#non-sequential chapter 5

After the service, Steve stayed to watch his mother’s casket get lowered into the ground. The rest of the guests had left. But Bucky stayed at his side.

Bucky didn’t know how Steve could remain so stoic through it all.

Steve stared down at the ground, his head hung low and his hands in his pockets.

Bucky wrapped his arms around his shoulder. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

Steve just nodded and let Bucky lead him away from his mother’s grave.

The entire walk was silent. Steve clearly didn’t want to talk and Bucky had no intention of forcing him to listen to him talk.

It wasn’t until they were climbing up the stairs to Steve’s apartment that Bucky broke the silence.

“I was gonna ask…”

“I know what you’re gonna say, Buck.” Steve cut him off. He started searching for his keys in his coat pockets, coming up blank.

“We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It’ll be fun.” Bucky noticed Steve had lost his keys once again. “All ya gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.” He kicked over the brick that hid the spare, giving it to Steve. “Come on,” he tried to urge.

“Thank you, Buck. But I can get by on my own.”

Bucky nodded. “The thing is… you don’t have to.” His gripped his best friend’s shoulder and lowered his head. “I’m with you ’til the end of the line, pal.”

Steve’s face softened at his friend’s words.

“You’ll come over for dinner tomorrow night?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, Buck, I’ll see you later.”

Steve went into his apartment. He expected it to feel cold and silent, that he would instantly feel the absence of his mother. 

But that wasn’t what happened. 

There was a record playing softly in the background and movement in the kitchen.

Steve’s brow furrowed. Had someone broken into his apartment?

Whoever it was, they must have heard him closing the door because their shuffling suddenly paused.

Y/N slowly walked out the kitchen and into the entranceway. Her eyes were sad and her shoulders were sagging a bit.

Just from the way she looked, Steve knew that Y/N was already aware of what had happened. “St-Steve, I’m so, so sorry,” her whisper was shaky and filled with heartbreak.

Suddenly, he rushed over to her. He buried his face in her neck and the emotions he’d kept down all this time came flooding out. His tears wet her skin and his whole body shook. She held on to him tightly and lovingly, letting him know it was okay to let his emotions show.

Eventually, Steve had no more tears to shed and his shaking stopped. He pulled away from Y/N and looked up with slight embarrassment. He wiped his tears away roughly with the back of his hand and sniffed, trying to clear his sinuses.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t at funeral. I didn’t want to make a scene,” Y/N finally muttered.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now,” he tried to smile up at her.

“I’m making some dinner for us. When’s the last time you ate?” She asked.

Steve shrugged. “Not sure, to be honest.”

If the circumstances were different, she would’ve scolded or lectured him. But now was not the time. Instead, she just gave him a sad look.

“Come on,” she nodded toward the kitchen, making her way back in.

Steve slowly followed.

She eyed him and then pointed to the dinner table, silently instructing him to take a seat.

“I’m not much of a cook. But I think I’ve at least mastered spaghetti and meatballs.”

Steve just watched her move lightly around the kitchen, grabbing various ingredients. He didn’t bother asking if he could help. He knew that she would just refuse him.

Eventually they were sitting at the table, music still playing quietly, and them eating silently. Y/N didn’t want to force him to talk. The fact that he so openly cried was such a big step that she didn’t want to push him further.

“I’m gonna have to move,” Steve finally spoke.

Y/N looked around the apartment, but didn’t respond.

“We could barely afford this place before. Now I definitely can’t afford it.”

Y/N reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “Don’t worry about that right now. You’re going to figure it out.”

Steve sighed.

“I know, because I’ve seen it,” Y/N added.

“You knew,” he whispered. “You knew that she was going to die. That’s why you wanted to meet her so badly.” 

Steve wasn’t mad. He knew Y/N couldn’t tell him things like that. He wouldn’t have even wanted to know. What kind of man would want to see a ticking clock every time he looked at his mother?

Y/N nodded slowly. “I’m sorry. I just - I can’t tell you–”

“Y/N, please. You don’t have to apologize.”

She nodded, but he could tell she wasn’t convinced.

“I wish you could stay,” Steve muttered as he looked down at the table.

“What?”

“I know you can’t control it. And I know you’ll never be able to stay. But just this once, I wish you could.” He reached over the table and grabbed her hand, as if that would keep her in his time period.

Steve knew it was selfish, but he wished he could be her anchor, keeping her in his time.

Y/N insisted on cleaning up after dinner.

Eventually, they found themselves sitting on the couch together. Y/N was sprawled out, her legs laying across Steve’s thighs. It was somehow intimate without being romantic or sexual.

