#newtibal

Okay so for a really long time (literally years) I have been kicking a Newtibal “fake dating” fic idea around my brain. I actually have a lot of it planned. It’s kind of based on the movie The Wedding Date (a shitty movie I watched more than a decade ago in someone’s dorm room).

The basic idea is that Hannibal has a long weekend business retreat and he’s basically “married to his work,” but he’s sick of everyone else having a significant other at these retreats and him being alone, so he makes an online ad to hire a fake date to act like his loving boyfriend all weekend (just acting).

Newt is working in academia and he’s doing fine moneywise, but then his research project loses funding and he’s pissed off and willing to do anything to get his project completed.

Tendo finds the ad online and sends it to Newt jokingly, and Newt totally goes for it. (While Hermann and Vanessa are like “OH HONEY NO.”)

So Newt has to be Hannibal’s fake date for a weekend of luxury and it actually turns out AMAZING (lots of sexual tension and forced coupley behavior, etc.) but it’s totally awkward because THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FAKE, DAMN IT (but they’re both totally feeling it).

I think that the ship name is one of the worst in existence, but I’m actually more interested in Newt/Hannibal than I am in Newt/Hermann.  (I do like Newmann, and I think it’s super cute, but the way the entire fandom kinda expects you to act as if Vanessa has never existed, and as if, you know, she wasn’t pregnant? Rubs me the wrong way a little bit lol)

I really dig the Newt/Hannibal dynamic for a few reasons - I’m always interested in complex power dynamics, especially between criminals and civilians, and with the age difference as well, like...

There’s a load of different ways to go with it, but I dig:

Newt being beholden to Hannibal for Various Favours

Newt oversharing a lot, and Hannibal taking the whole thing with his wry sarcasm and his general desire to milk Newt for any and all useful information

the butterfly knife!!!

Newt actually managing to run circles around Hannibal once he learns to calm the fuck down a little, and Hannibal really enjoying Newt almost being able to fend for himself

my kink is absolutely Hannibal getting Newt to learn some self-control

especially because I tend to see Newt as having a very high sex drive and tending to see it as “let’s go, let’s race to the finish line”, whereas Hannibal has more stamina and is more interested in drawing stuff out, and that drives Newt Wild

Newt Geiszler? Being pimped out by Hannibal Chau’s tailor for a party? In all his tacky galore? I love

Hermann’s disapproval of the entire thing! And Newt not listening to him!