#night fear

Suddenly, I am awake. Its dark still? I look at the time; still late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. I wish I didn’t. Look at it at all, I mean. Do I need to? Must I, really? 

And yet, here I lay. And your comfort is gone. The magical protection of your affection is as dormant as you are, and I am resentful. 

I resent the night, the moon, the stars, that beckon me, and I staunchly ignore their calls. And like a spurned lover, they turn my mind against me. And I find myself questioning, EVERYTHING. My worth on this earth, my value to you and my intention. I question your place and your truth and your love. I question the tings I have long since learned o be steadfast truths, nothing is safe. 

And as the rays of the early sun filter through my window and I see the light of day, I am a savaged mess, a ruin of what I was, waiting for you to build me back up again.