend with a nervous gaze.

"If I could explain on your behalf, I woulda done it." Legend mumbled.

"I- just don't know how to explain it." Sky fiddled with the sleeve of his remaining layer as he tried to take a deep breath. He felt pain shoot into his chest and held back a wince. He didn't want to be seen as weaker. He won't let them find out. He can just lie. Who's gonna question him anyway?

"Try ta explain it."

Sky didn't want too, fidgeting under everyone's gaze. "Can we do it alone?" He whispered. "You can tell them once I fall asleep but I don't think I can-"

"Course." Twilight offered Sky his hand. "Want Legend ta come with?"

Sky nodded hesitantly, his chest felt tight again. Tighter than usual. He quickly pulled at the layers around his chest, trying to let his chest expand a little more but it wasn't working.

Twilight guided him and Legend a small distance away from the chain. They were still close and Sky hoped no one would over hear them. He didn't know if he would snap again.

"Now, what were ya on about? Why would Hylia sending ya back ta Skyloft 'elp?"

Jumping right in there. Sky couldn't stop the sad laugh escaping him. "What were you talking about before I snapped?" He didn't want to say the words himself. He felt ashamed for snapping at someone who shared what he's going through.

"Everyone's pronouns?"

"Before that."

"My scars?"

Sky shut his eyes and nodded.

"Why would- wait- you're trans too?"

Sky hated haring those words coming from the Rancher. He should've said it himself. "Mhmm-"

"And Hylia took ya before ya could 'ave the surgery?"

Another nod. "A couple days before." His voice was barely above a whisper. Sky could feel the realisation settle in for both of them.

He wanted to leave. He wanted to run deeper into the forest and disappear.

"Shit. Now I understand why you snapped Dad- you were right but it was uncalled for."

Sky wanted to stop and gush over the fact Legend was calling him dad- not honey but Dad. He needed to get through this first. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Ta be 'onest, I think everyone is gonna be so shocked ya 'ave 'eard ya call tha Goddess out like that."

Sky tried to shrink under the Ranchers gaze, though he couldn't exactly do it well without his sailcloth. Oh by the goddess, he threw it in the mud. It's gonna be a pain to clean...

"Anyway, ya shoulda said something to me or the Vet sooner. Ya binding right now, yea?"

Sky nodded slowly. "I didn't know you both were-" He just couldn't being himself to say trans. He hated it. He should be able too say it.

Twilight gave a laugh and ruffled Sky's hair. "Ya shoulda talked ta someone. If not us, Time at least. They're probably one of tha most clueless but they'd do their best ta help. When they found out bout me, they took me somewhere we coulda talked an' made sure nothin' bothered me. Same with Apple 'ere."

Sky could feel Legends frustration at being called Apple by Twilight. "Only dad gets to call me Apple, rancher."

Sky's heart sunk. He just snapped at people who were like him. He should've just held it better. He could've waited. He should've waited. He could've played the harp or anything but snap at his team.

"Oi, don't you go an' start feeling guilty on us."

He nodded. Not like it stopped him.

"Now, when's tha last time ya took your binder off?"

Oh how caring their voices were. Sky needed to prepare himself for that to change quickly.

"Sky?"

He couldn't help but give an awkward laugh.

"Dad."

"Well..." He could feel the atmosphere change.

"How long?" The caring tone was gone- it was so stern now. He could definitely tell Twilight and Time were related.

Sky prepared himself for a lecture, swallowing. "Last watch."

They could hear a pin drop with how silent it was.

"Are ya out of ya mind? That's dangerous! By the goddess- ya still fight an' all? Sky. Ya can't do that. There's a reason ya can't."

Sky wanted to leave. He knew. He just didn't care. "I know." He trained his gaze on the grass and sticks on the ground. He couldn't meet Twilight's gaze.

"It would screw it up so ya can't 'ave surgery!"

His eyes shot up to meet Twilight's.

"Exactly. I can give ya my pelt ta hide in or somethin' but ya need ta take it off. I know it sucks but ya need to let ya body rest. Legend doesn't take watch often for a reason Sky."

Sky knew this. Sky knew this and he refused to acknowledge it until now.

"Dad, you're an idiot sometimes. Lemme go get the pelt so ya can take it off." Legend pried himself free from the grip Sky didn't know he had on his son and left.

Sky lowered himself to the ground.

"Now, if I find out ya keep doing this, I'm confiscatin' it and makin' ya rest. I'll explain it ta Time an' we'll set camp up for a few days."

He just gave a nod.

"If we're travelin' an' ya need ta take it off, jus' tap my arm three times. I'll make an excuse."

Another nod.

"I'll only tell Time for now. If it becomes an issue, I'm tellin' tha others."

"You can tell them." He whispered, hunching his shoulders as much as he could.

"Ya need ta be tha one ta tell 'em."

"I can't."

A sigh left the Rancher before he nodded slowly, though Sky wasn't looking. He was too ashamed.

"Oi! I'm back with tha pelt."

"Thanks Vet."

"Uh- Twi, Legend? Thank you..."

"No need."