Suffering

I'm hoping to do a December writing challenge, since I'm on break for college, I should have more free time now.

Halo Reach belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

1. Snow

Cold, and though she may enjoy winter, she didn’t enjoy it while working. She hated trekking through the snow to enemy bases, only to get snow underneath her suit because it was snow. It didn’t matter if it had a tight seal; water still seeped through. Avery flexed her fingers and brushed away the snow forming on her armor.

“How are you doing, Six?” Kat remained at the window, watching outside. Right. They were at a broken down farmhouse waiting for orders from HQ, and of course, they had to wait while it was snowing outside. “Not used to the cold?”

“I like the snow.” Avery rubbed her arms. “I hate working in the snow. There’s a difference. I’m wet and cold.” She pouted at Kat’s snicker, crossing her arms. “You can use my name, you know, we’re alone.”

“So you prefer to be called Avery.” Kat turned to her, enjoying the flustered sputter that came from her, and motioned her over. “Why tell me?”

Avery tilted her head as she came closer. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me your name, your family… I thought Jorge would be the first one. Why me instead?”

“You were the one in my files.”

Kat let out a snort and leaned up, reaching out to tug Avery closer. “Carter has access to them, even the inked out ones. You could’ve told him.” 

“I could’ve.” Avery slightly frowned. “Do you not want to be told?”

“No! That’s not… that’s not what I’m saying.”

“I’m surprised too.” Avery took Kat’s hand, enjoying the warmth radiating from her. “I hadn’t planned on telling anyone at first, then I did plan for Jorge to know, but stuff happened.” She smiled at the memory. “I was crying on the roof when you found me, and… you let me cry. You didn’t tell me to stop or explain myself. You were just there.”

It surprised her, seeing Avery without the helmet and crying. Kat couldn’t remember the reason, just letting her get it out and then making sure Avery went to bed. “I didn’t expect to find you there. Would you ever tell me why?”

Avery softly chuckled. A small smile appeared before disappearing. “That’s something I rather keep a secret.” It was too early to tell. “Maybe after Reach. You take me out on a nice dinner, then maybe I’ll tell you.”

“Bribing me, Noble Six?” Kat flicked her visor. “I might have to call you princess with all these demands.” She wished Avery didn’t have her helmet on. It would be easier knowing if she flustered her or not. “What if I took you out for dinner later? Somewhere nice and warm, though, you would probably order an iced drink.”

“Hey.” Avery took a step back, feeling her hand get cold after letting out; Kat felt a little disappointed as Six scooted back, and to her surprise, Avery slipped her helmet off. Revealing her slightly red face and pout. “Hot drinks are still gross even in snow.”

“Alright.” Kat glanced down when Avery held up her hand. What did she want? She placed her hand on Avery’s. “Where would you want to go?”

Avery let out a hum and scooted closer. “There’s a moa burger place in New Alexandria.” Her face became serious. She moved to cup Kat’s cheeks. “This means you can’t die on me, Kat. You’re too important… Do you understand that?”

“Spartan III’ fate may to be disposable, but together, nothing can stop us.”

“Promise?”

What if I told you were my dream?

Halo Reach belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

17. Rest

Another explosion had her flinching in her spot. She should know this by now. Ships flying through the sky, the ground shaking with fighting. She’s slept during missions before, so what’s the difference now? She had to rest because she was a Spartan. Avery had to remain focused.

Avery squeezed herself tighter and narrowed her eyes at the dark sky. It was her favorite time. The sky was a dark blue; the moon shines down, barely any clouds cover space, as the stars illuminate across the world. Now the Covenant carriers and UNSC ships covered the sky. Nothing could shine down.

She almost jumped when a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, the person taking a seat beside her. “You’re supposed to be resting.” Kat moved her hand to hold Avery’s. It felt like yesterday they were sitting at the base, watching the night sky together. “Your watch is coming up soon. Can’t have you falling asleep on the job.”

“I…” Avery wished she could think of some retort back. Something to make her laugh… even if it was for a moment. “I’m sorry.”

“How many times will you apologize?” She winced at Kat’s tone. Despite it being quiet and not angry, it was tired. They were all tired, from the war, from fighting. Here she was, moping in her guilt. “Jorge did what he did to protect everyone. He wouldn’t have… let anyone take his place.”

