#nextkid

OH every mom's fave question.  It's never asked by anyone you ACTUALLY want to talk to about it with.  My stock answer is now, "When daycare for ONE isn't more than a house payment."  I commend the people that can have Audis, beautiful homes & three kids but we just can't.  I think if we had another one my husband would have to stay home with them & work on the weekends doing side jobs.  No joke.  

I was kind of taken aback by just how many people that I work with or know that had kids around the same time as we had our son - were prego again around when the first one turned one.  It seemed crazy to M & I but then of course the math puts them about 2 years apart.  I think 2 years has always been a go-to answer for an ideal gap but when you're in the thick of it it just seemed too soon for us.  I got a little itchy for one though about 6 months ago but the expense, & now with our life changes, it's on hold.  Lately with moving, me getting a new job, and on & on - it has certainly put this subject to bed for a while.  

I never thought of myself as having one child.  I always imagined none OR 2 or 3.  If we decided, or fate decided, that we would only have one I would certainly be content with that but I think I'd really like a second.  

Now the THOUGHT of a second & the STRESS of a second I imagine are two different things :D  Having one kid, I really had no stress about.  I was a little worried about the costs of having a child but I really wasn't worried about us being parents once I had him in my belly.

Some days the thought of two little demons makes me so scared.  My a'hole dogs make things much more stressful though so I'll blame much of my home stress on them as well.  I've been alone with K a lot lately since M's been fixing up/cleaning our old house now that we moved, & I've realized being alone so much, that sometimes I can't handle it.  K's whining because he can't decide what he wants to eat, the dogs are barking out the window at some dude jogging down the road... sometimes I clench my jaw & lose it a little inside.  I pray that this is how we all are.  Well I'm sure there are some moms that are soooo zen that they always talk to their kids like Mary Poppins & never scold their dogs for scratching up the damn window sill.  Well again... that's not me.  I love K so much though.  Even when he's crabby or being a little destructive toddler I am frustrated for about 30 seconds tops.  He is the best thing in the whole world.  The best.