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Me: Do you know which stabs hurt the most?
Me2: stabs by your loved ones?
Me: No silly. Stabs OF Love. Your Loved Ones can't stab you.
Me2: Oh, what are stabs of Love like?
Me: 2:26am stabs. When you have been busy trampling over your own garden, letting the grass grow too high. Allowing the spiders to fall on your right breast and flicking it to the ground. Growing the tomatoes indoors because the garden is no longer suitable. Where will you put them when they need the ground? What soil will you provide them with? Your white soil is stained in urine. Despite these games you have been playing. Despite the cleverness your mind is bathing in. Despite the blackened face you walk around proudly wearing...
God stabbed you.
So hard.
So sharp.
I asked for death before I, reluctantly yet desireably, dosed into sleep this morning. I begged You to stab me. I begged for the death eating monsters to crawl into my being and take me from here if I didn't want to serve You any longer.
And You did.
You ripped off my hoodie.
I felt the pain in my ribs.
The heaviness of my heart.
The difficulty of my breath.
You stabbed me...
With Your Baani.
How could I have thought that asking You for death would have been painful. I asked You for death and You blessed me 30 minutes of Love.
Me2: How can we repay God for such an immeasurable gift?
Me: Guru Ji told us in Lesson 1 during the 3rd Pehr of the night:...Amrit Vela Sach Nao, Vadiaaee Vechaar...
Me2: So why do these stabs of Love hurt?
Me: Because God made you worthy of receiving them, even when all you've been doing is ignoring God. It hurts because of the lack of trust and faith you have in your being to not make this mistake again. I tell you, me2, listen, *take every moment as it is*. Trust yourself, Guru Ji is in charge of *everything*. Do not forget. Keep remembering.
тАв JusKeeRut тАв 16тАв04тАв17 тАв 2: 41am
