drake spear is singlehandedly one of the most twisted things in aftg, and his link with andrew is insanely cruel. i imagine an impossibly, too young andrew, chubby cheeks and tousled blonde hair, wide childish eyes coming to Cass Spear. A pleasant, soft woman who is all warm, sweet oatmeal cookies, hugs that smell of cinnamon and unconditional love. Andrew has his own room for the first time in forever, and he has never been so ecstatic to stay at a house in his life. Steven is done and gone now, he will never touch Andrew again.

His bed is warm and made and decorated, he gets to pick his bedsheets and watch cartoons after dinner and he thinks that this is heaven. This is what a family is meant to be. That Cass is an angel sent to deliver him salvation and maybe he can have this, the perfect life in a three-story home that he used to see on those Disney Channel shows. Andrew Spear and his new life, it would be called, so impossibly white surburban, and he decides that he will never leave this place in his life.

Cass' son returns from the military, a man named Drake, and Andrew can't help being slightly excited. A new brother, Cass talks him up, who is lovely and smart and paternal. He will take care of Andrew, he must be a great guy because he's in the military, and Andrew has never been more of a child in his life.

He is too young when Drake starts creeping into his bedroom - when he hears the door creak and as the nights go by he begins to feel inescapable dread, he begins to feel the hands before they've even touched him. Say please if you want me to stop, but it never stops, ever. There is blood and fluids he was too young to name covering him, and these painful, shameful nights begin to blend together as Drake continues his residence there.

There are times when Drake Spear disappears back to his placement in the military, most likely - as characteristic of the military in the late 80s to early 90s - wrecking some third-world country, damaging the lives of others Andrew could not see. But Andrew had long since lost his sympathy at that point - his biggest hope was that Drake died in combat. But the house was hell and he never got his wish. He thinks of the oatmeal cookies and Cass when he first takes the razor to his wrist.

More time goes by and no, he thinks - no amount of oatmeal cookies is worth this. He brutes his way into a shop on the high street near the house, setting off every alarm he could and standing there until he could see the red and blue lights he desired. He is locked away, and Cass cries, but he does not. He can't help but resent her slightly, although she couldn't have known, the effects of her doting personality and blissful naivety burn in the form of fingerprints on his body.

He is locked away and he doesn't think he's ever been more grateful for confinement in his life. In adult prison this might've differed, but nobody touches him without consent in juvie. He experiments with who he wants to as the time passes by.

He finds he likes men - and such a realisation shouldn't have been so cruel. If he was younger, he would've declared this a God's idea of a cruel joke. Isn't it awful? Isn't it cruel? All these years resenting the touch of a man, his intimacy ruined by monsters with wandering fingers, unconsenting touch - all just to desire them anyway. An awful, awful joke and a chilling resolution that burns his soul down to the pit.

He gets letters in prison - despite not considering himself to have a family - from a man who calls himself his brother.

I'm Aaron, he writes. He seems too nice, too nice to suffer through what is waiting for Andrew when he gets released from juvie. So Andrew asks Higgins for a spare piece of paper, ignoring the smile on the man's face when he hands him the pen, scribbles a GO AWAY! on the paper, adding an exclamation mark on the end for extra measure, addressing it to the boy, his replica who calls himself Aaron Minyard and handing it to Higgins with no expression on his face.

The letters keep coming.

LEAVE ME ALONE. Andrew writes next, but the letters keep coming. Aaron tells him about his life, despite the FUCK OFF he gets back, about his highschool and his cousin and his family. You can come live with us, Aaron writes, and he's got Andrew ensnared - hook, line and sinker.

They meet for the first time - Aaron is pleasant as he can be, but there is a dilation to his pupils, a skittish staleness to his movements, and his clothes cover too much for a boy of his age. Aaron Minyard is sheepish smiles and undershirts and clutched wrists. He plays Exy, he tells Andrew. Injuries happen in scrimmages.

Andrew plays Exy too, and no scrimmage could produce such a beating, unless Aaron was placed on a team full of grizzly bears. Mom says you can come live with us, Aaron tells him. The opportunity to get miles away from Drake Spear is a thankful one, and Andrew takes it, despite his suspicions about Andrew's mother. Tilda is a shrunken woman who makes terrible attempts at pleasantries - Andrew dislikes her on principle. (The fact that she abandoned him has nothing to do with his prejudice against her.)

She beats him, Andrew's suspicions were confirmed. Don't touch him, he warns, and she agrees with a nervous smile. But she didn't listen. Andrew decides to take her for a day out - thieving his brother's clothes from his wardrobe and forcing his face to function like Aaron's is a truly herculean task. He offers to drive and she takes that as an opportunity to get shit-faced, screaming at Andrew and hitting him, and oh, this is how she normally treats Aaron?

Andrew crashes the car.

It turns out escaping from Drake Spear was one hell to another. Aaron informs his family — a tight-ass, balding man named Luther and his mentally absent wife, the both of them insufferably Catholic - and their son Nicky — of the occurence. Luther asks Andrew about his old foster home, and Andrew doesn't spill his guts out to the man, but he details of Drake Spear and his shameful exploits and oh! How could he have been so mistaken! How could such a thing happen between two boys? It must have been a sort of misunderstanding!

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