“I know… Kat, I…” It was hard to talk. She focused on how warm Kat’s hand was. She was here, on Reach; it was so empty in space, cold and alone. She glanced up when her hand got squeezed.

Kat leaned forward, resting their foreheads together. “Sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s your turn.” She ran her thumb over Avery’s knuckles. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”

“I’d rather be awake with you.” 

“I will be here.” Avery wanted it to be true, but with war, anything could happen. She didn’t- she couldn’t handle another loss. “We need- I need you at full strength. Can’t have you dying because you were tired.”

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, taking in how warm Kat was. “Too many people count on us. I can’t let anyone else die. Not anymore.” Her brothers, Jorge, wouldn’t die for nothing. Avery ignored the cold when Kat leaned back. “I promise.”

“And you?” Kat hovered her hand over Avery’s heart. She couldn’t feel much beside the gentle rise of her breathing. “Playing hero is going to get you killed eventually.” Did she have a choice? Avery didn’t know if she would ever be free to live, and wasn’t humanity counting on her to protect them? “Do you have a dream?”

“There is…” She had one, one that she buried deep inside. “I would love to see a waterfall. I heard they are so loud, but pretty and deadly if you jump off of one.”

“I hope the first thing you were going to do wasn’t to jump off a waterfall.” Kat let out a sigh at her silence. Of course, Avery wanted to do something as stupid and dangerous as that. She could see it now; Avery getting soaked cause she wanted to get close, climbing the rocks. “After we save the planet, we’re going to take a vacation and I’ll take you to one. Just as you remember to take me on that date.”

Avery didn’t deny that it sounded nice. “Kat, you- I didn’t think you remembered.” She asked when everything seemed hopeful; drunk with happiness and peace. Even with being launched into space to that cruiser, all she could think about was Noble Two. She wanted to survive to get back to her. She had forgotten the shadow following her. Death was always behind her, taking anything good away, reminding her what she was.

“Were you hoping I didn’t?”

“No! I didn’t… mean it like that.” Avery focused her gaze on the window. “It’s a nice thought, but I don’t think I could leave.”

“What do you mean?”

“You think ONI would let their Grim Reaper go like that? They will follow me no matter where I go.”

Kat wished Avery would look at her and not outside. She moved her hand back up, pressing it to Avery’s cheek. “It doesn’t matter what they think. They have no control over you. You’re part of Noble.” It didn’t go unnoticed when Avery flinched. Kat pulled her back and tilted her head up. “We’ll figure out a way to get you there and never have to worry about them again. I will show you a waterfall. No matter what happens, I will keep that promise to you. I’m not leaving.” 

Avery sucked in a breath. She laid her hands on Kat’s shoulders and leaned forward, pulling away just as their lips brushed together. “You can’t die until then, okay? I’m holding you to that promise.” 

A ring. What does it symbolize? A tie to love, or is it just a piece of metal?

Roza wants Avery to take a chance while Avery's fear keeps her from it. Should she take the chance?

Halo Reach belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery, Roza) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

17. Ring

The box felt heavy in her hands despite it being so small. Avery ran her thumb over the top of it, it was smooth and worn. She remembered when Erick had got it; it was new and shiny; he was so excited to give it to Roza, he practically bounced off the walls. The engraving said Rose with a feather and rose, 8.08. The day they met. 

“Erick was always the romantic type.” Roza let out a low hum, a faint smile reaching her lips, though her eyes were glossy. “I bet he didn’t stop talking about it.”

“Never.” Avery shook her head, trying not to catch her eyes. It was always painful to talk to Roza; she hated the sad look, hated what Erick’s death took away. “He was… so proud of it… saved all his money and used it all up on it.” 

“Of course, of course he did.” Roza took the box from her and opened it, another sigh leaving her at the sight of the ring. It was basic. Simple and plain and she wouldn’t have it any other way; silver bands that wrapped around each other. “He said he would get a better one… something more pretty. I said I loved it the way it is.” 

“He was worried that it was too plain.” Avery remembered Erick pacing around in their shared bunker. He drove Aaron slightly insane with his worry. It was a… bittersweet memory, something to make her smile and cry. “I told him you would’ve accepted a ring pop if it meant you could marry him.” 

