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HOW have i only now made the conscious realization that im up 60lbs from my lowest weight. ive just been thinking “well yeahhh i’m up 20 since I went on the meds that make you fat and evil. whatever.” and didnt even spare a glance slightly to either side of the scale to get the full picture. if i were crossing the road with this perspective, my tunnel-visioned ass would’ve been flattened by a semi truck at mach fuck. holy shit! am i stupid? don’t answer that i’ll cum
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me now (left) vs at my lowest weight 😳
I’ve reached a new level of fat.
My father, almost a full foot taller than me and on the heavy side, STOLE MY SHIRT. he thought it was HIS.
It is MY SHIRT that I BOUGHT. and it FIT HIM.
… but at least I got it back…? … yeah. 👍
I am suffering from -- whatever the opposite of weight gain denial would be. I keep thinking "wow, I'm eating a ton, I should really be careful here!" but the scale tells a different story. After 4 weeks, I have gained…. 1 pound. Maybe. I was trying to take this slow, in order maximize the chances of gaining muscle along with fat, but I didn't mean to go THIS slowly.
Today I'm really giving it my all, though. Lots of dairy and avocado and potato chips and peanut butter spread out over the day, and it's not over yet!
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*sigh* I was called a human vacuum three times today -//w//-
I need to eat so much that’s just what people call me
sorry I haven’t been dom-feedee posting on here recently, life is sucking a lot of ass right now (no offense to the ass suckers, love yall)
on another note, god I just need somebody to completely devote themselves to my every whim and denigrate themselves for my benefit. I need to lord over someone, dizzy with power and a food-drunk ego and watch them completely fall apart under the weight of my words, knowing through their devotion they will eventually fall apart under the weight of my body.
I need to watch someone realize in their heart and soul that I am the only thing worth serving, over their family, friends, themselves, and the world.
I need to watch someone feel every cutting insult I throw, every pull of their hair, every strike, every reminder of their unworthiness.
I need to watch someone just give in.
Give in to my needs. Give in to my wants. Give in to my every movement. Give in to my body.
I need them to
Understand. Comprehend. Believe in.
my growing corpulence.
their utter meaninglessness.
our inevitable future.
It's been awhile since I've posted here, and a lot has happened in the meantime.
The good: I got top surgery! It went really well, and I am ecstatic with the results.
The bad: Shortly thereafter, I discovered a Serious Health Problem (unrelated) which fucked up my 2025. I have finished treatment, and my health is stable now, but my relationship to my body (and sexuality) is not.
Which brings us to now. In an attempt to feel better in my body (both in terms of gender and just in general), I have gotten surprisingly into weight lifting. I've been making progress, but slowly (thanks for nothing, estrogen dominant hormone system!). Somebody suggested that maybe I haven't been eating enough to build muscle, which has unlocked my dormant kink. So! My goal is to eat lots, lift lots of weights, and hopefully build muscle and get a bit fatter, and I am giving myself permission to be as horny about this as I want.
I'm not going into this with any firm goals, beyond having fun and seeing what happens. I'm not sure about posting pics, but we'll see….. I'll probably succumb to the temptation eventually.
