#noelee

I close both locks below the window I close both blinds and turn away Sometimes solutions aren't so simple Sometimes good bye's the only way

Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park

Fiona closed the curtains after ten minutes of watching through the window, her eyes lingering on the dark car that got fatter and fatter with each box. She hurried out of the door, her legs bouncing on the few front steps of the house she’s lived in since she was at Hogwarts. She met eyes with another girl leaning into the trunk of the car. The woman did not have Fiona’s blood in her veins, matching neither genes nor the same mind, but she did ironically share her last name.

Fi walked over to the car and helped the girl situate the last box in the trunk. “So this is it?” she asked.

“Guess so.”

“Can’t believe you moved out before me.”

“Can’t believe you’re still here,” she paused, “Actually I can.”

the surface is getting hotter  I'll shove your head under water

Once Theo might've thought Noelee had a healing effect on him, but he doesn't anymore. She's gotten a little more fucked up with each day, he thinks, and it rubs off on him when they're together. Probably vice versa, too.

They have an unspoken agreement where they don't talk about anything, not really. Anything but. Escape. Theo can rarely get his head straight but Noelee only jumbles it more. She's rarely sober, he's rarely sane.

It makes sense that they do rather than say, looking for that rush that life doesn't like to give them anymore.

"Don't look down," Theo says, voice sliding like his hand on her neck.

Another twirl of the quill between Joseph’s fingers managed to send the drop of ink hanging on the tip splashing onto the parchment. The essay he was meant to be writing lay accusingly in front of him but he had more on his mind than the history of the Weakness Potion. Rather the question of whether his girlfriend wanted to go to this social event thing the school decided to organise was plaguing his thoughts.

Of course there was the possibility that she would have to go anyway as one of the staff chaperones but he wasn’t sure if she wanted him there with her. He wasn’t really sure if the dance was something them as a couple should do and if she’d approve. On one hand she didn’t want to go which was fine with him as he didn’t particularly feel like being in a crowd of teenagers who’d undoubtedly have spiked the drinks. On the other, Noelee did want to go but she was just waiting for him to ask her. While he loved her headstrong personality, he still wasn’t quite sure of how traditional she was in these matters.

It was a question begging to be answered, leading him to drop the quill and push away from his desk to make his way to her.  

The knock on her door was swift and impatient and unlike him but he was already on the verge of just turning around back to his room, so when it opened before him, he fought to calm his restless body down.

“So, uh, is the dance a thing we’ll do?” he managed to blurt out, so unlike the calm façade he had planned on having.

His fingers tapped a beat behind his back, inconsistent with the one that his body was begging to bounce to. Looking back on the situation, he realised that his shirt was a little too unbuttoned since the heat of his room to be modest, his sleeves rolled up to show the thick bands of healed muscle that lay across his arms, all in his haste to get there before he lost his nerve. It was curious, the way he acted whenever it concerned Noelee.

“Really, Joseph, you’d think that you could at least open the door for me-“ she cut off at the sight of him still in bed.

He just made a noise of acknowledgement low in his throat as he swung his legs out of bed to pull on his school trousers, too tired to be self-conscious of Noelee standing in the middle of his room.

“… Well, you better hurry up if we want to get to breakfast on time,” she finally said as he shuffled past her to brush his teeth. “Adorable as you look all half asleep with your hair sticking up like that,” she added under her breath after he’d retreated behind the bathroom door.

“Hmm, morning,” he came out looking much more awake, giving her a minty peck on the lips as he moved toward his wardrobe.

His hair looked normal, which made Noelee wonder if it was acceptable to make him go a day in his bed hair because it was just adorable.

“What’s that?” the question startled her out of her plotting ways to make it happen to see him looking suspiciously at the camera held at her side.

“It’s a camera obviously,” she said as though he were an idiot, which made him roll his eyes.

“Right, sorry, my mistake. Why do you have a camera then?” he asked drily, folding his arms, clothes forgotten.

“To take pictures, duh,” she used the same condescending tone as she lifted the camera, “Smile?”

“No, I thought we already went through this,” he groaned.

“Er… I love you? Ha! There, you smiled!” she grinned as she quickly snapped the moment before it passed.

“Well, good,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist, bending his head to press his lips to hers. “Because I love you too,” he mumbled into the kiss, feeling her smile in return.

He let his face rest in the crook of her neck after he pulled away, where that smell of hers he so loved was strongest, arms still wrapped around her.

“You need a shave,” she remarked above him.

“Alright I’ll head over to Dex’s later then,” he smiled into her neck, not wanting to move.

“We should really get to breakfast too,” she made another half-hearted attempt to get him moving, though she didn’t want to either, not really. It was evident in the way her hands ran over his shoulders, enjoying the way his muscles twitched and tensed and relaxing with just her touch.

