#niky.write

Seeing him chase his dreams had always been something that made me happy, and being a part of it not only as his assistant but also as his best friend meant even more to me. I’ve known Joe since elementary school, when he defended me from a group of boys who were trying to humiliate me in front of almost the entire school because of a stupid bet they came up with when they were bored. From that moment on, Joe decided he would protect me, and that’s how a friendship that has lasted until today began.

“you are really not going there with me?” Joe asked me. He had an event for a brand he collaborates with, and as the face of the brand he obviously had to be there.

“I have work that can’t wait and you know I’m not a fan of big events like that” I said, lifting my head from my phone and looking at him.

I’d be lying if I said that seeing Joe shirtless didn’t affect me anymore. The truth is, it brings me to my knees every single time. Suddenly the room or even the air outside feels heavier. My heart beats faster than ever and I catch myself biting my lip. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but physical attraction is nothing compared to the feelings I have for him. It’s been a few years since I accepted the fact that I’m in love with my best friend, and that the chances of him feeling the same way are very small.

For years I’ve listened to people saying how perfect we would be together, how they always thought we were a couple or that one day we definitely will be because we’re made for each other. Oh, how much I wish that were true, but I know it isn’t. Why risk a friendship that has lasted for years? Why risk the working relationship we’ve built together? As much as I wish my feelings were returned, I don’t want to lose him as a friend, as the person who was in my life long before these feelings appeared. Risking all of that just isn’t worth it if it means losing the best person in my life. Because our friendship means more to me than what I feel.

“I know, but I was hoping you might come today” he said, looking at me with hope written all over his face.

“Why do you want me to go? And besides, I have nothing to wear. I’m sure you’ll manage just fine without me, and then we can get something good to eat when you get back” I said, taking a sip of my coffee and watching him button up his suit jacket.

“Maybe I want you there with me. I’m here only because of you and we could enjoy some free drinks. And those dresses you bought today are perfect for tonight. Come on y/n, please.” Joe walked over to me, leaning closer than he probably should have, watching me carefully.

“I have work Joe, you know how it is. Even if I went, I’d keep leaving to take phone calls and I don’t want that” I sighed. His presence made me nervous, yet somehow calm at the same time.

“And even so, I still want you to come. Please, do this for me.” 

When he looked at me with those blue eyes of his, it was hard to say no and he knew it very well. He knew it would work on me and he knew I would do anything if it made him happy.

“It’s getting late, I don’t have time to get ready, Joe” I tried to protest, even though I was already prepared to go with him.

“Even if it means coming an hour late, as long as you go with me, I don’t care. And when we go back, we can stop by McDonald’s” he raised an eyebrow and smiled at me.

“Fine, but I’m only doing it for McDonald's,” I sighed.

“Go get ready,then” he said, stepping back and taking my hand to help me up from the couch in his hotel room.

So I went to get ready, feeling the pressure of time and knowing I had to hurry. As someone who likes to be prepared and is organized, these situations always stressed me out more than they probably should. I took a quick shower and moved on to my hair and makeup. Since I didn’t have much time, I went for a very simple makeup look and pulled my hair into a tight ponytail. It took me about twenty minutes, but the result looked good, which calmed me down.

I then moved on to the dress I had bought today. I hadn’t planned it, but it was love at first sight and it was the easiest decision. It was a long, form-fitting gown in a deep burgundy color. Strapless, with a straight neckline that beautifully accentuated my shoulders, neck, and collarbones. The cut was sleek, hugging my figure, visually slimming my waist, with a slight gathering at the hips to enhance my curves. The dress was simple, minimalist, yet stunning and as if by fate, it was absolutely perfect for tonight.

I put on the dress and only then did I realize I couldn’t zip it up by myself, so I had to call Joe for help. A moment later, there was a knock on the door, and a second after that the door opened.

“I’m in the bathroom!” I called out to him.

When he appeared in the doorway, my heart started racing uncontrollably, and the air suddenly felt heavier. I watched him in the mirror’s reflection, unable to form a single word. As he came closer, I could feel the warmth of his body and in that moment, it felt like my knees might give up. I felt his breath on my neck, sending shivers all over my body and I was certain he noticed. His hands gently touched my back and with slow, careful movements, he zipped up the dress. I kept my eyes on him in the mirror and he kept his on me, only briefly looking away to make sure the zipper was fully up before returning his gaze.

Even though he didn’t have to, his hand lingered on my back longer than necessary and after a few moments, the touch finally disappeared.

“You look… you look stunning y/n” he said in a softer voice, his eyes scanning me from head to toe, which made me nervous.

Standing behind him like that, I felt so small… yet safe. In his presence, it was impossible to feel anything else but that I didn’t have to be afraid.

“Thank you. You look good too” I said, smiling.

“I’m sure all eyes will be on you tonight” he said, though his voice didn’t sound enthusiastic.

“I hope not. I don’t like being the center of attention. I’m only going because you asked me to” I replied.

“I know… I’ll have to keep an eye on you” he said and his words gave me butterflies in my stomach.

“Really?” I smiled, though his expression didn’t seem as excited as mine.

“We should go, it’s getting late” I said, walking around him.

As his assistant, it wasn’t strange for me to be by his side at event like this. It wouldn’t have been the first time, but it didn’t happen often that I attended events with him. Most of the time I stay in the background and that suits me just fine.Today was an exception and honestly, it felt strange, all the noise and chaos, the crowd of people greeting each other and exchanging quick conversations. The event itself was rather uninteresting for me, as I was constantly handling things related to Joe’s show that was coming up in Paris. After a while when I returned, Joe who had been talking to someone immediately stopped and gave me his full attention.

“Where have you been so long? I was looking for you and didn’t see you anywhere” he said, just loud enough for me to hear.

“Sorry about that. Some people can be persistent and then I ran into someone I know, so we end up talking” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

“Oh, okay then” he smiled and took a sip of his own.

