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As 2022 draws to a close, I'm realizing that I wrote...kind of a lot of words this year, and that it might be time for a pinned post to try to keep track of all the things! So without further ado, may I present the inner workings of my brain 😁:
If you're looking for Love Letters, the recent 00q Choose Your Own Adventure I did in the run-up to Valentine's Day 2023, you can either click through the posts/polls by reading the links on Tumblr, or you can read it all in one place on ao3. Thanks so much to everyone who participated in this wild ride with me, I absolutely loved it !
And for the rest of it:
For the Fluff Lovers:
A Fine Kettle of Phish, Teen and Up, 7200 words. James Bond/Q.
James Bond falls for a spearphishing email, and it falls to Q to give him his mandatory cybersecurity training. This is not going to go well for at least one of them.
Read if you like: epistolary fics; IT shenanigans; humor with heart.
Avoid if: you prefer fics that adhere closely to canon; you have a fluff allergy.
Trick, Teen and Up, 6600 words. James Bond/Q (Background Nomi/Eve Moneypenny). Series: Trick/Treat
James Bond wants nothing more than to convince Q that he's ready for a serious relationship--but in order to do that, he's going to need to figure out what Q's wearing to Moneypenny's Halloween party.
Read if you like: Halloween costume parties; Bond proving he's boyfriend material; Bond and Nomi being just deeply extra.
Avoid if: you prefer fics that adhere closely to canon; you have a fluff allergy.
Treat, Teen and Up, 9500 words. Nomi/Eve Moneypenny (Background James Bond/Q). Series: Trick/Treat
Nomi has two things she absolutely must accomplish by Moneypenny's Halloween party: 1) convince Moneypenny that she's not actually a complete idiot, and 2) help James Bond figure out Q's Halloween costume.
One of these things may be easier than the other.
Read if you like: Halloween costume parties; queer women talking about their feelings; Moneypenny being perfect as always; Bond and Nomi being just deeply extra.
Avoid if: you prefer fics that adhere closely to canon; you have a fluff allergy.
open line, Teen and Up, 2000 words. James Bond/Q.
There was no conceivable excuse for it. Bond had prepared to sign off comms the way he always did—
“I’ll see you in London, Q.”
—and Q, only half paying attention, closing camera feeds, verifying flight paths, had responded—
(Or, Q gets distracted on comms, and says the unthinkable.)
Read if you like: fluffy oneshots; Q and Bond growing closer over comms; public displays of affection in a Tesco.
Avoid if: you have a fluff allergy; you just want to buy some cabbages and don't see why all the kissing is really necessary.
Hoodie, Teen and Up, 400 words. James Bond/Q.
A short 00q prompt fill for the Tumblr prompt "Hoodie."
Read if you like: characters wearing each other's clothes; very short ficlets; Bond getting drinks thrown in his face; Q being oblivious.
Avoid if: you have a fluff allergy; you prefer longer works with more character development.
Home, Teen and Up, 1600 words. James Bond/Q.
A 00q prompt fill for the Tumblr prompt "Home."
Bond didn’t hate his flat, not exactly. It was just that it was always meant to be a stopgap, a temporary landing place after he’d moved back to London eight months before. The rent was extortionate, to be sure; the views dismal; the heating insufficiently calibrated to the wet London weather. The lift was out of service more often than not; the kitchen was cramped; and his upstairs neighbor seemed to listen exclusively to music by James Blunt, but setting that aside—
Bond hated his flat.
Read if you like: domestic fluff; slice of life fics; established relationships.
Avoid if: you have a fluff allergy; you prefer fics where more things explode.
Must Love Cats, Teen and Up, 5400 words. James Bond/Q.
Prompt fill for 2022 Festive Fanwork Fiesta.
Q needs a date to his ex-boyfriend's wedding.
Bond wants to be Q's wedding date.
There are just ten little things he's got to do first.
Read if you like: strong rom com vibes; getting together fics; humor with heart; Q being oblivious.
Avoid if: you have a fluff allergy; you prefer fics that adhere closely to canon.
come y bebe que la vida es breve, Teen and Up, 1300 words. James Bond/Q.