Y/N did all the talking. Steve had gotten to a point where he was done reflecting on his pain, on his grief. For just a bit, he didn’t want to miss his mother. And Y/N realized this. So she told him stories about her friends, her family, and even shared little hints about the future. Steve was disappointed about the lack of flying cars. But Y/N assured him that there were much more impressive things than that, things that were almost impossible for her to describe without him seeing them for himself.

After some time, the records stopped playing and the sun slowly started to replace the moon. Steve was exhausted and he needed more than just the night to regain his strength and catch up on his sleep.

In his sleep, Steve could hear the shuffling from the night owl neighbor above him and even the crickets chirping outside.

Y/N hadn’t even shut her eyes. Instead, she watched over Steve like a hawk. Even in his sleep, she tried to protect him. She was prepared to wake him up if there were any signs that something haunted his subconscious.

Then she felt the tingly it always started at her fingertips. It was the only warning that she would be leaving soon. Her heart broke. She didn’t want to leave Steve. He needed her…more than ever.

She leaned forward and brushed some hair from his delicate and young face.

“I’m always going to be with you, Steve. Always. Even when I’m not with you here. I’ll be with you somewhere else. I’m never truly be gone,” Y/N whispered ever so quietly, careful not to rouse him from his deep sleep.

The words made their way into Steve’s dream like a spell. They echoed and sounded like a reverb in his sleeping mind. ——————

2015

Steve woke up with a weird feeling in his stomach. It felt empty. Like he hadn’t eaten in days. Something felt… off.

“FRIDAY?” His voice still rough with sleep.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?” The AI answered immediately.

Steve held his breath for a moment, not wanting to get his hopes up. “Is…Is Y/N here?”

There was a pause.

“No, Captain Rogers. I’m afraid she is not.”

He let out a shaky exhale and rubbed his face. He knew better than to get his hopes up. But now he had no explanation for the weird feeling.

There was a knock on his door.

“Come in,” he called.

Pepper walked in with a garment bag in her hands. Then she saw Steve’s confused face. “Oh, no. Did you forget?”

There was a moment of Steve processing. Then he hung his head. “That gala’s tonight, isn’t it?”

She looked at him sympathetically, knowing how much he hated these things. But she had assured the team that it was all for a good cause. The Avengers’ appearance could raise more money than they could possibly understand. Pepper was a master at these things.

“The suit should fit like a glove. I promise I’ll try to make tonight as painless as possible,” Pepper assured him softly. “I can’t thank you enough for attending. You don’t know how much it means to me.”

Steve shrugged her off. “Of course, Pepper. It’s nothing.”

But they both knew it was something.

Hours later, Steve was drinking whiskey in fancy glassware and schmoozing the rich guests as much as he could. 

It was still weird, the idea that people wanted to meet and talk with him. Couldn’t they see past the height and muscles? Couldn’t they see that he was still just a nobody from Brooklyn?

But the night was a success already. Every so often Pepper would give them updates on the amount of money that had already been donated.

The event had gone on and on, and Steve was getting socially exhausted. He put on a good show though and smiled his way through it.

Then he felt a presence over his shoulder. “I’ll distract the leeches. You make a run for it.”

Steve smirked at the sound of Tony’s mischievous voice. He turned slightly. “But Pepper–”

“Who do you think sent me?” Tony cut him off. “You did your job. Now get the hell outta here?”

Steve gave him a grateful look.

Tony did just what he promised and distracted the aristocrats that were dying for Captain America’s attention.  

Steve hurried his walk and dipped his head to avoid any people trying to make eye contact to stop him for a chat. 

When he got outside, Happy was waiting with various other chauffeurs.

“Had enough?” Happy asked Steve with a knowing smirk.

The gala had been in the city, of course. Why make the rich leave their penthouse apartments and go upstate?

The night was cool and the breeze felt good against Steve’s hot skin. He had started feeling claustrophobic inside.

Steve looked around. “You know what? I think I’ll take a walk.”

Happy eyed him. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll take one of the motorcycles from the tower back to the compound when I’m ready.”

Happy shrugged.

Steve gave him a smile before hurrying past the line of cars and making his way through the city. He had loosened his tie and immediately felt like he could breathe easier.

The city had changed drastically since his time before the ice. But it still had a strange hold on him. He looked into restaurants and bars, eyeing the people that seemed to fit in this world more than he did. He noted their smiles and laughs, how they interacted with each other.

His walk was slow and without purpose. He had nowhere to be.

He was walking by a laundromat. It had a neon sign above it, indicating that it was open 24/7. It was a Saturday night. Steve struggled with the idea that anyone would ever be doing their laundry at this time.

But lo and behold, there was one person folding their clothes neatly.

It wasn’t until they turned that Steve unknowingly stopped in his tracks.

Her hair was longer and she looked more like the woman he’d met when he was just a kid from Brooklyn in the 1930s.