“So… you were looking for me, huh?”

“Of course. I’ll always look for you in a crowd, to make sure you’re okay” he said, and his words gave me butterflies again.

“I’m here and I’ll always be okay as long as I’m with you,” I smiled at him.

“I know, angel,” he said, sliding the chair I was sitting on closer to him, and I felt like my heart skipped a beat.

The evening went on much the same way phone calls, emails, several times I had to step away and every time I came back, someone would stop me. It was no secret that I was Joe’s assistant, and there were plenty of people here doing similar work, so there was always something to talk about with everyone. Still, even though I had expected this event to be dull, it turned out to be busier than I anticipated or wanted, at least for me.

“Joe must have a really packed schedule” came a voice behind me. I wasn’t expecting it, and it startled me.

“Oh my gosh… oh, yes, he does. Sorry, you scared me” I laughed, though my heart was racing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Mat,” he introduced himself.

“It’s okay, nice to meet you, Mat. I’m y/n” I said, and we shook hands.

Mat was the kind of man who could immediately catch a woman’s attention just with his looks and knowing that he plays professional hockey only adds to his attractiveness. It was hard to believe he was real, because men who look like that usually only exist in fiction. Of course, I knew who he was, my friends had told me about him more than once and I had seen him a few times on tv during games. But seeing him in person was a completely different experience. He was undeniably attractive, yet I have to admit, it didn’t affect me at all.

And I was afraid to admit that no other man in years had been able to awaken in me what only Joe does and he doesn’t even know it. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always had trouble finding someone, because no one is ever Joe.

“I have to admit, I know your name,” he laughed.

“Oh really? How’s that?” I asked.

“I’ve seen you several times by Joe’s side and it’s hard not to notice such a beautiful woman like you. Joe’s a lucky guy to have someone like you,” he said.

“Thank you… well, honestly, I don’t even know what to say. I’m just doing my job, haha. And even before I became his assistant, I was his friend and that hasn’t changed” I explained, even though I was sure it wasn’t necessary. But situations like this had happened many times before, it became a habit to me.

“So… you and Joe…?” he looked at me, and he didn’t even have to finish the sentence for me to understand what he wanted to ask.

“No, it’s strictly a friendly and professional relationship” I said. I had said it countless times, and it always hurt.

“Oh, I’m glad to hear that, because Joe seemed… or seems… quite jealous that we’re talking,” he said. 

My eyes immediately flicked to where Joe was sitting, watching us from a distance, his expression far from pleased but I tried not to assume it was just because I was talking to Mat.

“I’m sure he’s not jealous… sometimes he just looks like that when he’s had enough of people and would rather leave” I explained, though I wasn’t entirely confident in my answer and I didn’t want to say it out loud. When I looked at Joe, he seemed annoyed, but again, I didn’t want to blame Mat.

“If you say so… So, since you’re just friends, could I ask for your phone number?” he said to me with a smile. A question any girl would probably want to hear, it is Mat Barzal that I'm speaking to. But my mind was focused only on Joe.

“I can’t, sorry… I have to go, but it was nice meeting you, Mat” I said and without another word, I made my way to the table where Joe was sitting.

I sat down and took a sip of my drink, suddenly feeling my throat dry up. If I had tried to speak, I don’t think a single word would have come out. Joe ignored me and I felt that even if I asked if something was wrong, I wouldn’t get an answer, but I tried anyway.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, looking at him, but he didn’t glance my way.

“Yeah, did you get everything done that you wanted?” I sensed a hint of irony in his question, and I didn’t know what to think of it.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Good,” he said.

And that was where our conversation ended. I had very mixed feelings, I had no idea what had happened or what was going on, yet I knew the mood had shifted. I’ve known Joe for too long to miss small changes like this, but I couldn’t understand why or what had caused it. Of course, Mat’s words ran through my mind, but it didn’t make sense why Joe would be jealous. Still, the thought that he might actually be jealous felt strange. I had thought about it many times before, but it had never been such an intense feeling as it was now.

The drive back to the hotel was silent and Joe’s coldness made me both nervous and frustrated. No matter how many times I asked him if something was wrong or if everything was okay, the answer was always the same. But I’m not stupid, I could see that something was off. Eventually, I gave up asking, knowing that if he wanted to tell me, he would. The elevator ride wasn’t any better, which only added to my frustration, making me question myself and feel as though going with him had been a mistake.

“Good night,” I said as we reached my room.

“Hm, good night,” was all Joe said before heading into his own room, closing the door behind him without even looking at me.

I had never imagined that the evening would end like this and it made me so angry. I wanted to storm into his room and get him to explain what this was all about and why he was acting the way he was. But in the end, I went into my own room and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath and went over to the bed, sitting down and trying to calm myself. I was confused and exhausted, so I decided to take a shower and get ready for bed.

I lasted longer than I expected, but after fifteen minutes of lying in bed, I gave up and decided to go to Joe. I couldn’t just let it go and the only way to find out what was happening was to go to him and ask, even if I had to force the answer out of him. I grabbed my room card and ran out of my room. Not wanting to make a scene, I knocked on his door and waited for him to answer. But he clearly wasn’t in a hurry, so I knocked again and after a while, once more. Just as I was about to knock again, the door opened and Joe stood there already changed into comfortable clothes.

He let me into the room without saying a word and that made me even angrier.

“Can you please explain to me what’s going on?” I didn’t wait for him to start speaking, because I knew he wouldn’t say anything on his own.

“Nothing’s happening, everything’s fine.”

“Do you really think I’m that stupid and will just believe you?” I stood by the window, watching him as he looked everywhere but me.

“I never said that” he said. For the first time, he looked at me, but only for a few seconds.

“Then tell me what’s going on… Since we left, you haven’t said a single word to me” I said with a sigh, rubbing my face with my hands.

“What do you want me to say, y/n? What do you want to hear?” His voice rose as if he was getting frustrated himself.

