#nexusexual

Mod Ash:

okay SO! i want you to know you can identify as more than one orientation if that fits how you feel! i did a little research, and this is what i could pull up in regards to being attracted towards celebrities;

Proculsexual/Proculromantic:‘Procul’ is Latin for ‘far away’ or ‘from a distance,’ and describes someone who has attraction/feelings only for people they’re sure they can never be in a relationship with, like fictional characters, celebrities, etc. {Note: many aromantic people fantasize about relationships with celebrities, fictional characters, etc. This term is more about people who feel very strong romantic love/attraction towards these people for an extended period of time, rather than just daydreaming about, if that makes sense}

Nexusexual/Nexuromantic:Not feeling a type of attraction but have a strong desire for the emotional connection that comes from it because of your neurodivergencies, thus at times being confused as to whether you do actually feel the attraction or whether you just have a strong need for this person to be in your life. This can result in people finding themselves ‘connected’ to fictional characters and celebrities more often due to not having to actually be involved in a relationship with these people. For neurodivergent people and aromantic or asexual people only.

so for example, if you feel procul- fits you, but you are attracted strictly to women, or female-aligned nonbinary people, outside of those famous celebrities, you can be proculbisexual and however you wish to define your attraction towards women (im sorry, i dont know your gender, so feel free to use lesbian/straight/sapphic/venusian/etc)

i hope this helped clear things up for you! ♡

Mod James:

Ash gave a very good answer, but I just wanted to throw my two-cents in! My advice only really applies if you’re female though, and neither this ask or your blog seems to list your gender, so feel free to skip it if you’re not!

Compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced by a patriarchal society. This refers to the idea that heterosexuality can be adopted by people regardless of their personal sexual preferences.

In the case that you are female, you may have feelings for these unattainable men because you are afraid of not having feelings for men at all. In this society it is extremely taboo to deviate from the “norm” in any way. It can be terrifying to come to terms with your sexuality. So you may very well be only attracted to women, but afraid to admit that to even yourself! So you “picked” the easiest men to be attracted to and developed feelings for then as a way to cope with the fear. Celebrities are idolized in this society, they’re shown only at their best, and interviews and social media can make it easy to feel connected to them when in reality, they do not know who you are and you have not had a relationship with them. It is very easy to fall for a celebrity and be seen as “normal” to answer the question “who do you have a crush on” with someone like Jared Padalecki. But deep down, you know you’ll never have the chance to be with these men, so you’ll never actually have to date them, so these crushes are “safe” to have, because they will never end in a relationship with someone you don’t actually want to be with.

Not being able to picture yourself marrying men/only ever picturing yourself with women, but not being able to completely identify as lesbian is very common with questioning women.

someone recently came to us about ‘celebsexual’ but i think it would be a little inappropriate to use that word in such a context. it might be considered fetishising; switch it around, say you are only attracted to poor/homeless people. it becomes demeaning then, doesnt it? instead, id like to direct you towards these two alternatives that can be used in conjunction with other orientations such as gay/bi/pan/etc.

Proculsexual/Proculromantic:‘Procul’ is Latin for ‘far away’ or ‘from a distance,’ and describes someone who has attraction/feelings only for people they’re sure they can never be in a relationship with, like fictional characters, celebrities, etc. {Note: many aromantic people fantasize about relationships with celebrities, fictional characters, etc. This term is more about people who feel very strong romantic love/attraction towards these people for an extended period of time, rather than just daydreaming about, if that makes sense}

Nexusexual/Nexuromantic:Not feeling a type of attraction but have a strong desire for the emotional connection that comes from it because of your neurodivergencies, thus at times being confused as to whether you do actually feel the attraction or whether you just have a strong need for this person to be in your life. This can result in people finding themselves ‘connected’ to fictional characters and celebrities more often due to not having to actually be involved in a relationship with these people. For neurodivergent people and aromantic or asexual people only. 

so, if you are not attracted to boys or girls at school, our outside, but you do experience long-term attraction towards celebrities, male female and nonbinary, you certainly can identify yourself as proculbi/sexual/romantic ace aro if you feel like that fits you well.