#nomoreweed

Today, January 27, 2019, will be the last day that I ever smoke marijuana. I’ve told myself this before - lots of times. But this time will be different. I am going to hold myself accountable. I will see the cravings and delusions that I’m better off with it in advance, and will instead steer clear of it - forever.

There are lots of other changes I want to make as well. I want to be more kind to others, I want to manage my time better, I want to lose weight, I want to eat better. All of these will come - in time. 

For some, Marijuana is a miracle drug. For me, it is a curse - one which I cannot seem to shake. It clouds my judgment, hides & masks my emotions, and makes me a shell of myself. The fact that I function well in other areas of my life, including work, and until recently relationships simply serves to make things worse. I tell myself things can’t be that bad - everything else seems like it’s working. 

But the reality is that I’m not who I want to be - the best version of myself - the Me I know I can be. I don’t want to blame something as simple as a flower that grows in the ground, but how I have used it and let it control my thoughts & drive my fears stops today.