“Anything, Joe! Just talk to me!”

“What do you want me to say? That I’m angry you were talking to that hockey player, that he’s been watching you since we walked into the room? That you spent most of the event with everyone but me? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

I stared at him in shock, turning toward him, trying to figure out if I was really hearing this or if I was just imagining it. 

“What are you talking about Joe?” I needed to know I wasn’t dreaming.

“I’m tired. I can’t keep it inside me anymore and pretend I’m okay.”

“I still don’t understand what the hell are you talking about, Joe” I said, feeling like my heart was about to stop beating

“I love you! Do you understand now? I love you and seeing you talk to him was the last straw for me. I can’t keep pretending I see you as just a friend y/n!”

It felt like a dream, I couldn’t believe this was happening, I was sure I'm just imagining it.

“What? Please don’t say things like that if you don’t mean them Joe. This isn’t funny…” I couldn’t believe it was real.

“Have I ever lied to you, y/n? Never. And I mean this with my whole heart. I love you and I can’t go on like this… Probably, this will ruin everything…”

“I love you too” slipped out of me before Joe could even finish his sentence.

“What?” Our roles switched and now he looked at me in shock.

“You heard me right, Joseph. I love you. I’ve loved you for far too long and honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t gone crazy from it yet, because let’s be honest, it’s been a long time. And I’m tired too, Joe. You're not the only one tired here.” I could feel tears welling up and I was seconds away from breaking down completely as it finally hit me what was happening.

“y/n…”

“I’m tired, Joe… of pretending everything is okay, when all I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is to be loved by you.” My voice broke on the last word and then I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I started to cry.

Joe was instantly by my side and the moment he held me, I melted into his arms. His touch was exactly what I needed in that moment and knowing that he loved me too made it a completely new, overwhelming feeling.

“I’m here, love. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours and you’re mine. From this moment on, I’ll prove to you every single day how much I love you. You deserve all of this and so much more. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I was an idiot for not telling you sooner. God, every time I saw you with someone else… I was so scared I’d lose you. y/n… my love…”

Joe turned me to face him and when I looked into his eyes, they were full of tears, eyes filled with love, fear and peace all at once. That tenderness, that care, that happiness on his face, it was all there and I knew that this was finally our happy ending.

I could see the love that had always been there, but I had been too afraid to acknowledge it. The love I had waited for so long, the love I was ready to fully give him, the love I wanted to share only with him… after years of waiting, hoping, believing that maybe one day it would come back to me, it finally happened.

He cupped my face in his hands, brushing away the tears that had been streaming down my cheeks and only then did I realize I was still crying. His touch was soft, gentle and I felt like I was his entire world. The way he looked at me… I never imagined it was possible to fall in love with him even more than I already was, yet I did.

“Love, I’ll keep repeating this for the rest of my life if I have to, but I want you to know that I love you. I love you with all my heart and I’m willing to bring you the moon and stars, anything your heart desires. I want you to remember that this is forever and you will always be the only woman I ever love. Only exception… if one day you want a family and we have a daughter…” His words about a family hit me and I couldn’t help but smile, because I’d lost count of how many times I had imagined it.

“If we ever have a daughter, I’ll give her the same love I give you. I’ll do everything to make sure you’re both loved and happy. y/n… you’re the only one. You always have been.”

“Kiss me already, Joe!” I blurted out.

“What?” he asked, surprised, looking at me.

“Ki—” Before I could finish, his lips were on mine.

If this was a dream, it was the most beautiful dream of my life. For all those years, I had imagined what it would be like, would it be like in my daydreams? Would it be even better? Would it be like in the movies? So many questions, but that one moment, when his lips finally touched mine, was completely different from anything I had ever imagined.

I was afraid to move my lips, my breath caught, so I just parted them slightly. Joe took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. And he did. My body felt like it was in heaven. His tongue intertwined with mine and I struggled for every breath I lost as his kisses became increasingly addictive. When he pulled back, I felt strange, yet happy and content, as if the universe had finally aligned and everything was exactly as it should be.

Our foreheads pressed together, both of us smiling as the realization slowly sank in, we were no longer just best friends and colleagues, we were now two people who loved each other.

“Will you let me love you and protect your heart?” he asked in a softer voice.

“My heart has always been yours, love.” I smiled and kissed him again, this time fully aware that Joe Burrow will forever be the man of my life.

The one and only.

yourusername

liked by bambinobecky, livvydimartino, calfreezy, taliamar and 23.634k others..

yourusername: life has been really good lately 🥺

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bambinobecky: gorgeous gorgeous girl

⤷yourusername replied: after u beautiful ❤️

⤷liked by bambinobecky

user647773: when will you post a new golfing video?

⤷yourusername replied: hopefully soon, been busy so I didn't have time!

⤷ user647773 replied: can't wait!!!

user5357: you're so beautiful, I'm in love 😩

user64673: speechless 😍😍

taliamar IG story

bigwedgegolf

liked by wroetoshaw, zerkaa, miniminter, calfreezy and 8.367k others..

bigwedgegolf: We've been cooking again.. 👨‍🍳 Another banger video with a special host coming your way this weekend!

View all the comments

user9826: can't wait! 🔥

user14552: i need to know who is the host!!!

user24362: omg maybe it's yourusername!!!

⤷ user6784 replied: that would be insane! imagine y/n and Harry playing golf together!!!! 😍😍

⤷ user24362 replied: i might lose my mind

⤷ user6784 replied: me too girl!!!

user0983: this one will be a banger video

bigwedgegolf & yourusername

liked by yourusername, yourbff, miniminter, wroetoshaw, zeerka, calfreezy and 12. 335k others..

bigwedgegolf: the new video is OUT NOW!! 🔥 watch how yourusername destroyed the boys.