Roza laughed, rubbing her one eye. “Erick. I loved that dork.” Though she didn’t aim to be malicious, Avery winced. She hated how her failure caused this. If she had been faster, more focused than Erick would’ve… he would’ve been alive. Right? “Avery.” 

Avery glanced over at her. “Roza?”

“Erick would’ve wanted you to have this.” Avery tried to protest as Roza passed the ring box back; Roza shook her head and pushed it to her. “I… I can’t ever wear it… it’s a painful reminder to me of him. But if I know you have it, then I can rest easy. I know it’s in good hands and will bond a new love.” She took a step back. “Erick wanted you to have a life like ours, filled with friends, family and… love.”

“Roza, you and Erick shared a rare thing. Spartans don’t have time for love. I-I don’t think I can love like that.” 

“I may not be like your brothers, but I can read you.” Her gaze softened. It had been so long since she saw Avery happy, or had others to rely on (that she was open with). “What was her name again? Catherine-” 

“Roza!” Avery gave her a frown, a red hue flushing her cheeks. “She is my teammate. It’s inappropriate and never going to happen.” Had she been this obvious- if so, then who else knew? “Noble Two is someone I trust to have my back.” A Spartan life- no- her life wouldn’t allow her to have something that precious. “And even if… if I wanted it, it couldn’t happen. We’re at war.” 

“It would disappoint Aaron hearing you say that.” Roza crossed her arms, her lips pursed. “They wanted you to live your life. They died hoping you would continue to live. How would Aaron and Erick react to seeing you now?” 

It snapped something inside her. It would disappoint Aaron and Erick in her, her life now. She knew she was still keeping herself locked up in fear of losing it all; she was terrified of losing her friendships from either her superiors or death. Her brothers died in a flash. What’s saying that couldn’t happen to Noble? 

“They would say why I wasn’t living and just surviving! You know that, and you know I can’t!” Avery grabbed her helmet from the table, trying to blink away the heat. “If anyone found out, they would shut it down! They would limit what debriefing she gets because of what I’m from. How could I do that to her? Just because I wanted it?!” 

“That’s it? You’re going to make that decision just because you fear the future?” Roza stood in front of her before Avery could make it to the door. “You don’t even know how she feels. Avery, you don’t get to run away when it’s difficult.”

“I’m not running!” 

“Yes, you are!” 

The door opened, making the two turn towards the light. “Is everything alright in here?” 

Avery didn’t answer and put her helmet back on, head turned away. Roza shook her head and went back to her desk. “Nothing is wrong.”

“Avery…”

She didn’t want to answer Kat, digging her teeth into her lip. 

“Walk with me-” The alarm went off before Kat finished, red flickering in the hallway. A moment went by- it felt longer than that- before Kat took a step back and Avery followed her. Her mind raced. Half of her was screaming to get it over with and the other said to be reasonable. There wasn’t time. She moved without thinking, tugging on Kat’s hand.    

“I’ll tell you once the mission is over.” Avery felt a tremble go through her body. Why was this so much harder than going against her enemies? “If it’s okay-” 

It's my birthday! I'm kinda excited, I had planned to write something with a birthday but here is some angst, the birthday will come tomorrow.

There's more to this story, but with school and family reunion stuff, I'm really tired. I will prob finish it tmr

Halo Reach belongs to 343 Industries.

My Spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

17. Do you have to follow me?

              Like now, Six reacted only by the slight tilt of her head and nothing more. Kat also couldn’t understand why her vocalizer was changed, what was the spartan hiding? “Carter ordered us to stick together, as your partner for this mission, I will protect you.”

“The signal is in the building, southeast, leaning towards south.” 

Kat almost jumped at the robotic sounding voice, head jerking up; Six was right, the signal was coming from the abandoned building in front of them. She frowned as the spartan slipped past her, walking straight towards it, so much for listening. Didn’t Holland say she followed orders without trouble? She let out another huff and hurried past Six. “Follow behind, I have the front.”