Prompt fill for 2022 Festive Fanwork Fiesta.
“Q,” Bond leaned over to kiss the nape of his neck. “You don’t need to fuss over me.”
“I’m not fussing,”Q said, without turning around. “I’m cooking.
Written for the prompt, "mundane activity done together-shopping, gardening, cooking, etc."
Read if you like: domestic fluff; slice of life fics; established relationships.
Avoid if: you prefer fics where more things explode.
A Good Man, Teen and Up, 2600 words. Benoit Blanc/Phillip. Series: A Good Man 'verse
Blanc set down his glass. “Professor, I’m beginning to suspect that you might be the most interesting person here. Maybe even one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.”
Phillip stared. “Are you taking the piss?”
(Or, Benoit Blanc returns from his trip to Greece, and Phillip reflects on the night they first met.)
Read if you like: domestic fluff; established relationships; memories of getting together.
Avoid if: you prefer fics with more on-page mystery solving.
An Ever-Fixed Mark, Teen and Up, 7100 words. Benoit Blanc/Phillip. Series: A Good Man 'verse
"It’s extraordinarily presumptuous of me, I know, but how would you feel about killing two of the proverbial birds with one stone?”
Phillip shifted in his office chair, his errant heart beating fast again. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, Phillip,” Blanc said, his voice low and pleased, “if you’re amenable, I’d very much like it if you’d come with me to take a look at a painting.”
Or, Blanc and Phillip won't let a little thing like an intractable case get in the way of their first date.
Read if you like: the first work in this series; fluff; first dates; soft mystery boyfriends; a little light mystery solving.
Avoid if: you prefer more emphasis on the mystery and less on the fluff.
Angst with a Happy Ending:
The More Loving One, Teen and Up, 9100 words. James Bond/Q.
On this particular Wednesday, he’s so engrossed in his blueprints and his midday cup of tea that he barely acknowledges Bond when he sidles in and leans on Q’s worktable, hands braced on either side of the trace paper.
“Can you take me to a gay bar?” Bond asks.
Q spits his tea all over the blueprints.
Read if you like: poetry; not actually unrequited love; Bond and Q at a gay bar.
Avoid if: W.H. Auden is your literary nemesis; the initial appearance of unrequited love makes you too sad.
Bad Thing Twice, Mature, 3100 words. James Bond/Q. Series: Cut to the Feeling
It would never have happened the first time, if it weren't for the cardigan.
Read if you like: Carly Rae Jepsen; a hint of smut; Q standing up for Bond; characters being surprised by feelings.
Avoid if: you prefer not to read on-page sex; you think the budget office has a point, actually.
'tis the damn season, Mature, 5400 words. James Bond/Q.
A love story in four Christmases.
Read if you like: stories centered around MI6 holiday parties; James Bond working through some things; hurt/comfort.
Avoid if: discussion of depressive episodes is triggering; you prefer not to read on-page sex.
Hug, Teen and Up, 900 words. James Bond/Q.
Prompt fill.
Q has managed to keep it together, over the last two days, and somehow this is what sends him over: James Bond cradling his hand as if it’s something precious, and the simple promise of care.
Read if you like: tenderness; hugging; established relationships (sort of); comfort; Bond smelling good.
Avoid if: you prefer longer works; you prefer not to read (brief) discussions about Bond sleeping with other people on missions.
This Little Light of Mine, Teen and Up, 3700 words. James Bond and Q (note that this one is pre-relationship).
Prompt fill for 2022 Festive Fanwork Fiesta.
After the events of Skyfall, Bond spends his nights alone and sleepless in his empty new flat.
There's simply no way Q can let that stand.
Read if you like: hints of domesticity with a dash of hurt/comfort; Q being exceedingly clever and a little bit socially awkward.
Avoid if: mention of grief or insomnia are triggering; you only want to read fics where the characters are in a relationship.
rain, Explicit, 5600 words. James Bond/Q.
Prompt fill.
