#nighttimeloser

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

“you were never a human being, were you?” is something that i think about every day i can’t explain why

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

like i said in my answer to jay: yes all the time ksgjkrhjdkf

59: green or purple grapes?

1: Write the URL of the person who sent the ask

2: The first three things that come to mind

6: Write something with your non-dominant hand

3. What is their favorite color?

He’s partial to red and pink and bright, light blues!

9. Are they a liar? Are they good at lying?

No. He might, if held at gunpoint, lie. Poorly, considering the lack of practice. But short of that, honesty is hugely important to him and he’d rather hurt someone’s feelings or ruin a relationship than lie.

21. How do they react to praise?

Pretty graciously. Tall, athletic, charismatic pretty boy like him? Deserved or undeserved, he’s never run short on praise.

Thanks for asking! ^u^ Scott doesn’t get much attention even from me, so this was a fun one.

So I got curious and checked my blog activity on the desktop, and hello biggest fans~

@nighttimeloser 

@darkspawntaxcollectors

@stardustprophecy

5. What was your Shepard’s dream job before they became a soldier?

hmm, so my shepard is earthborn (or maybe a mix of colonist and earthborn?). becoming an alliance soldier was her one and only dream job. if anything, shepard probably dreamed more about feeling like part of a family. to her pleasant surprise, she got that as a perk of landing her dream job and eventually getting a ship and crew of her own. it’s also why i imagine my shepard to be more renegade earlier on in her military career, but more paragon and just overall optimistic later down the road - she feels like she’s gained a true family, one worth fighting and living for. 

20. Can your Shepard cook? 

she’s not amazing but not horrible. it really depends on who else is around. she’ll generally make more of an effort if she has friends or guests, but tends to stick to pretty simple no-fuss things so it’s hard to go wrong there. generally her cooking is decent enough to fill stomachs and even get a few yums here and there. on her own, though, she’ll do juuust enough in the kitchen to make sure she’s eating a balanced diet, meaning it often ends up with her snacking throughout the day on weird shit like whole panfuls of stir-fried veggies or like 4 baked chicken breasts just by themselves. putting together full real people meals is too much of a hassle for her. her friends definitely give her shit for it when they realize her solo cooking/eating habits, even the dextros and AIs. it’s also part of what prompts garrus to learn how to cook human food meals. 

32. How do they handle guilt? 

externally, pretty well. internally, not well at all. so, some context around the hybrid earthborn/colonist background i mentioned earlier: shepard grew up with an abusive and manipulative mother, indifferent stepfather, and two younger siblings. her parents eventually abandon them, and shepard is responsible for looking after her brother and sister. but then she later loses them to a slaver attack, and even though she was busting her ass trying to look after them, she feels like she just wasn’t good enough at being a strong, protective, or adequate older sister. of course, part of this is the impact of her mom’s narcissistic tendencies and emotional abuse. rather than process her guilt and acknowledge her grief, she keeps her family background a secret from everyone once she actually joins the military. but this also drives her trauma around not being able to save the kid in me3, and exacerbates her survivor’s guilt after the reapers are destroyed. at least on active duty, she was busy enough to keep from thinking about it or letting the guilt paralyze her all the time. during her recovery, it’s a lot harder. 

still, she gets better at processing and managing the guilt, because her countless brushes (more like collisions let’s be real) with death have left her wanting to no longer hold back on sharing her true feelings or experiences. she starts by telling garrus one night about how she had never really believed in an afterlife. but as she felt herself slipping away in the ruins of the citadel, she began to wonder about if she would be able to see her brother and sister again. she’s a little embarrassed and a little scared to talk about her family, after so many years of denying their existence as a way of forcing her grief back into its hiding spot. she was damn good at that, too. luckily, garrus is as supportive as ever and per an old post describing my headcanon of turian military and society’s prioritization of mental health services, he encourages her to work through her internalized stigmatization of therapy and get professional support during her recovery.