If Six protested, Kat ignored it, reaching to open the door. Her hand gripped the knob; Arms wrapped around her and pulled her back. Kat yanked herself away. “What do you think-!” She never got to finish, Six shoving her to the side as the door opened. A loud boom echoed across the field, followed by a bright flash. Kat let out a groan as she was knocked back onto the ground. Different warnings flashed in her visor.

“Noble Two, Six, what was that?” Carter’s voice broke through the static. “We heard an explosion near your location.”

“Right in front of us…” Kat pushed herself to her knees, eyeing the exploded building. “It seems to be a trap; the bomb was set to go off when we opened the door. Six was… was…” Where was Six? She scrambled up, wincing at the growing ache of her muscles, trying to find the spartan. “She pulled me away before it exploded, but I, she…” The words tasted disgusted on her tongue, there was no way Six could’ve gotten hit. “She pushed me away before it exploded.”

“Noble Four and Three are heading to your location now. Where is Six? Are there any injuries?”

“I can’t find her.” Kat kept scanning the debris; Six had bright red highlights to her armor, how was she blending in? “I don’t have anything serious, but I can’t say for Six. I can’t find her.”

“Don’t panic, we’re on our way. Four and Three should be arriving soon.”

“I said NO!”

Kat perked up at the yell, her heart gave a thud against her ear as she ran closer to it; Her shoulders dropped for a moment, seeing Six with Emile and Jun. Then it hit her like a brick, the bright red wasn’t her paint, it was blood. It splattered against the wall behind Six and covered her armor. She couldn’t breathe, there was so much blood.

“Get off!” Six hacked out, “I said to find Two first, my injuries aren’t of concern.”

              “You have something sticking out of your stomach.” Jun said with a hint of annoyance. “Let’s get you to safety, Carter said-.”  

              “And I said-!” Six doubled over, her body shaking as she coughed; Kat guessed that if Emile wasn’t holding her, she would be back on the ground. “My life is not of importance, ONI can suck-” Six let out another cough “can suck it. Two is more important. Find her, and I will get medical treatment. Not until we find her.”

              “You’re an idiot.”

              Emile glanced up. “Looks like you’re liked by our new Six.”

              Kat shook her head, the closer she neared Six, the more her hands trembled. Her mind pounded in her head; Why did Six take the blow? There wasn’t a reason, they both didn’t like each other, and she knew Six knows her suspicion. Not to mention with her poking at the Spartan’s files, it would’ve been better for her to take the bomb.

              “Six.” Kat’s mouth felt dry, there was so much blood. “Six, you need medical attention. You’re hurt.”

              “Find Two.” Six hissed out, her head jerking up to look at Kat, falling back down with a groan of pain. “I pushed her away, I didn’t know where she went. I lost her.” Her voice broke off as it cracked and Six shook, slowly collapsing down.

              “And you found me.” Kat kneeled, taking Six to lean on her instead of Emile. “I found you.” Six flopped her hand over until it hit Kat’s visor. “But you need medical attention, okay? Carter called a Falcon. We just need to wait for it to arrive.”

              “Hurt?”

              “No…” Kat glanced over at Jun and Emile. “No, you protected me.” The world spun as Six slumped further in her hold. “Six, you need to stay awake. Okay?” She didn’t like the silence, even though it was usual for the spartan to stay quiet. Kat motioned at the two. “Help me get her to a safe place, we need her helmet off to make sure she stays awake.”

              Jun joined her on the ground. “Her ribs are most likely broken; I don’t know if any other bone is broken.” He moved down, if he was affected about the damage down to her armor, he didn’t show it. Six let out a groan as they hoisted her up, moving over to a more secluded area. Emile stayed behind, watching their backs. “Evac is 10 minutes away.”

              “10?” Kat asked, her tone not masking the frustration. “Where’s Carter and Jorge?”

              “Don’t know. He said they were enroute to us.”

              Kat didn’t reply; She sat down and reached for Six’s helmet, trying not to focus on the large crack on her visor. Six's hand caught hers. She almost jumped, even like this, Six still wanted to hide her face? “I have to take your helmet off, I can’t… I can’t tell if you’re awake or not. It’s important that you stay awake.”

              “I can stay awake.” Six let her hands fall despite her comment.