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yourusername: It's been a pleasure boys!! hopefully see you soon 🤭

⤷ liked by bigwedgegolf

user64673: that video was insane! I couldn't stop laughing, the boys were trying so hard but never succeeded against y/n, she's a real pro!

user7626: i don't think I've ever seen Harry struggle that much, y/n really made him incapable to play.

user9847: oh my god, my girl absolutely smashed it!!

user12846: am i the only one who thinks y/n and Harry looked good together?

⤷ user7475 replied: no you're not!! they looked so cute together

⤷ user9253 replied: idk if you've had noticed but Harry was flabbergasted and so amazed by her. i swear i saw heart eyes🤭

⤷user20836 replied: yes!! and i can't blame him, just look at her 🫠

user8342: she's really good, it was so entertaining to watch this video and I'm sure boys learned so much

user2095: i hope we will see y/n once again! the video was amazing

yourusername

liked by yourbff, taliamar, wroetoshaw, calfreezy, georgeclarkey, chrismd and 45.267 others..

yourusername: took the time off and went for a vacai 🌊

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yourbff: i fear I'm in love

⤷liked by yourusername

⤷yourusername replied: i love u bby

taliamar: you're so gorgeous, it actually hurts

⤷ liked by yourusername

⤷ yourusername replied: stop it, I'm blushing 🥺

user9520: omg Harry, Chris and George liked!!!

⤷user1270 replied: he definitely yapped his heart out to them after he met y/n 🤭

⤷user8646 replied: i can't blame him! if i was him, i would be immediately in love

⤷user235 replied: i already am

sabinablair_: that body of yours. bestie I'm so into you 😩

⤷liked by yourusername

⤷theburntchip replied: why are you stealing my fiancé yourusername?

⤷yourusername replied: sorry, I'm better than you 😝

⤷sabinablair_ replied: sorry baby 🤭

livvydimartino: wifeyy 💍

⤷yourusername replied: you areee 🤍

wroetoshaw

liked by theburntchip, yourusername, chrismd, calfreezy, geoergeclarkey, yourbff, italianbach and 845k others…

wroetoshaw: hello

tagged: theburntchip, chrismd

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chrismd: was it necessary to post that last photo Harold?

⤷wroetoshaw replied: yes Christopher

⤷chrismd replied: pretend to be shocked

sabinablair_: i wasn't familiar with your game theburntchip

⤷theburntchip replied: neither do i with yours and yourusername

⤷yourusername replied: I'm innocent in this 😌

⤷wroetoshaw replied: we're doing what you two do

⤷sabinablair_ replied: are you jealous??

⤷theburntchip replied: no

⤷wroetoshaw replied: no

calfreezy: so much happened, time to go home and breath the London air asap

⤷theburntchip replied: i have no idea what are you talking about Freezy

⤷chrismd replied: right? nothing happened

⤷wroetoshaw replied: it was amazing!!

user8931: was y/n on vacation with them?

⤷user0282: i was thinking the same! seems like she went with them

user382: 🔥

user1938: hope you've had fun!

user27291: amazing

yourbff

liked by yourusername, sabinablair_, bambinobecky, georgeclarkey, livvydimartino, italianbach, wroetoshaw and 5.798k others…

yourbff: had the time of my life with my best friend, met new friends, drank many margaritas and sex on the beach, ate insanely good food and danced til the sun came out 🤍🌅

tagged: yourusername

View all the comments

yourusername: I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I love you so much 🥹❤️

⤷liked by yourbff

⤷yourbff replied: i love you so much baby ❤️

livvydimartino: had a lovely time 🥹

⤷liked by yourbff

⤷yourbff replied: 🫶🏻🥹

bambinobecky: love you girlies

⤷liked by yourbff & yourusername

⤷yourbff replied: love you too

⤷yourusername replied: love you Becky 🫶🏻

user028: i love your friendship

user8342: 😍😍 besties

sabinablair_: girls trip only next time!!

⤷yourusername replied: I'm in!!

⤷yourbff replied: i totally agree!

⤷livvydimartino replied: 100%

•••

,,Why are you in my bed?” were my first words after I woke up with pulsating pain in my head then I noticed him laying in my bed.

,,Calm down y/n, please” he said, still asleep.

,,Just tell me that nothing happened between us, please!" panic ran through my entire body after I noticed his bare chest.

,,I promise nothing happened between us. Now please calm down y/n.” he yawned and rubbed his eyes.

,,Then why are you naked in my bed, George?!" i couldn't calm down even after he said nothing happened.

,,I'm not naked, I just took my shirt off because it was so hot in here! How can you live in such heat? Please calm down, I promise nothing happened." George pushed the duvet away from him to prove to me that he wasn't naked. Even though he's the only one I trust the most.

,,Okay, okay. I believe you! So at least explain to me what happened.. ohh my head!” the pain in my head was so terrible that I felt like throwing up again.

,,I don't know why I'm surprised, but you really don't remember anything?" he asked in surprise.

,,If I did, I certainly wouldn't be asking you George. So?" I looked at him. I can't lie, it was really hard to ignore his naked torso.

Being an ordinary girl with an ordinary job in a group full of men who are famous on the internet, whether as YouTubers or artists, is sometimes difficult. But they never made me feel like I didn't belong. Especially George, of course the other guys too, but George was closest to me from the beginning. I never had a reason not to trust him, he always supported me, he always knew how to make me laugh and listen when I needed to get it out. And because of all of that, one day I realized that I saw him as more than just a friend. But I knew that no matter how beautiful the idea of ​​being in a relationship with George was, it would never be real. So the idea that something would happen between us while I was drunk and I wouldn't remember anything about it scared me. Just like the idea that I said something he shouldn't know. Like the whole truth about my feelings for him. 

"Well, after you almost threw up on some random guy who tried to flirt with you, I took you outside to get some fresh air, where you were throwing up on my shoes a moment later. Not to mention when you almost hit your head. You're lucky I caught you, or it would have been really bad." The pride on his face was hard to ignore, he looked really proud of how he had handled it.