Q opened his mouth to say it, only to close it again, the words stagnating on the tip of his tongue:
Sometimes, I worry that if no one touches me, I might fade away at the edges, until I disappear. Sometimes I think I might have disappeared already.
Or, Q is caught in the rain, and then a silver Aston Martin pulls up beside him.
Read if you like: explicit sex (uhhh lots of it); pining (so much pining); characters being lovingly dried off after being caught in the rain.
Avoid if: you prefer not to read explicit sex; you prefer fics where more things explode.
for the age of the earth, and after, Mature, 800 words. James Bond/Q.
It starts when Bond says, “Tell me how you like it,” and Q says, “Slow.”
Read if you like: smut with feelings; the barest sprinkle of angst; the Kantian idea of the sublime.
Avoid if: you prefer longer fics; you prefer fics with more plot than smut; you simply Kant (see what I did there).
Now With Even More Angst:
and the wind at their backs, Teen and Up, 500 words. James Bond/Q. Archive Warning: Major Character Death.
What he remembers of Q, in the end, is this.
Read if you like: wondering what happened the night Bond spent at Q's in NTTD; gentle explorations of grief.
Avoid if: you need a happy ending; major character death is too upsetting at the moment.
offering, Teen and Up, 700 words. James Bond/Q. Archive Warning: Major Character Death.
“It’s terribly inconvenient, grieving you,” Q says to no one. “Somehow I think you’d like that.”
Q builds an ofrenda for Bond on the Day of the Dead.
Read if you like: día de muertos; gentle explorations of grief.
Avoid if: you need a happy ending; major character death is too upsetting at the moment.
all the flags we've hung, Teen and Up, 2400 words. James Bond/Felix Leiter.
Prompt fill for 2022 Festive Fanwork Fiesta.
“It’s a bitch of a thing,” Felix said, taking a swig of his beer, “loving a country that doesn’t love you back.”
Written for the prompt, "Bond has a habit of breaking into the houses of the people he loves. Felix nearly shoots him."
Read if you like: in-depth explorations of Felix Leiter's character; love in its many forms; complicated relationships to patriotism.
Avoid if: you prefer unequivocally hopeful endings; discussion of racism may be triggering.
For Some Additional Silliness:
A Brief Excerpt from an MI6 Budget Meeting
Some thoughts on Bond's abiding love for Celine Dion
And last but not least, for the Stardew Valley fans:
the very first piece of fan fiction I ever wrote. Be gentle. 😁
This is a bit from my sp00qy season WIP, which is actually a 00q and NomiPenny (NoMoney? which do we like better?) double feature exploring the run-up to Moneypenny's annual Halloween party. It's set in a completely self-indulgent world where all of the good stuff from NTTD (Bond is retired! Nomi is 007!) happens, and none of the bad things do. Excerpt below the cut!
“Morning,” said a voice behind him. Bond turned to find Nomi walking down the hall, as insouciant as ever in a white suit jacket and white trousers. “I see they’re letting anyone into the building these days. How lowering. Is that coffee in need of a good home? Because—“
“Don’t you dare.” Moneypenny breezed around a corner and relieved James of his drinks tray. “Morning, Bond. I’ve got bad news, by the way, you’re going to need to start doubling the order. Mallory knows, and he wants in.”
“Mallory wants an oatmilk latte?”
“That’s the part you’re concerned about?” Moneypenny asked, opening the pastry bag. “And no, he wants a black coffee with one and a half sugars, and a plain croissant. Same time as my delivery is fine.”
Bond rubbed at his face. “One and a half—Jesus. Fine. This is extortionate, though, just so you know.”
“It would be, except you volunteered to be extorted in the first place.” Moneypenny countered, her mouth full of muffin.
“Not by Mallory,” Bond grumbled.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have snogged your boyfriend in the garage. Mallory’s car has a motion-activated dash cam.”
“Shit. Noted.”
“Get on with you, then.” Moneypenny waved a hand at him. “You too, 007. I’ll see you later.”
“Yes. Definitely!” Nomi called after Moneypenny. “Have a nice face!”