              Not wasting time, Kat took slid it off; Six’s face was sweaty and smeared in blood. Ocean blue eyes flickered up to hers. Ocean. They were bright, focused, staring right at her. Kat took a moment, reaching up to brush away the hair sticking to her forehead, her hand stopping at Six’s cheek. Six nuzzled her palm, or the best she could do without moving much.

              Kat didn’t think she would find Six to be so human. The pain lingering in her eyes, the blood on her skin, it was red. All of it was human. She took her palm away and turned back to Jun and Emile. “Are there any med packs?” Six shifted behind her. “Anything to stop the bleeding.” A small med-pack was dropped on her lap; Kat turned back to Six, she gave a smile, revealing her blood-stained teeth. “That works.”

              “Habits from being solo.” Six’s eyes started to flutter, and Kat fumbled with trying to open it. Why was it so difficult? “‘M tired.”

              “You need to keep your eyes open- you have no bio-foams?”

              “Nah, don’t need them.”

It's June, yayish. I made myself cookie dough today, and I tossed in sunflower to finish it off and now, I can't tell if it tastes peanut-buttery or not.

And I'm finally finalizing Avery a bit more, I haven't decided how tall tho. This story is set in Infinite, where Avery is brought back to the field to fight, but gets to meet the revived Noble team.

Halo belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

1. Day Six.

Avery paced around the room; she was told to wait by Commander Agryna. There was something for her. It wasn't here until the afternoon. That did not freak her out. She didn’t circle the base for most of the morning. She argued it could just be new gear coming in. Yeah, that could be it. Avery fished her phone out of her pocket, something Roza insisted on having when she was in her recovery period after…

She didn’t enjoy waiting. She didn’t like being kept in the dark. The commander hadn’t let a single detail slip, nor would anyone, for the matter. What was so important to keep her? Avery narrowed her eyes. 1:02, yet no one was here. She took a deep breath, tugging on her collar. Maybe she could put her armor back on. Regular clothes felt too light.

A creak jerked her out of her thoughts. She saw the door opened reveal someone standing there. Avery blinked twice. The tattoo of a fist holding 3 arrows reminded her of… Jun? His green spartan armor was gone, replaced by a suit. She didn’t think he would even like that clothing. She heard there was a surviving member of Noble, but couldn’t find anything.

Then the guilt came crashing down. It squeezed her stomach and she couldn’t talk. She wasn’t ready to face him; how could she when she let the rest of Noble die? Avery turned her head away, staring at the ground.

“What? Didn’t miss me, huh?” Jun stayed in the doorway. They told him no one made it, not that they found Six’s body and did whatever. He didn’t know what to feel when he found Avery still alive.

“Jun.” The silence felt suffocating now. “I… shit, I’m sorry.” Her heart pounded in her chest. She wanted to run or hide, to do anything, but this. “I… I failed.”

“What do you mean?” He ignored how his hands twitched at his sides. “I should’ve been there, Six, not with the doctor. She could’ve made it on her own.”

“You were following orders.”

“So were you.”

“My mission was to…” Avery cut herself off, letting out a snort. It was ridiculous.

Jun glanced up at her, his head tilting to the side. “What’s funny?”

“It’s just… I thought you would hate me.” Her earlier panic was slowly catching up to her body, clinging to her eyes. “I didn’t visit, didn’t bother with making sure they were telling me the truth. And now, I’m thinking I was being stupid with worrying.”

“You won’t hear any disagreement from me.” Jun shrugged at her glare. “They… they lied to me too, said Noble was dead. Not bothering to tell me your body got found on Reach.” He looked up at her, his hand hovering over her arm. “Avery, there’s something else as well.”

“It’s been ten minutes!”

“Kat, we shouldn’t-”

Her heart dropped into her stomach. Did she hear that right? Kat… Kat? Avery took a step back from the door and brushed Jun’s hand away. This couldn’t be right; she saw what happened, there wasn’t a way- didn’t the second voice sound like Carter?

“Avery, listen-” Two figures appeared at the door, the one behind trying to draw them back away from the room. Jun tried to block the view. “I haven’t told her yet.”

“Told me what?” Avery tried to focus on Jun, and not the person who looked exactly like Noble One and Two. Nope, not looking. “And who are they?” She didn’t know what answer she wanted.

