Aug 27, 2020
I got the freaking promotion... except no more money for now... but my back it’s grateful.
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I got the freaking promotion... except no more money for now... but my back it’s grateful.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sometimes I remember the movie Moonlight, and a sob comes out of my mouth. and I start tearing up. I feel a void in my stomach. The levels in which I can recognize the loneliness and isolation of Chiron it’s so painful.
I have been writing my thesis and this chapter is about masculinity, fatherhood, what it means to be a son in a patriarchal society full of misogyny and homophobia and I can’t stop thinking about all the lgbt movies that I love and I can’t stop thinking about my fears of intimacy and I can’t stop thinking how this hegemonic masculinity has fucked up my father, my brothers and my ability to express my emotions even though I wasn’t raised as a boy (I’m a trans dude) and yet, here we are, full of hatred, without the ability to put into words how I feel, unable to tell people that I love them, and it pissed me off so much.
It’s most likely that I have my top surgery on Wednesday. *deep breath* I still cannot believe it.
every time a bus sounds its claxon my brain thinks it’s the earthquake alarm and I get anxious and I hear every little sound and I stand alert and god, my nerves are wrecking me. today there was another earthquake. I didn’t feel it but the sound of the alarm has stuck in my brain. I haven’t sleep well since tuesday and my stomach has been not well.
I think this is what people call “triggering” I guess.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today is my birthday. I'm officially 30 years old
When I was young I thought I would die before hitting my twenties and now my twenties are over. This has been quite a trip. I feel like this year was the year where I actually tried to get better, after so many years of depression and self destruction.
i just came back to say that I'm so done with my job, sigh.
I’m so tired. I just wanna nap all week. I’m so depressed it’s not funny anymore. Sigh.