"Oh my god, I'm never listening to Harry again. Is there anything else I should know?" I hide my face with the pillow, and wanted to disappear from this world.

"Well.. there's something else" he said mysteriously.

I don't know why, but by the tone of his voice I figured that this would be something that would make me ignore the world and people around me for a few weeks, maybe years, maybe for the rest of my life.

"Oh no, you know what? You better not say anything, I don't want to know." I don't know if he understood me, but I didn't care. I was already ashamed of myself.

"I'll tell you anyway.." he snatched the pillow from my hands, but I still had my eyes closed and wasn't planning on opening them. "When I tried to take off your jacket, your eyes shine up when you look at me, am I that attractive y/n?" he said and in shock I opened my eyes to look at him to see if he was serious or just kidding. But I was surprised when I saw his face too close to mine for my liking.

I had to be too lost in my thoughts and self-pity to notice that his entire body was closer to me than he had been a moment ago.

"George, I have no idea what you are talking about" the fact that his face and lips were so close. my heart was pounding like crazy, I felt my hands sweating and breathing started to be harder for me.

"Am I really attractive to you? Answer me y/n" his smirk made me more nervous than ever in my entire life.

"Stop talking nonsense George." I wanted to push him off of me, but his hand stopped mine which caused my heart to skip a few beats.

"I was kidding, don't worry." His laughter and giggles filled the room. On the one hand I was relieved, but on the other hand I was filled with a kind of emptiness and disappointment. I have no idea why I thought for even a second that George could see me as anything other than just a friend.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" I got up from my bed and only then did I notice that I wasn't wearing pants, just his sweatshirt I once stole from him a while ago and underwear. I ran to the closet, pulled out my shorts and went to the kitchen to make coffee.

George continued to lie in my bed as if nothing had happened, while I wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

"Maybe sometimes I am, but you still love me right? Y/N? What, we're not talking now?" I kept ignoring him even though I had a huge urge to tell him that I love him. But not as a friend.

"Y/N, I'm sorry if I did or said anything.." I knew he was standing right behind me. He rested his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. It was nothing new for us and I can't imagine my life without those moments. The only moments that are so special to me, moments when he's so close to me.

"You didn't do anything and you know I love you." I leaned my body against his and closed my eyes.

"Can I confess something to you?" George said after a moment of silence.

"Of course you can." I said, but didn't pull away from him.

,,my eyes shine up every time I look at you.” he said in a lower voice, but so that I could understand him.

"What? What are you talking about?" this time I pulled away so that I could see his face.

He didn't say anything, his eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. When his face started to get closer to mine, I felt like my heart skipped a few beats. But I had no idea what my body could do when he kissed me. Everything in my head stopped working, I couldn't think, I couldn't understand what was happening, I couldn't breathe. The millions of butterflies in my stomach, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my life. He pulled me closer to him with his hands, since I didn't realize how my body had gone limp and I almost fell off my feet. George deepened the kiss and I finally came to my senses and understood what was happening. When he pulled away after a while, I was still gasping for breath.

"Geor..." I was afraid to open my eyes because I couldn't believe what had just happened.

I was sure I was still sleeping and dreaming.

,,I should have done this so much earlier. When I told you that my eyes shine up every time I look at you, it's because I'm in love with you y/n. I've been for a kinda long time, I was just scared to tell you, you know.” he said and I was completely speechless.

"I.. I" I didn't know what to say and I felt like a fool.

,,Just say you love me too y/n..” George laughed, he pushed a strand of hair away from my face and a chills ran through my body.

,,I love you too George.” I whispered.

,,I know you do, you've already told me that.” I looked at him in a surprise.

,,What? When? Oh my god..” I wanted to hide my face but he didnt let me.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Harry said and got up from the big couch we were sitting on with other people.

"Sure, I'll be here." I told him with a smile, leaning against the back of the couch and sipping a beer that didn't taste the best, but it was better than nothing.

It was finally Friday, but I still had to stay at work longer, since we started working on a new project that was more complicated than we thought, so I came here straight from work. Cal or Calfreezy, invited us to his place to have fun and talk with friends, and that's why I didn't even have time to go home to wash and change. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tired, but I finally have the opportunity to socialize and spend time with Harry. He's more busy than me, so that means we're seeing each other even less. But I was looking forward to this weekend because we were supposed to spend it together. I missed him so much and this was finally the time when I would have him all to myself. Even though we've only been together for a little over a year, it's been the best year of my life. He's exactly the person I've been looking for in my life and I knew I wanted to spend my future with him.

After some time, when Harry didn't come back, I decided to go find him.

"Hey y/n.. I just wanted to ask how the party preparations are going.." Cal stopped me and said in a lower voice in case Harry was around.

"Oh, everything is going great, the pastry chef sent me the final version of the cake today so I would say everything is ready." I said and couldn't help but smile.

"I'm glad to hear that, I'm sure Harry will like it!" he said and I smiled even more.

"I hope so, I know he doesn't wants things like that, but I wanted to do something for him. If you'll excuse me, I need to use the toilet.." Cal just nodded and I headed towards the toilets, since I really needed to use it now.

When I was done, I washed and dried my hands and walked out of the bathroom. I still wanted to find Harry and since I left the living room for a couple of minutes, I thought he might be back so I went to check there. But I had only walked a short distance when I heard voices from one of the rooms. Judging by the tone of the voices it seemed like they didn't want anyone to hear them even though there was music playing in the background, but from the place where I was standing they could be heard. And what followed next, I didn't expect to hear even in my worst dreams..

,,What do you mean?” I think it was Randy who was in the room with Harry.

,,I can't take it anymore, I'm tired of lying that I'm in love with her when I'm not. I never have been.” he said and in that exact second my heart broke into a million pieces

,,What are you talking about Harry? Are you talking about y/n? Mate how can you say that?!” Randy asked with a clearly audible shock in his voice. Even though it hurt unbearably, I stayed and listened to what he had to say.