"Treat," the second part of my sp00qy season NomiPenny/00qdouble feature, is now up on ao3!
Each part is meant to be complete in and of itself, and can be read alone. However, they cover many of the same events, so they complement each other and reveal different details of the story. (At the same time, each story has slight spoilers for the other, so bear that in mind when you are picking which to read first!)
This part is primarily NomiPenny, with 00q in the background, and the first part, which you can read here, is primarily 00q, with background NomiPenny.
Friends, this fic has so much of my heart, and I think it's in the running for "thing I have been most excited and most nervous to post." I might post some meta about it over the next few days, but for now, suffice it to say, I poured so much of my love for these characters into this, including my wish for the happy endings they so richly deserved. I'm happy to talk about this, always, here or in the comments. I hope you it meets you where you are.
Coming in just under the wire with this one! This is another bit from my sp00qy season 00q/NomiPenny WIP, which is a double feature exploring the run-up to Moneypenny's annual Halloween party. Finished work to include a rooftop garden, killer whales, an inordinate amount of fluff, extremely dubious misuse of Mallory's mail, and a very large hammer. Excerpt below the cut.
“Be careful with that,” James points toward the harissa. “It’s hot.”
Nomi just looks at him, and gives the bottle a particularly vigorous squeeze. “You’re the one who’s practically living with him. I don’t suppose you’ve tried to take a peek at his Amazon history?”
“Have you met Q?” James asks. “Does he look like he has an Amazon history?”
“You never know until you ask. I did get one thing, though. He let slip that he hopes it’s proper autumn weather for the party, nothing too warm.”
“Which means he’s worried his costume might be too hot.”
“Got it in one,” Nomi says, reaching over to spear one of James’s falafels with her fork.
“It’s a start,” James admits. “All right, then. How’s it going with Eve?”
“Not bad,” Nomi smiles. “Did what you suggested. Forgot about trying to flirt and just, you know, asked her things. Asked her what she was reading these days, actually. She’s always got a book on her.”
“And?”
Nomi pulls a book out of her purse. “Biography of Josephine Baker.”
“Where’d you get that?”
“Nicked it from her when she wasn’t looking.”
“You’re joking.”
“Of course I’m joking.” Nomi rolls her eyes as she slides out of the booth. “This may come as a shock to you, but I do have an Amazon history.”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"Trick," the first part of my sp00qy season 00q/NomiPenny double feature, is now up on ao3!
By way of background, each part is meant to be complete in and of itself, and can be read alone. However, they cover many of the same events, so they complement each other and reveal different details of the story. (At the same time, each story has slight spoilers for the other, so bear that in mind when you are picking which to read first!)
This part is primarily 00q, with NomiPenny in the background, and the second part, which will post in a few days, is primarily NomiPenny, with background 00q.
I've taken wild liberties with canon here, folks. This fic looked at post-Spectre canon and responded with a Mariah Carey "I don't know her" gif. This fic looked at canon and threw an exploding pen at it. This fic is also unrepentant fluff, because I think we've earned it, don't you?
I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and stay tuned for the NomiPenny feature coming very soon!
This is another (very short) bit from my sp00qy season 00q/NomiPenny WIP, which is a double feature exploring the run-up to Moneypenny's annual Halloween party. Finished work to include a top secret mission from Tanner, copious amounts of bribery, Nomi kicking someone off a building, probably a smidge too much harissa, and a secret weapon with a romantic streak. Heads up that it will be a bit of a different vibe from my last two or three fics--this will be more "it's so fluffy I'm gonna die dot gif," and less "(hopefully) thought-provoking angst with a muted palette." Excerpt below the cut.
“It would have been even harder for Q before Bond retired, wouldn’t it have?” Nomi asked. “Loving an agent. Seems awfully uncertain.”
Eve stopped typing. “Loving anyone at all is uncertain, 007. If people here understand that a little better than everyone else, I like to think that gives us more of an advantage, not less.”
Nomi swallowed. “I never took you for an idealist, Ms. Moneypenny.”
Eve smiled. “We all have our flaws. Now give me back my office, I have work to do.”