She was wearing headphones, completely oblivious to the world around her. Steve smirked as he saw her mouthing the words to the song playing and ever so subtly swaying her hips and bobbing her head to a beat only she could hear.

He’d never seen her like this: comfortable, relaxed…present.

It was clear she wasn’t going anywhere, because he was finally in her here and now.

Steve’s body moved on its own accord. He didn’t even realize it until he heard the chime of the bell as he walked through the door.

She had yet to notice that anyone had arrived, still pleasantly listening to her music and living in her own little world.

Steve just stood and watched her, worried he’d terrify her. 

But mostly he didn’t know what to do. He’d dreamed of this moment since the day he found out the truth about Y/N. He dreamed of living beside her, both of them in the present, no time between them.

Now that it was finally here, Steve had no idea what he was doing.

Y/N was fully dancing along to her music now. She was twirling in circles. But on her third spin, she realized there’s someone watching her and she stopped abruptly.

Steve can hear her gasp when she recognized him.

They stared at each other. It was as though both of them thought it was a dream and they were waiting for one of them to wake up or disappear.

“Y/N,” Steve finally breathed.

Then she was running to him.

Steve caught her in his arms and held onto her tightly. He buried his face into her neck, letting her scent convince him that she was real.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” her words were muffled by his shoulder.

Steve reluctantly pulled away so he could look into her eyes. He grabbed her face softly, just to ground himself.

“This is your present, right? You’re not going anywhere.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at him a bit. “I mean, I’ll disappear eventually. But not now. This is my present. I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve hugged her again. “God, I missed you so much.”

“When was the last time you saw me?”

He pulled back and shook his head. “About a month ago. You were in college.”

She nodded slowly.

“So what…you’re 24 now?” Steve did the math.

She grinned at how easily he figured it out and then nodded.

“I live just around the block. Would you like to come over?” Y/N asked him shyly.

“Yes,” Steve answered so quickly that Y/N let out a chuckle. Then he cleared his throat and added, “Absolutely.”

Steve answered so quickly that Y/N let out a chuckle.

Y/N nodded. “OK. Let me just…” But when she reached for her basket of now clean and folded clothes, Steve was already grabbing for it.

“Here. Let me,” he insisted.

Y/N blinked at the gesture. Then she was reminded of Steve’s old-fashioned habits.

If Steve noticed her confusion, he didn’t show it.

But he smirked at her and said, “Lead the way.”

A few minutes later, they were sitting at Y/N’s dinner table. Well…it couldn’t really be considered a dinner table. It was a high-top that unfolded from the wall. Y/N’s apartment was true to New York’s reputation. And it looked even smaller now that Steve was in it.

Y/N had offered to make them tea. Now the two mugs sat untouched in front of them. She really had only made it to give herself something to do.

Steve couldn’t help but realize that Y/N was struggling to look him in the eye. Meanwhile, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He didn’t think he had even blinked.

“Y/N…?” He muttered softly.

“Hmm?” But she still didn’t look up from the mug sitting snuggly between her palms.

“You OK?”

“Yep,” she answered too lightly for it to be believable.

Steve slowly reached across the table and gripped her hands. “Y/N?

“Mhmm?”

“Won’t you look at me?” He whispered.

Slowly and shakily, her gaze lifted to finally meet his. “I’m sorry,” she rushed out.

But Steve tightened his grip on her hands and shook his head. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I just can’t believe we’re both finally here. The same time, the same place. It seems too good to be true,” she admitted.

“I know,” he agreed.

Then Y/N’s lips turned into a wicked smirk. “You still scared you’re gonna corrupt me?”

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle. But he shook his head, “No, not anymore.”

“Good.” 

Then she was leaning across her small table and locked her lips to his. It was confident and powerful. 

Long gone was the scared and frightened girl that Steve had found in the grass during a raging storm. In her place was the empowered and self-assured woman Steve had met at that bus stop back in the 30s.

It took Steve a moment to respond, but then he quickly recovered and kissed her back just as passionately.  

“Stay the night,” she whispered when they pulled away for air.

It was meant to be a command, but Steve heard the questioning tone underneath. She may be confident, but she clearly was worried about pushing him too hard.

“A-Are you sure?” He stuttered.

They both knew staying the night didn’t mean innocently sharing the same bed like it had so often in the past. Y/N’s desire was clear in her eyes and in the way she’d just kissed him.

“We’ve been chasing each other through time for far too long, Steve. I don’t know about you…but I don’t want to waste another moment.”

Steve swallowed and realized how dry his throat was.

Then he watched as Y/N slowly got up from her chair and started walking to the bedroom.

When she got a few steps and realized he hadn’t moved, she turned to him. “You coming or what?”

Steve shot to his feet, “Yes, ma’am.”

Y/N couldn’t hold back her smile from being addressed so formally.

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Chapter 6