A short laugh escaped his lips, his warm breath coasting across her neck, making her shiver. “It can wait,” he said even as his hands in the small of her back hugged her closer to him.

The sky was always endlessly fascinating in its way of seeming to extend forever. That was exactly what Joseph was staring at, almost studying it, when Noelee’s voice called him to the bathroom. She wanted help figuring out how to do something it seemed.

“Do what?” he wandered into the bathroom, hands in pockets. She lifted what apparently looked like a box of hair dye to study the tiny instructions printed on the back.

“I’m dying my hair-” his assumptions were correct then.

“Can’t you use magic for that?” She was a witch after all. And even if she couldn’t find a spell he was surely there was a better potion than whatever the muggles concocted. He didn’t voice his thoughts however as she fixed upon him her normal unamused stare.

Sighing, he made for her to pass him the box – it was her hair she was risking after all – he attempted to register the instructions and decided if it didn’t work, it was impossible.

-

It was a long time later when Noelee stood in front of the mirror with hair so obviously dyed it was almost annoying to look at. If they’d done this with magic it would’ve come out way better. Not to mention she looked better brunette.

“Yeah, this looks horrible on you, Noe,” he couldn’t help but voice his opinion. Surely she must’ve realised it too.

“Shut the fuck up, no one asked you!” he wanted to laugh at how defensive she got over the comment. She realised then. Still, if he did she probably would’ve murdered him on the spot so he settled for raising an eyebrow at her.

“You know what… you’re right, let’s dye it pink.” He kept his mouth respectfully shut this time, though his eyebrow remained raised at her reflection in the mirror.

His fingers stroked her hair absentmindedly as they lay in silence. Her head was tucked under his chin, her ear pressed against his chest as she just listened to his heart beat. It was two weeks before they left the castle for good, unless they got a job there again years later, but it was their last two weeks before everything would be sent spiralling to fate. They’ve always just lived in the moment, never discussed what would happen when they finally graduated. Another thing they didn’t talk about – the future.

He spun a metal band between his fingers; it’d been there for a while now, since that London trip where he snuck off to the jeweller.

“Can’t we just stay like this forever?” she sighed, and he breathed in the strawberry smell that he loved.

“Only if you love me,” he teased, smiling at the ceiling.

“Of course I do.”

“Good, then you wouldn’t mind this would you?” he’d made up his mind in that instant, showing her the silver band that held no ornaments because he couldn’t afford it.

Her eyes flickered to his hand, “Wait is that-“

“Marry me?” he asked in all seriousness, they were still in the same position. “I just- Well- I need you, and I know we never talk about the past or future but for once…” he trailed off.

“Yes.”

"Dad? Dad." The word took a while to break the stupor Joseph was in.

It'd been a week since they split for good and she was gone and it hurt.

"I'm hungry Dad," the sentence made him look at the boy, really look. He looked so similar to him, already then, Joseph could only hope he didn't turn out the same broken man.

"Come on then," he flashed a tired smile at his son.

He's hers too.

The thought made his face contort into one of pain again. Jasper had never seen him this way before, it was all before the marriage.

A flash of their wedding day.

She looked so beautiful and so happy then.

He stumbled and caught himself on the wall in time. The pain in his chest felt like it was crushing him from the inside.

A small hand slid into his and he met the gaze of the boy staring at him in concern. He couldn't fall apart, he couldn't afford to.

Although he had a serious aversion towards that word, Al couldn’t help but wonder if he would someday find a way to get himself numb. Feeling, after a while, was exhausting both physically and mentally, not even considering the emotional part of you that gets completely washed up by how much it’s being used. Your mind starts losing focus, your brain stops working properly and you noticed you can’t manage to pay attention on classes anymore because you’re everywhere but there. You start looking for something to occupy your mind and take away those sensations inside that drive you up the wall. Your body start claiming for the absence of things that may concern you more than the emotional pain, and you end up giving up on eating, sleeping, just so you can get so physically weary you end up falling asleep without actually trying. Everything is pretty much laughable.

He didn’t run to the library because he felt he would be safer there, he ran because he knew it was the only place his privacy would be respected, considering how many final exams everyone in that school were going to take. He was lying to himself though, and to pretty much everyone else, because he just couldn’t focus. He couldn’t focus on something that should be much more important than his feelings, he was losing his sleep because he did what was going to be best for his physical and emotional health and he was still putting them on risk with his irresponsibility and lack of attention to his needs. Once again he was putting someone else in front of himself and he couldn’t allow himself to do that anymore.

Gathered around the room were different types of people - the first years, studying because those were the first tests they would go through; the fifth years, studying for their OWLs and the seventh years, studying for their NEWTs. There were also people from different years, mostly Ravenclaws, especially because if you didn’t fit the first three categories, it wasn’t really that important to study for the exams. Unless Astrid hated you; in that case, you should work really hard if you planned on not failing the year.