#nonald

No. This is not what we’re doing. I am not here to drag an artist through the dirt just because I don’t like them. Not as long as they’re a decent person. I may not like him, and I may think he’s a liar, but Niall Horan is not a bad person and I’m not going to sit here and hate on him the way people hate on the boys that I love like Liam and 5SOS. I dealt with enough of that toxic ass shit from Larries, Louies and Harries when I was in the narry fandom, which I hated then, and that shit gets a no from me.

Niall may sit there and encourage people to stream his songs and come to his shows, but at least he actually interacts with his fans. It’s actually the one thing I miss about him, is that he’s so invested in his relationship with his fanbase, because people acting like this is what drove the people that I stan off of social media entirely so I don’t get that level of interaction anymore from people I adore.

Tomorrow’s update will proceed as normal, and then it’ll be every other day from there, so it’s going to be- 

2/9 - chapter 45

2/11 - chapter 46

2/13 - chapter 47

2/15 - chapter 48

2/17 - chapter 49

2/19 - chapter 50

2/21 - chapter 51

2/23 - chapter 52

2/25 - chapter 53

2/27 - chapter 54

11: About my crush

I suppose that I should say my husband @starof464 is my crush, because that’s how marriage works and also I’m days from my anniversary.

HOWEVER

Mali-Koa is my girl crush, and that artsy topless looking over the shoulder pic that she posted yesterday had me feeling like an anime pervert about to blast off to the moon with a nosebleed. She’s just- Holy crap. Look at her.

“I don’t think it’s a ridiculous question.” Luke pouts around the straw in his mouth. “I think that’s a way for you to avoid answering the question.”

“Luke.” Calum sighs.

“I just want to know if you slept with Ashton.” Luke says, swirling his iced latte around because he knows the sound of the ice annoys Calum. “I’ve already admitted that I did.”

“Which I did not want to know.” Calum huffs. “At all.”

“We were broken up.” Luke says with a roll of his eyes.

“Doesn’t mean I want that image in my head.” Calum mutters, staring down at his own un-iced coffee. Luke really does not understand how he can drink it hot and black like that. If there’s not a buttload of sugar and milk, what’s the point of coffee?

“It’s not like we’ve never fooled around with a third before.” Luke points out. “Or like we’ve never done the open relationship thing.”

“It’s different.” Calum scoffs.

“Why?” Luke asks. “Because you slept with him too when you lived there?”

“Luke, I am going to ask you one more time to drop this.” Calum says with another sigh. He’s near his limit, and Luke doesn’t want to push him. That’s how he ends up not getting any dick for a week.

“But- You were roommates.” Luke says quietly.

Or an AU where Luke is incredibly stuck on the question of whether or not Calum slept with Ashton back when they were roommates, because he definitely did, and he definitely can’t get the idea of Calum and Ashton out of his head, because that would be HOT. He just doesn’t know what kind of wound he’s opening with that question.

This is a difficult question to answer, tbh? It’s like you’re asking me to choose between my children.

My go to answer for this one is TBiaM. It was the first fic that I wrote where I decided to just say ‘fuck it’ and write the kind of story that I really wanted to, even though my readers may not have been into it. Fantasy-ish AUs are a hard sell sometimes, and I had a lot of people say in advance that they weren’t really too into the idea, which was scary, but it turned out alright, and it didn’t matter to me if it didn’t. It was a story that I wanted to tell, and did.

ANbaHD has a weird place in my heart, because the story itself is very dear to me, and one of my strongest, but I was in the middle of writing it when I became disillusioned with niall and harry and 1D and all that. It’s a story exploring something that you don’t see very often, especially in fanfic, about a disabled person’s struggle to function in the world, both physically and mentally. It was such a challenge to write, and there were times where I wanted to throw the whole damn thing in the trash and forget about it, but that’s what makes me love it.

DtRH is one of my weakest stories, honestly, but it’s the one that earned me a place in the fandom, and really started my fanfic career, plus it turned into CGBtY, which I don’t entirely loathe because of Noah.

MMU MMY was a soul-clearing exercise for me, and helped me begin to cope with a lot of trauma that I had held onto from my past. It’s a weak and poorly written story, I know, but it’s important for me, and at least one other person has told me how much it means to them for very much the same reasons, because they’ve been through something similar to what I have, and what Harry went through in that story. That means the world to me.

Guiding Light is another one that I have a particular fondness for, because it’s a story centered around two people who are shoved together by fate and poor-decision making, and they fight so hard in different ways. Harry is so, so stubborn, because he thinks he’s living the life he deserves after what he did, and when not even the person he loved most in the world wanted to be around him, and Niall is fighting so hard to fix the mistakes that he made. Their dynamic is dysfunctional at best, and toxic at worst, but it’s also the only thing that can get either of them through the things they’ve been through.

WBSB is probably my strongest story to date, and one that I like probably more than any other story besides TBiaM. It was a particular challenge to write, because I had already fallen away from niall and harry as inspirations, and because I had to build so much of that world from the ground up. But I got to explore themes that no other story I’ve written has really given me an opportunity to work with before. It also is the first story I’ve written with my boy Calum as a major character, which was really fun, and helped me get a better handle on him for the three 5SoS stories that I have planned.

And, last but not least, there’s WKL- I know people haven’t read pretty much any of it, and haven’t even met the full cast, but I really enjoy this one. It’s such a treat as a writer to get to world-build on this scale. Nothing is what it seems with this story, and it gives me plenty of opportunity to explore yet another theme that I’ve never really gotten to do before. 

All of my stories have a central theme that they focus around, and they’re generally all different, but some of them are similar. A very basic version of all of the major ones from my big fics are:

DtRH- Self-discovery

MMU MMY- Hope and connection

TBiaM- Leadership and sacrifice

GL- Loss, fear and loneliness

ANbaHD- Guilt, identity, disability and trauma

WBSB- Family and fascism

WKL- Exploration and self-acceptance