"I know, I just can't stand it anymore, I just can't stand anymore how she constantly asks me something, how she constantly text me.. how she always talks about something that I really dont care about, I have to do things that I absolutely don't enjoy. Her family? I've never met more annoying people in my life, I don't even wonder where she gets all this from. Those books of hers that she constantly talks about, complete nonsense. Ive never listened to her. Whenever I had the opportunity to be alone after filming, I spent that time with her, but when she was busy or I was away, I was so happy that she wasn't with me. She's so annoying ahh.. I've wanted to end it many times but it never worked and I can't handle it anymore. I have to do it before my birthday.." every single word of his was like someone stabbing me with a knife. I was so shocked that I couldn't even cry.

"Did you really have to be that honest?" came out of nowhere as I opened the door to the room where the person I loved so much stood. Harry and Randy looked at me, but only one of them has a shock and regret on his face that he was caught.

"y/n.." Harry said and then I felt tears welling up in my eyes

"Did you really never loved me? Not even a little bit? Did I never mean anything to you Harry? Are you really that heartless?" each question was louder and more desperate. I couldn't believe this was really happening. I couldn't understand how someone like him could do something like this.

"y/n.. please." was all he said.

"You know what? Don't say anything. I don't want to know. I've heard enough." I turned and headed to the front door. I couldn't stay here for another minute.

"I was never in love with you, I'm sorry y/n, I wanted to tell, but I just couldn't. You're too good for me." I heard his words and I thought I was going to throw up right and there. I couldn't believe that after everything he said, he had the courage to aslo say this? With a visible shock on my face, I looked at him but didn't say a word. It was only then that I noticed how everyone was watching us, their faces were just as shocked as mine. I couldn't believe that this was all happening. It was getting harder and harder for me to breathe, my heart was pounding like crazy, there was a lump in my throat that was preventing me from completely collapsing. But I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

I only remember getting dressed and grabbing my bag, but I have no idea how, I don't remember a single moment of how I got out, I only remember completely collapsing a few meters from the place where my whole life was ruined. I've cried many times before, and also because of a broken heart, but never this hysterically. Someone's arms hugged me and I cried even more. I can't even describe how much it hurt, I felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. All the beautiful things we'd experienced together, those plans about our future, collapsed just like that, with a snap of a finger.

The next few days were like a nightmare for me, I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't eat, I couldn't function. My best friend Emma came to see me every day to make sure I was okay. I hated myself for still loving him. I hated myself for still missing him. I wished he knew how much it hurt, how much he had hurt me, to feel every wound he had caused me. I believed that this time it would be different. That he was the one I would say yes to at the altar, that he would be the father of our children. I loved him so much. I loved him more than I had ever loved myself. I loved him so much that I forgot about me. I loved him so much that I dedicated my whole life to him. And he had done nothing but hurt me.

After Sabina calmed me down after a total meltdown, her and Chip driven me home. Cal, Randy, George, even Ethan and Faith and many others called to ask how I was doing and I never knew what to say, so I always lied and said that I was fine. I didn't hear a word from Harry, no messages or phone calls.

On his birthday, I couldn't get out of my bed, I couldn't function. I talked myself out of texting him a million times, not wishing him a happy birthday, not making a fool of myself. I didn't cancel the party I had planned for him, maybe it was a stupid decision, but despite everything, despite how much he hurt me, I wanted him to enjoy his day.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked me. We sat in the living room and were drinking the wine she brought with the words that today was the perfect day to get drunk.

"I guess so." was all I could manage.

"y/n you know it's useless to lie to me.. I know you're not. Talk to me." I saw the hurt in her eyes. How it bothered her that I was hurt.

I stayed silent for a while, but the tears that started to flow down my face said more than any words. I wasn't okay and it will be a while before I'll be okay again.

She didn't say anything, she just hugged me and that's what I needed now more than any comforting words that wouldn't change anything anyway.

I cried, I drank wine, which only made me feel even more like a wreck. The pain inside me doubled to the point where I couldn't breathe, the anxiety and pain in my heart was destroying me and I couldn't stop it.

At about an hour I fell asleep on the couch next to Em. I woke up feeling thirsty and after a moment of trying to get up I went to the kitchen. I poured water into a glass and drank it all and then did it again. I went back to the living room, I didn't want to wake Em up, so I just covered her with a blanket, took my phone with me and went to my room, changed into my pajamas and lay down. I thought about whether to do it or not, but in the end I picked up the phone and started writing.

,,Whether you read this or not, it doesn't matter. Happy Birthday Harry. I hope you enjoyed the party and that you had fun with your friends. You know, I'm not going to lie, I believed that I would be there with you but fate arranged it differently. You hurt me and it hurts a lot, but I'm not texting you because of that. I just want to wish you happiness. That you find someone in your life who you will truly love. I'm sorry, sorry for everything I did, what I said and how I behaved? I honestly have no idea, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't be the person you would sincerely love. That I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be for you. I'm sorry. Your words still haunts me in my dreams and I ask myself what I did wrong, but the truth is that I didn't do anything. I just wasn't the right person for you to love the way I loved you. I wasn't meant for you. And I believe that one day I will understand it from your point of view, because now it's really hard. Anyway, I want to thank you for everything, for every moment we spent together. It was the most beautiful time in my life and it's only because of you. Take care of yourself. I wish you only the best, Harry. y/n.”

"mom?" Molly called, walking into the kitchen as I was trying to clean up the mess we've made. Mason was sitting across from me at the bar table, eating the late dinner I had made for him.

"yes, honey? Is everything okay?" I asked.

"sure, I was just.. I was thinking and I think you should take a baking class." she said it casually. While I looked at her in shock, Mason was choking on the food he had just put in his mouth. Everyone in our family knows that I'm not very good at baking, but no one has ever been as honest with me as my own daughters.

