#nikosoc

"I used to quite like cooking. It was... relaxing. It's been so long since I've had the time to myself, though; I don't know if I'd remember what to do."

Monsoc set a hand on his arm. "Maybe I can help you," he offered brightly. Ingsoc didn't get time off much, so he wanted him to have a nice time, especially after his emotional disruption lately. He smiled, and Ingsoc couldn't help but smile back.

"I'd love to." His face darkened as he looked away. "I just don't know if it's the most... productive use of my time." He always got nervous breaking from protocol, and felt obligated to overcompensate for emotions by not allowing himself any rest. "I can't place my own desires over those of the collective."

"Why can't you?" Monsoc took his hand. "You do too much already. You've got today off, we can at least get started."

Ingsoc hesitated. He appeared to be desperately searching for an excuse without admitting it consciously. "Well, alright. I suppose there's no harm in cooking for a bit. You never know when you might need practical abilities." He smiled timidly.

Monsoc grinned in response. "Great! What do you want to make?" Sensing he might have a hard time deciding, he added, "I have some cookbooks if you want to look at those."

"Yes, that sounds good. Thank you." They walked together to the cookbooks shelf, and Ingsoc opened one about cookies. "Oh, this recipe looks interesting." He pointed to one for gingersnaps.

"Oh, I love those! They're easy enough to make, we just need two bowls and cookie sheets."

Ingsoc looked closer at the recipe. "It looks like there's a lot in them. Should we pick something else?"

"It's fine. I've got all the spices we need." Monsoc walked over to his walk-in pantry and opened the door, revealing a large spice rack on the inside of the door. He gestured to it like some fancy salesman, then laughed. "Seriously, don't worry. It's a pretty simple recipe. And if you're worried about being selfish, the recipe makes a lot, so we can share them with some other people."

Ingsoc stared in surprise at all the spices. He'd conquered enough countries to acquire them, but spices were an excessive luxury and not something his governemt had the time to care about.

After a bit of admiring the spice display he walked up next to Monsoc. "Shall we begin?"

"Alright! I'll get the bowls and measuring cups, do you want to get the dry ingredients? They should all be in here."

Ingsoc nodded, and started taking spices off the rack. Normally he would feel uncomfortable working in someone else's kitchen, but Monsoc's castle felt like home to him, maybe even more so than his own home. He felt at odds with how clean and shiny everything was, but looking closer, the castle's decor reflected the things about Monsoc he loved, and he felt more comfortable in it every day.

After Monsoc got out all the dishes and the eggs he stood and watched Ingsoc find the dry ingredients. He looked happy. They each mixed a bowl, and then combined the two bowls and mixed it all together. After they put it in the oven, using oven mitts which Ingsoc had knitted a few months ago, they sat down to watch them bake.

They smiled at each other. They were both a bit covered in flour and spice, but that wasn't so bad. There's nothing better than making something from scratch with the one you love.

Gradually, the smell of the cookies filled the kitchen, and it felt like the room itself was alive with everything they'd been through together. Ingsoc smiled, warm spice smells reminded him of things that had long been forced from his conscious memory. He knew better than to feel safe, and yet...