“ONI did something. Poke at something they shouldn’t, like always, and brought them back.” Jun slowly moved away from the door. “Noble is back. Shocking, I know.”

So when I said things should be calming down, things got to shit real quick. Like plz, could the drama stop.

Anyways, I saw the new season for Halo Infinite and it's cool. I like seeing my spartan in cutscenes, it really adds into that you are there.

Halo Reach belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

1. Invisible

Despite the heavy armor and bright red highlights, most didn’t notice her presence unless her skills were called upon. Avery didn’t care. Her duty was to serve humanity, to protect them from danger. She didn't need to be anything else.

Yet, there’s this bubbling feeling inside. It threatened to boil over every time she was with Noble team; the light brushes against her arm, her name being called by them, seeing them all grouped together. She felt it pound at her chest, watching them from the corner. Sometimes she felt herself reaching towards them.

Avery rubbed her neck, the feeling returning as she observed them chat as they ate. The cafeteria providing a nice noise distraction. She tried to focus on random conversations rather than the one here. Hearing Kat laugh sent the feeling twisting in her stomach. It bubbled until it reached her heart. She didn’t know why or how; her chest tightened, she couldn’t breathe.

She stumbled up. It made the conversation pause. She knew their eyes were on her, but she dashed away. Avery didn’t stop until she was alone in whatever hallway she chose; she hit the wall with her shoulder as she took a deep breath. The feeling only tightened its hold, and she gasped, reaching up to press her hand to her chest.

“Avery?”

The voice echoed in her mind; the voice changing to Aaron’s. She remembered why she never bothered with friends- she couldn’t handle losing more people. It would be better if you didn't get connected at all. Her duty gave her a purpose.

“Is this what you want?” She remembered Aaron asking her once, a look in his eyes she never understood. “To just fight and kill when you’re commanded to. Is that what makes you happy? What’s your choice, Avery?”

Avery gasped again, sliding down the wall. He had been so upset that day. She couldn’t understand why he had asked her that. Why had he had a look in his eyes? Was it sadness, or possibly anger? It was something. She didn’t have any complaints about her life; a spartan’s duty is for humanity. She would fight with her life to protect others. She was okay with that. There isn't time for anything else.

She is okay with that. The feeling told her otherwise. She gripped her shirt tighter; it bubbled in her throat. Everything she pushed back came rushing back. Was it a mistake to join Noble? She wanted to be with them, to enjoy their company; playing a card game with Jorge, discussing mission plans with Carter, fighting enemies with Emile, doing scout missions with Jun, and Kat. It felt peaceful when they were there.

“Avery? You just ran out. Jorge got worried.”

She shouldn’t have gotten close. She remembered why she pushed everything back. Avery slowly looked up and saw Kat standing beside her. “... I… I’m scared, Kat.”

Kat sat down beside her, Avery fought with herself, wanting to hug her. “What are you scared of? If you’re worried about the upcoming mission, then-”

“No!” Avery buried her face in her knees, not wanting to show her teary eyes. Embarrassment flooded her body. This had to be childish. Death is a part of life. Something that is drilled into them during training. “I just… I…”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kat’s hand felt warm on her shoulder.

“Kat,” Avery dared to peek through her arm, “I fear losing Noble.” Kat blinked and leaned back before squeezing Avery’s shoulder.

“Even if we don’t have that fancy title of yours, we don’t die that easily.” Avery released a shaky breath when she leaned into Kat, squeezing her eyes shut as she listened to her steady heartbeat. “We may be Spartan III’s, but it will take a lot to kill us all.” Kat slowly reached up, running her fingers through Avery’s hair, relaxing as Avery did. “I’ve never… seen you like this. What happened?”

Avery kept her head pressed against Kat’s shoulder. “I… Aaron used to ask me these life questions a lot growing up. We had a big fight before… it happened. He wanted to know if I was happy with my life. You know,” she narrowed her eyes, “being a good follower for orders, I didn’t care, not when they were dead. Then I came here.”

“Oh?”

“You guys confuse me.” Avery pulled back. The bubbling feeling disappeared, but her heartbeat didn’t slow. “I can’t lose anymore people, okay? If I do, I’m going to break and no one will fix it. If Noble dies, if you die, I won’t be able to deal with it. It’s too much.”