"what.. why?" I would be lying if her words didn't surprise me.

"you know those cookies you baked last time and gave us some to kindergarten?" I was afraid of where this conversation was going.

"yes, honey, I know.." my heart was pounding like crazy.

"well, I offered one to my classmate and when she bit into it, it was so hard that her tooth fell out" I felt like i start crying any second after her words. Mason started laughing so hard that he actually started choking. He got up from his chair, took a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some water, which he drank immediately.

"whaaaaat??? why are you telling me this now? Oh my god.. and what will her mom think of me? Oh my god, I'll never leave this house again!!" I started pacing around the kitchen because this information really upset me and i was thinking about thousands of things that could happen, that i could hurt her, what they'd think of me and many other things.

"mom, it's okay, her mom said you shouldn't give us any more cookies" Melody said after she joined us. Well, I'd be rather if she did not.

The feeling of embarrassment was overwhelming and tears immediately filled my eyes. I looked at Mason and hoped to see compassion in his face, but the fool was still laughing. But when he saw my face, his face immediately changed, but the amusement remained in his eyes.

"come on love, what's with that sad face?" he walked over to me and immediately pulled me into a hug.

"i could hurt that baby Mason, how am I supposed to be okay??" the first sob came out of my mouth and I felt terrible and so embarrassed that I wanted to hide.

"you didn't hurt her darling, she just lost a tooth. nothing bad happened.. come on love" his big hands held me tightly and he tried to calm me down.

"but I could have Mason! that's not funny" the thought scared me.

"my love, look at me," I mumbled no, but he insisted "honey, look at me, please.." I hesitated, but finally looked at him.

"she just lost a tooth, nothing bad happened so please don't blame yourself, okay?" I knew he was right but I still hesitated. I leaned my head against his shoulder again and sighed loudly.

"mommy are you crying?" Molly asked, but I could only mumble the answer ‘yes’.

"mommy please don't cry" I felt two pairs of children's arms wrap around my legs.

"did you hear girls? mommy don't cry" Mason said and stroked my hair.

"but if.. I'll never bake again, if you want anything call grandma Clara or grandma Debbie." I murmured into Mason's shoulder.

"yes mommy, it'll be better if you don't bake anymore" children's honesty is sometimes hard to accept and this was a beautiful example of what children can be. I sobbed again and Mason's arms hugged me even tighter.

"i'm sorry mom, I didn't mean it," Melody said.

"it's okay, honey, you're right," I pulled away from Mason and looked at the girls who were still hugging me.

"are you mad at us?" Molly asked.

"of course not! I would never be mad at you, it just surprised me, hurt my feelings a little but then it scared me you know, but it's okay, it's normal" I said honestly. We try to talk to the girls openly and with honest about everything, so I didn't even tried to lie.

"mommy is sad, but that doesn't change the fact that she loves you and appreciates your honesty" Mason said.

"exactly like daddy said" I agreed, to which Mase kissed me on the cheek.

"we're sorry, mom" ​​they said at the same time and their sad faces literally brought me to my knees.

"don't apologize, come here" I pulled both of them into a big hug. After a while, Mason joined us and hugged all three of us.

The next day i called the girls classmate mom and apologized. Surprisingly she was really nice and laughed at it, saying nothing bad happened, but i should try a baking lessons or never baked again. And I agreed with her.

•••

"mom, you're a real queen!" were the first words the girls said when they saw me in my wedding dress. While playing hide and seek, the twins found my wedding dress hidden deep in the closet, which also brought back many beautiful memories of one of the most beautiful days of my life. We've been married for 4 years but it was the best four years of my life.

"the most beautiful queen we've ever seen!" I'd be lying if I said I wasn't moved by their words. there is nothing better than being a queen for your daughters.

"could we try them too?" Molly asked

"of course you could!"so we didn't hesitate for a second and I helped first Molly and then Melody to try on my dress. of course they were too big for them, but the joy could not be deceived and I was filled with a feeling of love and happiness. along with the veil and shoes, they showed me how they would walk to the altar. despite the difficulty and size of the dress, they managed it and we had so much fun.

"you are both beautiful. I don't even want to believe that one day you two will be also brides" the idea completely blew me away and it completely absorbed me emotionally. they are still too small, but I know that one day this moment will come.

"and we will be just as beautiful as you!" Melody said.

"all brides are beautiful, you will be too, I'm sure of that" I kissed both girls on the cheeks.

"we have a party and I don't even know about it?" I heard Mason while I was in the kitchen.

,,daddyyyyyy!!" the girls screamed when they saw that Mason came home

,,hi my babies. i missed you so much!" i could hear the giggles and kisses. it's their way how they greet each other whenever Mason came home from the match or training or any kind of work he have with a team.

,,we missed you too daddy!" Molly said

,,so party? why i wasn't invited huh?" Mason asked again.

"it's a ball and not a party!" Melody corrected him

"and mom is a queen and we are princesses and we are looking for princes" added Molly.

"princes? never! and where is the queen hiding?" i silently came close so i can hear them better but still left enough space to not interrupt them. 

"but we want princes!" the girls didn't like that they couldn't have princes and I already knew that it would be a long discussion. i was silently giggling because this conversation is hot topic in our household for the past few weeks now.

"but not me, you'll be with me forever!" Mason argued. 

"daddy, you can't!" the twins stamped their feet, they didn't like what their dad was saying at all. Mason is the father that almost every girl wishes for. He loves them more than anything and he'll do the last thing for them. 

"we'll discuss that later!" Mason announced and I laughed.

"here is she!!" both girls screamed when they heard and saw me. My heart started beat so fast and I felt like it was the first time he saw me in a wedding dress again.

“oh my god y/n..” and I knew Mason felt the same way. 

"mom is a beautiful queen, isn't she dad?" Mason and I looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces. 

