#nhcf

A worse fate awaited me than a red card. I was standing next to Horan on the touchline when I felt a pair of hands clutching my shorts. Then a firm yank downwards. And finally, a loud northern cackle and the words ‘take that you wanker’. Terror gripped me. I’d been debagged by Harry Styles in front of 18,000 people, most armed with camera phones. My most recurring nightmare is finding myself naked on camera live on air. This was worse. I actually WAS now semi-naked, and the stadium roared. Not, I fear, from admiration at my talent. Corden exploded with laughter.