"the most beautiful queen.. we should get married again!" Mase spoke after a moment and his words made me laugh. 

"stop, I'm going to blush!" he walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my form 

"you still look as beautiful as you did that day y/n" he whispered against my lips and my legs trembled. 

"and I feel exactly like I did that day" I whispered just for him. Mason smiled widely and kissed me. 

"daddy? since mommy is our queen, you are our king?” in this short moment between us, I completely forgot that the girls were still with us.

"of course, yes. well, as long as the queen and her princesses agree..” he looked at me and then at the twins. 

"yes yes yes!!!" the girls were jumping for joy and it made me laugh. 

"you will be my king forever" and I kissed him again.

"will you dance with me Mrs. Mount?” Mason suddenly asked. 

"now?" i looked at him in surprise.

"yes, to our wedding song" his eyes were shining and I had butterflies in my stomach. 

"yes, of course Mr. Mount” we both laughed. 

The girls sat on the couch while Mason and I danced to our wedding song in the middle of the living room. The dimmed light created the right atmosphere and I felt at home in his embrace. He was my home, my happiness, my life, my best friend, my partner, the father of our daughters. Mason is my past, my present and always will be my future.

"I love you" he whispered 

"I love you too" his lips touched mine but we were interrupted by two pairs of children's hands. 

"can we join?"  Molly asked in a quieter voice 

"Daddy?" Molly said. I was just putting the girls to bed while y/n was doing her night routine.

"Yes, angel?" I covered Melody with a duvet, handed her her stuffed unicorn and did the same with Molly.

"Can I ask you something?" she looked at me with a curious look.

"Of course you can. Whenever you want to know something, you can ask me or mom." I told them so they don't have to be afraid to ask any questions.

"How did you meet mommy?" she asked.

"Yes, tell us, daddy!" Melody said out loud. I couldn't help but laugh at that memory, as it is a very funny but unforgettable memory.

"We met when we were both 12 years old. I was already playing football at that age and your uncle Harry, who trained with the older boys, took your mom there a few times. One day, when we were practicing shots, I kicked the ball too hard and the ball hit your mom's head." both girls gasped in surprise and I totally understood their reaction.

"I felt very bad about it and your mom was very very angry at me and she shouted at me and then cried because it hurt her. So I hugged her and apologized until she forgave me. But then she didn't come to training anymore, your uncle was also angry, but he knew that I didn't do it intentionally. A few weeks passed before she came again and I apologized to her again for many times but she said it's fine, but I have to promise her I'll never do it again and I have to buy her an ice cream. So I took her out for an ice cream. Your grandmas left us alone together, but watched over us from afar. From that day on, your mom was my best friend." as I told them our story together, it all replayed in my head again and I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Which ice cream did mom choose?" Melody asked.

"Chocolate and strawberry, these are her favorites." I answered without hesitation. I will never forget that day and her choice of ice cream has not changed even years later.

"I don't like strawberry!" Molly announced.

"I don't like chocolate!" Melody added.

"Molly, you like vanilla, and Melody likes blueberry." the truth is that they like every flavor but right now it's these two.

"Daddy, you know us very well!" Melody said cheerfully.

"Of course I know my girls and what they like" I kissed her on the forehead.

"What happened after you finished the ice cream?"

"I had a match that I had to go to, so I invited your mom and your grandma to join me and my mom. She supported me throughout the match and when I scored a goal, I dedicated it to mommy. But two years after that, your mom moved and even though we tried to keep in touch, it was difficult, so we didn't see each other for several years." Molly sighed, and when I saw tears in her eyes, it startled me a little.

"Why are you crying angel?" I moved to her bed, kissed her forehead and brushed her hair away from her face.

"But you found our mommy after that, didn't you? Didn't you leave mommy alone?" Melody got up from her crib and joined us. I immediately pulled them both into a hug and tried to withstand the rush of feelings I just felt.

"Of course I did! Your mom was the only woman I always loved and if I hadn't found her you wouldn't be here either. One day we randomly met in a cafe shop and I accidentally spilled the coffee that I was supposed to bring to uncle Ben. Mom was really angry, but it didn't last long and from that day we were together almost every day until now." remembering how angry she was when I spilled coffee on her favorite pants and t-shirt, and the look that made me rethink all my life decisions, I couldn't help but smile.

"Molly and I are very happy that you found our mom again, daddy. You are the best daddy!” Melody said and my heart almost burst with so much love and happiness.

"I'm also very happy that I've found her, because without your mom, we wouldn't have you." I kissed the girls on their foreheads.

"Daddy?" Melody asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes, angel?" Melody pulled herself out of my embrace to get a better look at me.

"What did you like so much about mom that you fell in love with her?" Molly snuggled closer to me while Melody grabbed my hand and waited for an answer.

"Her honesty, her courage, she always knew what to say to cheer me up, she's funny and beautiful and she can cook very well" the girls started giggling.

"But she can't bake, eww" I looked at them both in surprise.

"Shh, it has to stay between us, okay?" they both nodded with a laugh.

"Mom would be very angry if she knew." Molly covered her mouth with her hand so we couldn't see her smile.

"Dad, you can't even cook, mom knows at least that." Melody defended y/n. I looked at her with a surprise, but I smiled the second after. Molly laughed while Melody sheepishly buried her face in her hands.

Despite being twins, Melody was always a y/n girl, sensitive, kind, honest like her mom. She was not afraid to say anything out loud, but at the same time she was shy and attentive. Whereas Molly was like me. They both had a little bit of both of us and the older the girls get, the more you can see it.

"That's true honey, I agree."

"Daddy, I'm tired." Molly yawned. By the time I put Molly to bed and covered her with the duvet, she was fast asleep.

"Daddy, you know I love you even if you can't cook, right?" Melody whispered as I handed her her stuffed unicorn.

"Of course I know that. I love you too." I kissed her forehead.

"Good night dad."